Chris Christie Goes Down on Big Ag Lobby — the Blowjob Heard 'Round the World

With all due respect to Ross Perot, that Giant Sucking Sound you're hearing is the sound of Chris Christie trying to blow his way to the White House in 2016.  It ain't gonna happen, but unfortunately we'll all spend the next two years being treated to the disgusting sights and sounds...

Last Friday, Governor Chris Christie vetoed a bill which would have banned the use of gestation crates — i.e. where hundreds of pigs are crammed so tightly into cages, they can't move.  There's the Friday News Dump and then there's the news dump on the Friday after Thanksgiving.  Chris Christie did NOT want to be seen bending over for the factory farm lobby.  This bill to ban gestation crates had been passed by gigantic margins in both houses of the New Jersey legislature, and it's supported by ninety-something percent of New Jersey residents.

But Iowa governor and Big Ag prostitute Terry Branstad wanted Christie to veto the bill.  And Iowa is the first stop on Chris Christie's road to the White House (see snowball's chance in hell).  What to do?  Vote with the people of New Jersey and simultaneously take a stand against animal cruelty, or blow the governor of Iowa?

About the choice Christie made, Jon Stewart said:

“Your choice was either listening to the nearly unanimous voice of the people that elected you or saying ‘(expletive) them,’ and kowtowing to a state 1,000 miles away in exchange for, really, let’s be honest, the slimmest chance for political gain in a caucus you’re not going to win. Sir, you're not winning.”