Who Hijacked Our Country

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

How to Make Lot$ of Money

What do you think is the best way to make lot$ and lot$ of money? The stock market? Real estate? Clawing your way up the corporate ladder? Building a better mousetrap?

::Smirk:: Come on, get with it. The most lucrative money-making scheme — by far — is to:

Bribe Congress.

Purchasing a Congressman (or several) is so far out in front of every other moneymaking scheme, it doesn’t even matter what’s in second place. There’s gold in them thar prostitutes legislators.

Here’s just one example: several years ago, a coalition of sixty corporations — including Pfizer and Hewlitt-Packard — spent $1.6 million in lobbying fees. This bribe lobbying effort was to “persuade” Congress to create a special low tax rate on their earnings from foreign operations.

Presto! These companies have (so far) saved $100 billion in taxes. Whew! Talk about a return on your investment — can anyone top that??

Of course this doesn’t help the Horatio Alger type who’s starting off on a shoestring, but hey, that’s sooo last century. This new economy is for people who already have money. If you have a few million to throw around, you’ll get a killer tax cut. And as you can see, the investment opportunities are endless.

A lobbying group — The Carmen Group Inc. — collected $11 million in fees in 2004. And the firm delivered $1.2 billion in assistance to its clients.

So there you have just two examples of this incredible investment opportunity. Go for it! And no sniveling from any bleeding heart socialists. This is the Land of Opportunity. IF you’re already rich.


Blogger spaceneedl said...

why stop there? it's proven pretty lucrative to be part of the bush spin machine ($1.6 billion on administration-friendly pr and advertising); what about the (as-yet) uncounted millions in post-katrina fraud? and what the hey, let's not forget the mission accomplished iraq reconstruction. billions and billions served over there.

over here, however, we don't have two nickels to rub together for schools, children, or the poor.

i'm sorry, what was the question?

February 14, 2006 at 9:32 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Spaceneedl: Yup, that's it in a nutshell. Unlimited riches for hucksters who just say the right buzzwords and know who to suck up to. Makes you wonder why anyone is still deciding to become a teacher or social worker (but thank God they are).

February 14, 2006 at 9:40 PM  
Blogger Blogenfreude said...

You mean this is more lucrative than investing in Nigerian princes who need to get their money out of their country? Oh boy - wait 'til I tell Mom!

February 15, 2006 at 7:21 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Blogenfreude: Yup, and it's even more lucrative than stuffing envelopes at home in your spare time for $50,000 a week.

February 15, 2006 at 9:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Everytime I pick up the paper over the years these clowns get more and more tax cuts and still complain, Shouldn't they be in the negative by now?


February 19, 2006 at 9:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It never ceases to amaze me how cheap our politicions work for. I mean I read of buying influence for only tens of thousands of dollars. $10,000 in donation can net you millions in benefits.



February 19, 2006 at 9:54 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: Yeah, they keep getting more tax cuts, plus more and more of them are setting up their locations in the Cayman Islands or some other offshore tax haven.

And that return on investment for bribing Congress is phenomenal. A 100 to 1 ratio in the two examples in the post. That's by far the most lucrative investment I've ever heard of.

February 19, 2006 at 11:06 PM  

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