Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Dick Armey: Teabagged By His Own Teabaggers

Just as surely as the Black Widow kills her mate, herds of stampeding Teabaggers will kill other members of the herd (figuratively) — even the leader of the herd — over the tiniest disagreements.

Dr. Frankenstein is just about to be killed by the monster he created. Dick Armey, founder of FreedomWorks and probably the best known icon of the teabagging craze, might be pushed out by his own minions. Yes, his own bots are turning on him. He’s too liberal.

Tom “Kill All The Mud Races” Tancredo hates him because he actually wants to let some of those icky brown people into the country. Yuck!!!

Other members of the species Knuckledraggus Teabirthus are turning on Armey because he didn’t fight hard enough against ObamaCare. Damn right! How many windows did Dick Armey break? How many propane lines did he cut? How many death threats did he make against liberals? The answer to all three of those questions: None. Pussy!

They’re also turning on him because — and this is just too twisted for words; I can think of only one comparison here. Sorry, brief digression:

A high school history teacher once told us that Josef Stalin murdered one of his top executioners because he was horrified at some of the atrocities committed by this executioner — even though he had committed those atrocities because Stalin ordered him to! Now, whatever you’d call Stalin’s mental state at that exact moment — absent-mindedness, schizophrenia — just try to imagine that state of mind, and now hold that thought:

OK, some of Dick Armey’s minions are turning on him because of all the corporate money he’s brought in to finance their cause. HEELLLLOOOOO!!!!!!!

This corrupt corporate money that Dick Armey has raised is The Reason there IS a teabagging movement. DUUUHHH!!!

These simplefucks actually believe that one day last April, millions of everyday citizens got out of bed that morning and simultaneously thought to themselves: “I’ve had it up to here with that Kenyan president and his fellow communists. I’m gonna make a hand-lettered sign and carry it to the town square and wave it around at passers-by. I know — Taxed Enough Already. God, am I clever or what? And, oh my God, those three words form an acronym. I’ll call it a Tea Party. Wow, I think I’m on to something here.”

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Blogger Dave Dubya said...

That watered down corporate swill they think is tea just isn't as potent as the brain melting Neocon kool-ade they drank from Dubya and the Big Dick.

No wonder they're coming unglued.

Just wait until their Kool-ade Party is back in power. The magic will be back and they'll LOVE our government again. They'll be the flag-waving, goose-stepping twits they were born to be.

March 25, 2010 at 3:00 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Perhaps someone should remind these fools that Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Fox News take corporate money.

March 25, 2010 at 4:15 PM  
Blogger Holte Ender said...

Dick Armey is being eaten by his children because he didn't threaten to kill or maim anybody, the students are teaching the master.

March 25, 2010 at 6:27 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Ah yes, Newt Gingrich's unindicted co-conspirator, hustling for corporate cash while flogging the right-wing rubes into a frenzy. Nice to see scales are falling from some eyes.

Here's another clue for the racist resenters who mistake making hateful fools of themselves in public for political activism.

Dick Armey loves big gummint the way auto repair shop owners love potholes, and for the same reason. He also loves big corporations, because they've got the kind of money he's in the game to make.

In short, having tasted and abused power in public office, Armey's now in it for the money. Every raving loon in a funny hat with a teabag hanging from it who shows up at some Freedomworks-staged event is working to make Armey wealthier, most of them without pay.


March 26, 2010 at 1:07 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Dave: You nailed it -- Kool-ade withdrawal symptoms.

Lew: If the rug got pulled out from under them that suddenly, God knows how they'd react.

Holte: "Eaten by his children" -- LOL. Couldn't happen to a nicer person. He created them.

SW: "Dick Armey loves big gummint the way auto repair shop owners love potholes, and for the same reason." Excellent.

I should feel sorry for the suckers who do all this volunteer work to make Armey even wealthier; but I don't.

March 26, 2010 at 9:58 AM  

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