Who Hijacked Our Country

Saturday, March 24, 2007

U.S. Marine Corps — A Story

A friend e-mailed this to me:

The Marine Corps found they had too many officers and senior enlisted men. It was decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer or senior enlisted man who volunteered for retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. Those applying got to choose what those two points would be.

The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000. The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000. The third one was a non-commissioned officer, a grizzly old Sergeant Major who, when asked where he would like to be measured replied, “From the tip of my weenie to my testicles.”

It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about the nice big checks the previous two officers had received. But the old Marine insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.

The medical officer arrived and instructed the Sergeant Major to “drop ‘em,” which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of his weenie and began to work back. “Dear Lord!” he suddenly exclaimed, “Where are your testicles?”

The old Sergeant Major calmly replied, “Vietnam.”


Blogger Mile High Pixie said...

BAAAHAHAHAAAA!! I've been told that non-com officers are smarter than officers; now we have proof.

March 24, 2007 at 4:16 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mile High Pixie: Yup, those grizzly old sergeants will outsmart the suits any day of the week.

March 24, 2007 at 4:33 PM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

Good one.

March 24, 2007 at 5:08 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

J. Marquis: Yeah, that one really cracked me up.

March 24, 2007 at 5:16 PM  
Blogger Lizzy said...

That is a great one, Tom.

March 25, 2007 at 7:09 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lizzy: Thanks. That joke was really a riot.

March 25, 2007 at 9:17 PM  
Blogger Jenn of the Jungle said...

That was funny Tom. Very funny.

March 27, 2007 at 12:09 PM  
Blogger Kitchen Window Woman said...

Oh my!

March 27, 2007 at 1:30 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jenn: Glad you liked it.

KWW: Yup, that was my reaction too.

March 27, 2007 at 9:32 PM  

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