God Has Spoken to Marco Rubio: “Drop Out, Loser!”

Marco Rubio has finally left the GOP clown car, saying:

“It is not God's plan that I be president in 2016 or maybe ever.”

Apparently the voters of Florida — Rubio's home state — weren't too keen on the idea either.  Marco Rubio is every bit as mean-spirited as Donald Trump and just as batshit crazy as Ted Cruz; he just does a better job of hiding it behind his smarmy car-salesman persona.

Good fuckin' riddance.

More on the Marco Rubio-R2D2 Meltdown

Sorry to keep beating a dead candidate horse, but:  anyone remember that scene from The Stepford Wives between Katherine Ross and Paula Prentiss?  Dueling robot meltdowns:  “Obama knows what he's doing...” vs.  “I just wanted to give you coffee.  I thought we were friends.”

Here's the coffee scene from The Stepford Wives. (if you'd rather cut to the chase, you can fast-forward to the 2-minute mark).

Chris Christie: Unsung Hero for Outing Marco Rubio

Thank You Chris Christie for outing Marco Rubio at the GOP debate.  Marco Rubio is nothing more than a walking talking algorithm that spews rightwing talking points on cue.  I'd never vote for Chris Christie, but he did America a huge favor by showing millions of TV viewers that Marco Rubio is such a soulless automaton, he gives empty suits a bad name.

Who's the Worst of the GOP White House Contenders? Marco Rubio.

By a mile.  Nobody else in the GOP Clown Car even comes close; mostly because the rest of them don't have a snowball's chance in Hell of ever winning a national election.

Ted Cruz and Carly Fiorina are batshit crazy.  Donald Trump is too loud and obnoxious.    Ben Carson??? ROTFLMAO!  Ditto for “Jeb!”

Marco Rubio is every bit as Far Right, every bit as corporate-owned-and-operated, as the rest of the GOP Clown Car, but without the foaming-at-the-mouth bug-eyed craziness that would scare off Middle America.  Marco Rubio COULD get elected if he wins the nomination.  And that is just plain fuckin' scary.

Underneath that smiling personable Ricky Martin demeanor, Rubio is just another corporate prostitute who's being paid to pick up where George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan left off.  Here's Matt Taibbi's impression of Marco Rubio in a Rolling Stone article:

“He is short but prickishly good-looking, all hair and teeth and self-confidence. He's the kind of guy that no group of men wants to go to a bar with, both because he spoils the odds and because he seems like kind of an asshole generally...There are young women in the crowd looking up at him adoringly, like a Beattle... He's so slick, he could probably sell a handful of cars at every speech...He checks all the boxes of what the Beltway kingmakers look for in a political marketing phenomenon: young, ethnic, good-looking, capable of working a room like a pro and able to lean hard on an inspirational bio while eschewing policy specifics...Rubio sells a kind of strident, bright-eyed dickishness that in any other year would seem tailor-made for roping in conservatives.”

Scared yet?  Here are some of the “policy specifics” that Marco Rubio wants to eschew — at least until AFTER he wins the White House:

If you like Private Prisons — aka the Prison Industrial Complex, For-Profit Prisons, the various Kids-For-Cash scandals (Google it) — You'll love Marco Rubio.

And don't you just hate those FCC commies with their nanny state Net Neutrality?  Wouldn't you love to crack down down on those municipal governments who are providing low-cost high-speed Broadband access?  So would Marco Rubio.

And needless to say, Marco Rubio wants to return control of banking/financial regulations to the Wall Street thugs who have purchased him.

Be Very Afraid.

GOP Candidates' Achilles' Heels: Ask About Iraq

Why bother with cow-tipping when Republican-tipping is so much more fun?  Ambushing Jeb Bush or Marco Rubio with the Iraq question is sort of like sneaking up behind a waiter who's carrying a huge tray full of dishes, and tickling him in the ribs.  

Republican-tipping is not only fun; it's a way to start weeding out the dimmest and most clueless of the wannabes.

Jeb Bush had first said that based on the intelligence we had at the time (2003), he would have invaded Iraq.  Then he sputtered that he had misunderstood the question; he would have done something different, or, uhh, er...  And then finally:

“If we're all supposed to answer hypothetical questions, knowing what we know now, what would you have done? I would not have engaged. I would not have gone into Iraq.”

It depends on what the meaning of is is.

Later, Marco Rubio was asked the same question, and immediately transformed into a mass of incoherent blubbering.  First, the Iraq invasion was a mistake based on what we know now.  Next, it wasn't a mistake because “the world is a better place because Saddam Hussein doesn’t run Iraq.”  And then, trying to get out of his self-dug hole by burrowing in even deeper, he blurted “based on what we know now, I wouldn’t have thought Manny Pacquiao was gonna beat Floyd Mayweather Jr. in that fight a couple of weeks ago.”

Clearly, every White House wannabe needs to be asked the Iraq Question.  Relentlessly.  Mercilessly.  At some point they'll come up with a boilerplate talking point for every candidate to recite verbatim.

And these teleprompted synchronized-swimming recitals will be just as entertaining as their “Uh, what I meant was” “I misunderstood the question” flailings. 

U.S. will Restore Diplomatic Relations with Cuba

For the first time in over fifty years, the United States will restore diplomatic relations with Cuba and open an embassy in Havana. Whoa!  You mean we's gonna be tradin' with them there Comminists?!?  Next stop, 21st century!

President Obama announced:

“We will end an outdated approach that for decades has failed to advance our interests and instead we will begin to normalize relations between our two countries.”  He said the agreement will “begin a new chapter among the nations of the Americas” and move beyond a “rigid policy that is rooted in events that took place before most of us were born.”

Senator Marco Rubio (R—Token) got his panties in a bunch, whimpering that there will be no funding for Obama's new policy, no lifting of the trade embargo and that no ambassador to Cuba will ever be confirmed:

“I’m committed to doing everything I can to unravel as many of these changes as possible.”

Phyllis Schlafly: Hispanics’ High Illegitimacy Rate “just about the same as the blacks”

And the GOP continues to refine its “Outreach to Swarthy Minorities” program.  Realizing that she’d forgotten a few ethnic slurs in her previous speech, Phyllis Schlafly has made up for lost ground.  In the latest excerpt from her “Brown People will never vote Republican, so quit worrying about them” series, she said Latinos can never be Proper Republicans because they have too many children out of wedlock.  Even worse, these people “don’t understand” the concepts of limited government and the Bill of Rights.

She said Republicans are committing political suicide by embracing immigration reform because immigrants are only interested in getting a handout from the government.  On the Clay and Marty Show — a conservative radio program — Phyllis Schlafly told the audience:

“The people that Republicans ought to reach out to are the white voters.”  She said Latino voters will never vote Republican because “they don’t have Republican inclinations at all. They’re running an illegitimacy rate that’s just about the same as the blacks are.  The plain fact is they come from a country where they have no experience of limited government and the types of rights we have in the Bill of Rights. They don’t understand that at all. You can’t even talk to them about what the Republican principle is.”

Way to go Redneck.  Over the next few years, the Democrats’ most effective weapon will be the GOP’s own words.

And the Republican rift continues to widen.  Marco Rubio and Kelly Ayotte — two of the Tea Party’s biggest up-and-comers — have alienated the Republican Base by supporting the immigration bill.  Sarah Palin wants these two squishy moderate RINOs to be “primaried” and replaced by somebody even more conservative.

Good.  Keep “primarying” every Republican who isn’t far enough to the Right.  If the Sarah Palins and Phyllis Schlaflys have their way, every GOP candidate will have to pander to the inbreds in order to get the nomination.  Then in the general election, most of these Talibangelical Republicans will get trounced by their Democratic opponents.

Sounds like a plan.

Marco Rubio — Chickenhawk

Most of the Republican White House contenders — with the exception of Ron Paul — have been clamoring for the U.S. to attack Iran.  Now that Marco Rubio is auditioning to be Mitt Romney’s running mate, he’s jumping on the bandwagon too.

Talk about birds of a feather.  Combine Mitt Romney’s and Marco Rubio’s military experience and whaddya get?  ZERO.  I’m guessing the total amount of physical labor ever performed by these two empty suits would also add up to zero.

(And Mitt Romney says he’ll build the Keystone Pipeline all by himself if he has to.  ROTFLMAO.  “Oohhh, Ann, I had the most awful day at work.  I sprained my finger, tore my sleeve, and look, I got mud all over my $1,200 shoes.”  But I digress…)

Marco Rubio said today that the United States must “not stand on the sidelines” in the tensions between Iran and Israel:

“Our preferred option since the US became a global leader has been to work with others to achieve our goals.  But America has acted unilaterally in the past — and I believe it should continue to do so in the future — when necessity requires.”

“When necessity requires” — isn’t that a redundancy?

He added:

“The goal of preventing a dominant Iran is so important that every regional policy we adopt should be crafted with that overriding goal in mind.  We should also be preparing our allies, and the world, for the reality that unfortunately, if all else fails, preventing a nuclear Iran may, tragically, require a military solution.”

Why yes, it is just a tad “tragic” when other people’s sons and daughters get torn to shreds in an unnecessary war.

Marco Rubio:  either 1) call your recruiter ASAP, or 2) Shut The Fuck Up.

Terri Schiavo

Ah, nostalgia. Nothing conjures up 2005 better than “Terri Schiavo.” And those two magic words have just transported you back five years.

I wouldn’t have thought the Far Right would want to bring back the Terri Schiavo fiasco, since that was their most embarrassing public relations defeat in recent history. But this is exactly what Marco Rubio is doing.

Florida’s favorite Rightwing Shitburst — and governor wannabe — has been attacking Charlie Crist for not worshipping fetuses devoutly enough. And in a new press release, his campaign dredged up Terri Schiavo:

“Crist also received criticism on the Terri Schiavo debate about where he really stood on a Congressional bill that would have let Terri’s parents take their lawsuit to save her life to federal courts.”

More than any other incident, the Terri Schiavo Show™ put the national spotlight on the Far Right’s chronic severe schizophrenia. Government should be small enough that we can drown it in a bathtub. AND it needs to be big enough to insert itself into millions of Americans’ agonizing personal tragedies.

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Everything you always wanted to know about Reconciliation: Is it a magic wand that will instantly pass every bill the Democrats want? Will it turn Republicans into a horde of screaming foaming maniacs (how could we tell?) who will bring the Senate to a grinding halt?

This article answers a few questions and misconceptions about the Reconciliation process.

Yes, Republicans can offer jillions of amendments to try and paralyze the proceedings. But the total debate time allowed is twenty hours. After 20 hours, “all amendments must be disposed of in a so-called ‘vote-arama.’ So all of those amendments (or motions to waive the amendments) must be voted on in rapid succession.”

Yes, it’ll be a long tedious excruciating process. And that’s all the more reason to get started Yesterday.