Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

AIG Executive Commits Suicide

The name of the deceased has not been revealed pending notification of relatives. But Fox News has obtained a copy of the suicide note:

“There just isn’t any point to this any more. I keep hearing all these news reports of American workers losing their jobs, their homes, while I get handed this huge bonus that I didn’t earn, courtesy of Uncle Sam. I can no longer look at myself in the mirror. I can’t stand seeing the greedy shameless person I’ve turned into. And I can not take one more day of muttered curse words, dirty looks, unreturned phone calls and canceled appointments.

“I bear no grudge against that liberal senator who said AIG executives should kill themselves. He was only saying what millions of Americans were probably thinking. And he was right. I’m sorry for the pain this will cause my family, but they will be better off without me.”

Happy April Fools Day.

cross-posted at Bring It On!


Anonymous Carlos said...

Hardy har har ;-)

April 1, 2009 at 2:44 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Gasp! You are far too cruel, sir. I was excited for a moment.

Next time though, can you have a few politicians off themselves instead? ;-)

April 1, 2009 at 5:50 AM  
Blogger Ali said...

good one, really!

April 1, 2009 at 7:50 AM  
Anonymous Screamin' Mimi said...

That was a good one; damn, had me going. Keep skewering the bastids, Tom, they need it.

April 1, 2009 at 11:52 AM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Committing suicide would infer that these people actually have consciences. The reality is they feel entitled to every dime they stole.

We can dream, though.

April 1, 2009 at 7:00 PM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

Elitism means never having to say you're sorry, even if you happen to be the sorriest motherfucker on Earth. Just ask that monkey down in Dallas.

April 1, 2009 at 9:45 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

Too bad this was April 1st! I seriously wouldn't mind if most corrupted management in America had the same fate. But is it true that who started this financial mess was President Regan in the 80's?

April 1, 2009 at 11:22 PM  
Anonymous S.W. anderson said...

That would really be cruel joke on the AIG exec's colleagues. I'm sure they would be devastated at missing the chance to hold a blowout wake where they could get through their grief in style — Monaco or St. Tropez, maybe.

April 2, 2009 at 1:45 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ali: Yes, in my opinion it was Reagan who got this trend started. Maybe some of the government regulations were too excessive in 1980, but Reagan threw out the baby with the bathwater. And George W. Bush took Reagan's "reforms" to even more extreme levels, with dire consequences.

Just my opinion.

April 2, 2009 at 11:27 AM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

Well April fools or not, it's scary how many people out there would applaud this. That's how angry America is at them.

April 3, 2009 at 2:57 PM  
Blogger Ali said...

Tom, is it true that most banks are insured at AIG and the US givernment will not risk losing AIG since that will mean the Banking sector will collapse?

April 3, 2009 at 3:41 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ricardo: You're right, there's definitely a lot of anger out there.

Ali: Sorry, I don't think I can answer that. I haven't followed this whole mess closely enough to know all the details. I should, but this financial stuff just hurts my head after awhile.

April 3, 2009 at 7:05 PM  

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