Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, May 25, 2009

The New Face of the Republican Party

Or, make that the new NEW NEW face of the Republican Party. The GOP is poised for a comeback. After making some incredibly stupid miscalculations and blunders, they’re about to come roaring back with a vengeance.

A partial list of their retarded pitiful stunts would include:

  • Michael Steele contradicting OxyContin “Rush” Limbaugh, and then falling to his knees sobbing and groveling and begging Limbaugh to forgive him.
  • Dick Cheney constantly haranguing Obama for being soft on terrorism and making us “less safe.”
  • Dick Cheney (again!) saying that Limbaugh is more representative of the GOP than Colin Powell, and then saying he didn’t know Powell “was still a Republican.”
  • Republicans threatening to filibuster Obama’s Supreme Court nominee, without even knowing who the nominee is.
  • The Republican National Committee spending hours and hours debating whether to re-christen the Democratic Party as the “Socialist Democrats,” before finally deciding that they should be spending their time discussing something more important. (Ya Think???)

But that’s all water under the bridge now. After making these idiotic pathetic mistakes, the GOP has learned some painful lessons. They’re sick and tired of being nothing but a punch line for Jay Leno and Jon Stewart. They’ve changed their ways and now they’re ready to roll! They’re Back Baby!

They’ve come up with a brand new smear attack, and By God this one’s gonna work! The Republican National Committee sent out a new attack video last week. This video juxtaposes images of Nancy Pelosi with images of Pussy Galore (of James Bond/Goldfinger fame). Way to go Republicans! This is how you reach out to Middle America. Millions of people who are scared shitless of losing their jobs and their homes will suddenly think “Nancy Pelosi and Pussy Galore hee hee hee hee hee. OK, I’m sold. I’m voting Republican!”

It doesn’t matter that all of their previous “galvanize the base” Swiftboat attacks have backfired. This time it’s gonna work. This time they’re really gonna drive those pansy-ass RINO moderates out of the Republican Party. Tens of millions of hardcore True Believers will unite, and organize, and they’re gonna send Newt Gingrich and Sarah Palin to the White House in 2012.

The Republican Party has finally discovered The Secret ™: If you try something and it doesn’t work, try the exact same thing again. If you keep getting the same result, don’t worry; just keep doing the same thing over and over and over, and eventually the Fates will intervene and you’ll get the result you wanted.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Anonymous Bee said...

The video is pretty pathetic. Looks like it was edited by a high-schooler.

Keep on with the antics, RNC. They'll bury themselves yet, because every single stupid thing they do (of where there has been a real glut lately) just drives that nail into the coffin. It's a little sad, but strangely exhilirating, to watch a major political party which has had too much power over the past several decades, implode with one bad loss. Talk about denial...

May 25, 2009 at 4:25 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Bee: I hope their implosion continues. And it will as long as they keep believing there are hundreds of millions of Biblethumping Free Market warmongers out there just itching to vote for them, if only they'd "get their message across" more effectively.

May 25, 2009 at 4:32 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

The GOP are kind of like my ex-wife's second husband. Instead of sucking it up and realizing they need to change to woo voters, they instead resort to vicious name calling and the old guilt by association that may have worked in the past, but by now are old hat with savvier voters.

May 25, 2009 at 6:33 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lew: Good description. For over 20 years they've won elections and sabotaged candidates by name-calling and Swiftboating. But the party's over and now they don't know how to do anything else.

May 25, 2009 at 8:28 PM  
Anonymous S.W. anderson said...

Hey, let's not forget that brilliant stroke of a "budget." Eighteen pages, no specifics. Their triumph was that reporters just sort of snickered instead of LOL when they handed it out.

The Pelosi ad is scurrilous. Picturing her face inside a gun barrel sends a not-so-subtle hate message to the GOP's large loose-screw contingent. Or maybe I should say it sends a take-action message.

There's no pit in hell hot enough for the hateful, spiteful turd(s) who came up with it.

May 25, 2009 at 10:53 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: No doubt that video is sending a "subtle" message with Pelosi's face in somebody's crosshairs. These wingnuts still haven't grasped that when they "preach to the choir" with videos like this, the media picks it up and runs with it and the extremists look more wacky than ever.

May 26, 2009 at 11:45 AM  
Anonymous Carlos said...

It's pretty fucking sad to me that public service has evolved into nothing but information warfare. Where are the statesmen who put their country above themselves or their parties?

May 27, 2009 at 2:43 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: "Public service?" "Statesmen?" I think they're been relegated to the history books. They've gone the way of the hula hoop.

May 27, 2009 at 10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's like I always say. When the chips are down and they talk about change and upgrading their style to reflect the faces of the people..

They always throw it away and go back to their basics..Hell it has been known to work and at least you always know where they stand.

Michael Steele? Lets see how long he last as Chairman, he'll be invisible long before that. Now that they have Jindahl they don't need Steele or Powell.


May 27, 2009 at 8:09 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: Yup, they keep talking about their "Big Tent," and then everybody who's gay, poor, a minority or too moderate gets kicked out of the tent.

From Reagan's election up until 2006, the rightwing extremists and moderate Republicans benefited each other and won lots of elections by working together. But the wingnuts insist on their way or the highway, and there just aren't enough voters who agree with them or who keep falling for their smear attacks and fear campaigns. I think it's finally Game Over for that coalition.

I agree, Michael Steele will probably be kicked out of their clubhouse soon.

May 27, 2009 at 8:28 PM  
Blogger Demeur said...

Here's a quote I'm sure you've heard:

"The GOP is clawing their way to the bottom".
(And that was from a republican!)

May 28, 2009 at 10:02 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Demeur: I hadn't heard that saying, but it fits.

May 28, 2009 at 11:37 AM  

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