Koch Brothers: “Thank God for Obama’s Stimulus Package”

No, of course they didn’t really say that. Rightwing shitwads are notorious for condemning something and benefiting from it at the same time, without admitting or even grasping the irony.

There have already been jillions of news stories about politicians and VIPs blasting the stimulus bill as nothing but “socialism” and “government meddling,” and then taking part in the groundbreaking ceremony for a project that was made possible by that commie stimulus. These stories have already been done to death, and people whose IQs are higher than their shoe sizes are probably tired of hearing the 800th variation on the same story.

On the other hand, the “failed stimulus” inbreds could be told the same fact eight million times and still never comprehend it. So anyway, Choir — today’s sermon is:

The Koch Brothers held one of their numerous fundraising gatherings over the weekend. (Do they ever do anything else?)

About 1,500 protesters, organized by Common Cause, gathered outside the meeting. Law enforcement officers were called to maintain order and protect the VIPs inside. Some of these officers were Riverside County sheriffs, whose jobs had been SAVED by that dreaded stimulus package.

Thanks to the police protection made possible by all that excessive government spending, the Kochtopus and its tentacles could safely rant and rail against that Socialist in the White House and those tax-and-spend Democrats.

2011 State of the Union Speech

Well, it was a pretty bland evening. And that’s a good thing, what with the Tucson Massacre and all, which came on the heels of ten years of mutual hatred bordering on open warfare in this country.

Obama did a good job of speaking in generalities that most of us can agree on. He referred to our global competitive disadvantage as a “Sputnik moment” (which somebody else already used a month or two ago). My personal favorite phrase of Obama’s, referring to two years of shouting over “Obamacare,” was “Let’s fix what needs fixing, and move forward.”

In the few moments between Obama’s SOTU speech and Paul Ryan’s rebuttal, I remembered why I hardly ever listen to news “analysis” on TV. I forget who the blubbering heads were, but their consensus was that Obama “forgot” to mention gun control. This was his brief window — a golden opportunity — to captivate the nation with an impassioned plea for gun control. And that was when I turned off the TV, thinking “oooookey, well I guess I forgot too.”

And then came Paul Ryan. He seemed almost likeable, in that class nerd/Howdy Doody sort of way. (He and Bobby Jindal must have had the same public speaking instructor.) I was prepared to hate him, based on his most famous quote: “We need a better senate, and we need Obama out of the White House.” But, as the Biblethumping community always says (as if they actually meant it), “hate the sin, love the sinner.”

He was nowhere near as combative or obnoxious as I expected, but of course he had to trot out the Far Right’s done-to-death “failed stimulus” soundbite. Maybe some of the thousands of people whose jobs were SAVED by that “failed stimulus” would have a different description, and/or a few colorful expletives for Paul Ryan.

And since the Teabag Nation is so far to the right they make most Republicans (i.e. RINOs) look like Communists, tonight’s format was changed from good cop / bad cop to good cop, bad cop and badass rogue motherfucker you don’t EVEN want to fuck with.

Enter Michele Bachmann. Paul Ryan’s wimpy milquetoast response was the exact kind of spineless “apologizing for America” wussery that our Founding Fathers warned us about.

If you do a search, you’ll probably find a video of Michele Bachman’s “He-Man Rebuttal to the Pussy Rebuttal” speech. But be warned: Do NOT look into those eyes, or — or…you…will…become…one…of…THEM…Yes Master, I am ready. We must get on with Our Mission…