Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, July 13, 2009

The Shanking of Antonin Scalia; The Drowning of Levi Johnston…

Who needs Fear Factor or the Jerry Springer Show? If you get off on lowest-common-denominator entertainment (and the operative word is LOW), nothing beats the daily unraveling of the Republican Party.

Today’s antics include:

Jason Mattera, a spokesman for Young America’s Foundation, said that if Sonia Sotomayor is confirmed, she might shank Justice Antonin Scalia. After all, she’s one of them hot-tempered Puerto Ricans and she comes from a bad neighborhood. That’s the way those people settle things back in the barrio.

And the continuing saga of the Clampett Palin family just gets wackier all the time. After Levi Johnston told the media that Sarah Palin cut and run so she could make more money, the Joads Palins went wild. And just today, Pat Buchanan had a suggestion for the First Dude — or whatever his title is now that his wife’s a Quitter.

His advice: Todd Palin should drown Levi Johnston. In Pat Buchanan’s own words: “Well, first, with regard to Levi, I think First Dude up there in Alaska, Todd Palin, ought to take Levi down to the creek and hold his head underwater until the thrashing stops.“

And speaking of “putting lipstick on a pig” — Ralph Reed, one of the most notorious of the Biblehumpers from the 1990s, is BAAACK. But don’t worry, he’s changed. He’s all wrapped up in a brand new package.

That stodgy old hate-spewing Christian Coalition has now morphed into the hip new Faith and Freedom Coalition. Think of it as Christian Coalition 2.0.

The Grand Inquisitor Himself says: “This is not going to be your daddy’s Christian Coalition. It has to be younger, hipper, less strident, more inclusive and it has to harness the 21st century that will enable us to win in the future.”

And then he said — be sure you’re sitting down for this — “Even though I’ve been doing other things, this is kind of like Steve Jobs returning to Apple.”

All righty then…

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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12 Comments:

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July 13, 2009 at 10:01 PM  
Blogger rockync said...

Astounding really that the Moral Right who profess to be all pro life and such have no compunction about drowning young fathers, gunning down doctors...

July 14, 2009 at 5:26 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Oh great, just what the world needs, hipster Christians.

July 14, 2009 at 7:17 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Rockync: The gap between what they preach and what they practice, just keeps growing.

Randal: Dude, abortion is sooo 1990s. Jesus is where it's at, Dude.

July 14, 2009 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger Demeur said...

Hey didn't Michael Steele try the same tactic? We saw how that one worked didn't we.

Don't forget to watch as the wingnuts continue their incredible "shrink". Nerds on parade with hip hop music too. Sorry that's an insult to nerds.

July 14, 2009 at 11:50 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

The largely irrelevant Pat Buchnanan seems to be crying out for attention. Heh! Same with Ralph Reed... Sadly, I think more Americans will pay attention to Reed than to Buchanana, though.

July 14, 2009 at 1:50 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Demeur: Yes, that's an insult to nerds everywhere :)

All the hip-hop trappings in the world won't help these wingnut "leaders."

Snave: Ralph Reed and Pat Buchanan are at least good for comic relief, if nothing else. It's just unfortunate that so many gullible people take them seriously.

July 14, 2009 at 2:36 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Doesn't the GOP realize that no matter how hard you buff, you just can't polish a turd?

July 14, 2009 at 2:56 PM  
Anonymous Bee said...

Reed: Crookeder than a dog's hind leg. One word: Abramhoff.

Buchanon: Bugshit crazy old bastard needs to just have the damned stroke already. Drown Levi Johnston? He's the only part of that whole nightmare of a family to make a lick of sense so far - how bad is that?

July 14, 2009 at 5:21 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lew: They'll just keep on buffing it and buffing it, results be damned.

Bee: I haven't really followed the daily grind of the Palin family. But from what I've seen, Levi doesn't seem any smarter than the rest of them. Maybe Trig is the smartest one in the family.

July 14, 2009 at 5:55 PM  
Anonymous S.W. anderson said...

What a coincidence! I was just thinking the other night how someone ought to take Pat Buchanan down to the river and hold his head under water until the thrashing stops.

July 15, 2009 at 1:09 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: Maybe it could be a draw -- Levi Johnston and Pat Buchanan would end up drowning each other.

July 15, 2009 at 4:35 PM  

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