Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Neocons Murder 2200 American Soldiers, Then Say “OOPS! Nevermind!”

The War on Terror is getting so convoluted, you can’t tell the players without a program. Bush’s foreign policy should be titled “Who’s On First.”

We’re about to invade Iran because they have nuclear technology, and it turns out Halliburton has been helping Iran develop their nuclear technology. Is Halliburton aiding and abetting the enemy? Do they hate America?

Bush feels so strongly about selling our port security to a Middle Eastern company that he’ll veto any law that prevents it. Then we find out that this entire deal was made without Bush even knowing about it. But in any case he feels very strongly about it — er, I think that’s what he was told to say. Uh, Karl, hey, I didn’t fuck up again, did I?

And now, we’re getting a Big 180 from one of the world’s most influential neocons, Francis Fukuyama. He's one of the architects of our Iraqi invasion and a member of the infamous Project For a New American Century. He’s now changed his mind and decided “oh, the hell with it.”

He said the neocon doctrine has “evolved into something I can no longer support.” He said it’s “now in shambles” and that its failure has demonstrated “the danger of good intentions carried to extremes.” Hey Dickhead, ever read a history book?

Oh well, back to the drawing board. Hey, those weren’t real people getting killed over there in Iraq were they? I mean, this was kinda like a video game, or a chess match, or something, right?

Well, at least nobody important was killed over there. I mean, the Bluebloods and VIPs are all keeping their kids out of the military (eewww, that's for working-stiffs, lowlifes, not for decent people who count for something). So most of the people killed over there were like, just ordinary people, blue-collar types, you know.

Let’s see what sort of fun and games we can play next…

9 Comments:

Blogger The Rambling Taoist said...

Now Tom,
You're trying to mix capitalism with foreign policy. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. So what if Halliburton is helping the Iranians with building nukes. That's a good thing for short-term profits!

And you must know the UAE company buying the port operations has financial ties to some in the Bush administration. Rewarding friends with plum deals is what capitalism is all about.

February 23, 2006 at 12:28 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Trey: Silly me, what was I thinking?

February 23, 2006 at 10:56 AM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

Admitting you are a moron is the first step to recovery.

It's a shame this particular moron is partially responsible for so much death and destruction. It seems that he could have learned all he needed to know by the method you suggested.

February 23, 2006 at 8:21 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jolly Roger: Yeah, I guess admitting what a moron he was is a good first step. I don't know if his flipflop will have any effect on the other PNAC members or not. Or it may have the wrong effect and he'll be found at the bottom of the Hudson River.

February 23, 2006 at 9:11 PM  
Blogger Argent said...

Every single person who helped him get into office has blood on their hands and cancers growing in their guts. They know what they've done, and it must be eating them alive. My conscience is clear.

Wow... I think I need some coffee.

February 24, 2006 at 6:14 AM  
Blogger Kevin said...

You should have included this quote from your linked article in your post: "More democracy will mean more alienation, radicalisation and - yes, unfortunately - terrorism."

This is the most telling quote of them all. Thank you for bringing this to the attention of us bloggers. Good work.

February 24, 2006 at 7:30 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Argent: God Damn right. My conscience is clear too. Coffee all around.

Cosmik Voyager: Yup, that should be a no-brainer. Democracy isn't pretty or predictable; it isn't supposed to be. These neocons must have thought democracy in Iraq would cause everyone to become a corporate consultant, start wearing 3-piece suits and join the local Elks Lodge.

February 24, 2006 at 10:44 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

Let's not forget the weekly polo match, and multiple rounds of golf as business deals are discussed.

From your link:

Mr Fukuyama, one of the US's most influential public intellectuals, concludes that "it seems very unlikely that history will judge either the intervention [in Iraq] itself or the ideas animating it kindly".

Going further, he says the movements' advocates are Leninists who "believed that history can be pushed along with the right application of power and will. Leninism was a tragedy in its Bolshevik version, and it has returned as farce when practised by the United States".


I just LOVE it when the right-wingers turn on their own. Fukuyama saying these things is kind of like an animal eating its young, but it's more just like someone admitting they were way wrong and that they are now seeing the error of their ways. He is smart enough to do this. If more of his friends will do the same, things could start looking up.

I guess one could call Fukuyama an intellectual... although I think most of these neocon/PNAC people are dumbasses. They may be smart in some ways, but I think maybe it's just "book smart". We are now seeing that their philosophy has little to do with common sense in the international scheme of things.

Maybe Fukuyama's just admitting he was wrong because he feels the end is nigh, so he's repenting!! Heh... Lord help us.

February 25, 2006 at 10:31 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: I don't know if this guy really had a change or heart, or if he sees the tide turning and he wants to get out in front of things (as they used to say on NYPD Blue). Either way, I think he's a day late and a dollar short. After all the death and destruction wreaked by their policies, it would be like Josef Stalin saying "hmmm, I guess those labor camps weren't such a good idea after all. My bad."

You're right, these neocon leaders are smart intellectually but they have zilch understanding of the real world or how things work.

February 26, 2006 at 12:00 AM  

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