Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Warning: The Black Helicopters Are HERE!!!!!

Teabuggerers, Afterbirthers and other Patriotic Americans — Doomsday is here! Ever since Billary Satan Clinton started corrupting this great nation in 1993, we’ve all known this terrible day would arrive.

That dreaded One World Government is here. The sovereignty of this great nation has now ceased to exist. United States of America: 1776 — 2010. What a long strange trip it’s been.

For the first time EVER, the United States will begin submitting its human rights record to international scrutiny. What??? Some tinpot third world hack is going to be scrutinizing the United States of America???

Hillary Clinton announced, “Human rights are universal, but their experience is local. This is why we are committed to holding everyone to the same standard, including ourselves.” Traitor! Commie!

Where does she get off — “Holding everyone to the same standard, including ourselves.”

We’re NOT the same! America is Number One! The United States of America is BETTER than the whole lot of them fourth rate pansies! Didn’t anyone ever tell Billary about Manifest Destiny??? God’s Will???

We don’t have human rights violations here in America! Or if we do, uh, well, er, it’s different when WE do it.

Where are you Chuck Norris? Your country needs you!

Labels: , , , , ,


Anonymous Jess said...

Well it is about damn time we live up to what we tell others to live up to. Now as for your Chuck Norris thingy. I have been a huge fan of Conan O'Briens for forever and he started the whole Chuck Norris is... you better watch it, because Chuck Norris is so powerful he died after writing that, but death has not told him yet and he might just come and look for you to go all apeshit on ya. Chuck will be what, King of Texas or prez? I'm confused.

March 18, 2010 at 1:51 PM  
Anonymous Thomas said...

I wonder how McCain & Lieberman's new bit of legislation will be viewed in this light.

March 18, 2010 at 2:31 PM  
Anonymous Screamin' Mimi said...

It is certainly about time we put up or shut up. We love to talk about China, the Middle East, etc. as huge abusers of human rights, but I'm not sure we're any better. If we are, let's prove it. If we're not, let's find out so we can try to correct it. Enough stuff has been swept under the rug I'm surprised there's a horizontal surface left to stand on. :)

March 18, 2010 at 4:01 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: Chuck wants to be president of Texas after they secede.

Thomas: Yup, that new law will do wonders for our international human rights image.

SM: Or to paraphrase Bush and Cheney, if we don't want our human rights record scrutinized then we must have something to hide.

March 18, 2010 at 11:32 PM  
Blogger Holte Ender said...

Not many countries in the world could call themselves perfect on human rights, perhaps not any. Certainly none of the big democracies could, unless you overlook invasions of sovereign states, then it's not too bad. China hasn't invaded anybody for years and they are shocking on human rights, so there goes that invasion argument.

March 18, 2010 at 11:35 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

"This is Rock Blockert, your on-scene reporter, reporting from former Vice President Dick Cheney's undisclosed location. We had planned to ask Cheney about news the U.S. will submit its human rights information for review by other countries. However, a family member told us Cheney is indisposed and unable to talk to the press at this time.

"We noted a large hole in the residence roof, which appeared burnt at the edges.

"Now, here in the background, delivery people are bringing in emergency supplies. We see boxes of smelling salts, Kaopectate and Depends. Oh, looks like there's a couple cases of beer, too.

"Stay tuned, we'll have more as the situation develops."

March 19, 2010 at 12:22 AM  
Blogger Joaquin said...

On this topic, I have but one word.....................CUBA

March 19, 2010 at 4:54 AM  
Blogger Dave Dubya said...

Of course, the US will be happy to disclose any and all questions on human rights cases...As long as we don't need to invoke state secrets to cover them up.

This should be more than enough to bring to light of day all the car towings due to parking violations.

March 19, 2010 at 8:15 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Holte: I think all countries should be open to international scrutiny of their human rights records. China hasn't done any recent invasions, but they have a way of invading a country (i.e. Tibet 60 years ago) and then claiming it's been part of China all along.

SW: LOL. If America's human rights record (especially Cheney's) is open to scrutiny, that really might push Cheney over the edge. Either his final heart attack, or he'll depart like that gift shop owner at the end of Needful Things (Stephen King).

Joaquin: What, you're saying Cuba doesn't have any human rights violations?

Dave: OMG, National Security! Slipped my mind. Yes, now that I think about it, even disclosing a car-towing might jeopardize our national security. Hillary undoubtedly didn't think this through. Scrap the whole idea.

March 19, 2010 at 11:13 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

Great find, Tom! The GOP mantra, "Do what we say, not what we do," has made the US an international pariah. It's time we led by example, not by fiat.

March 19, 2010 at 11:19 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

TomCat: You're right. If we can't lead by example, then we have no business trying to lead.

March 19, 2010 at 2:40 PM  
Blogger Beekeepers Apprentice said...

Whoa, I totally missed this one in the news - it's about time.

March 19, 2010 at 6:07 PM  
Blogger TomCat said...


March 20, 2010 at 12:33 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home