Republicans Change Their Minds about Obama: “He’s Pretty Cool After All”

Who would’ve guessed?  For nearly three years, President Obama has been repeatedly capitulating and compromising with Republicans.  I never understood why.  Was he afraid they wouldn’t like him if he stood up and did what he said he was going to do?  Or did he think that the 874th time he bent over for them, they’d suddenly realize what a nice guy he is, and they’d all go “hey, he’s all right!”

But I stand corrected.  Apparently President Obama knew what he was doing all along.  His two most recent cave-ins have finally yielded the acceptance he’s been craving.  Obama had a chance to propose raising the debt ceiling, to keep the Republicans from taking America hostage every time they want something.  This would have required a vote of approval from the House, but the vote would have to be held within two weeks and — oh darn it — Congress is on recess until mid-January.  A golden opportunity!  But Obama decided to wait until after Congress is back in session to make his proposal on raising the debt ceiling.

And now it seems Obama will NOT be using this recess period to make any appointments to the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and/or the National Labor Relations Board.  [sigh]

But this time, for some odd reason, Obama's M.O. has worked!  Republicans have suddenly decided that Obama is OK after all.  Mitch McConnell (R—Ku Klux Klan) said:

“Aw, we was just puttin’ the boy through his paces.  Sort of like an initiation, you might say.  Except most initiations don’t go on and on for three years, heh heh.  But now the boy has run every gauntlet we’ve put down in front of him.  As far as I’m concerned, he’s one of us now.  I reckon he can even come in through the front door if he wants to.”

John Boehner (R—Jack Daniels) said:

“I kept wanting to tell ol’ Baracky that thish whole thing wazh just shum short of initiashushun ritual, but my GOP buddies made me promish not to tell.  It wazh not easy.  Every time we played golf together, I wazh afraid the truth would shlip out.  And now that heeezh my buddyroo, weezh gonna go and hazh a reberzhabb haberzhober zhu shish…”

Now that they’re all one big happy family, President Obama might reconsider some of his already-accomplished legislation.  He was overheard saying “Government regulation of the health insurance industry?  What was I thinking?”