Gathering of the Faithful
If you think pagans, feminists and homosexuals are a threat to America’s moral fiber, mark your calendar for September 22nd through 24th. In Washington, D.C. there’ll be a gathering of decent Christians who feel exactly the way you do.
The Family Research Council, American Family Association and Mouthbreathers For Torquemada are sponsoring the Washington Briefing. Click here to register and to get information on all the fun-filled events. From the Pagan Toss to the Witches' Drowning Pool — there'll be good clean fun for the whole family.
As their website says: “This is more than a conference. It’s a call to ACTION!” You’ll get to hear — In Person! — such living legends as William “The Gambler” Bennett, Man Coulter, Sean “Dude Where’s My Forehead” Hannity, Newt Gingrich and Electrodes “Alberto” Gonzales.
Whooooeeeee!!!! Are you getting hot yet??
In addition to being mesmerized by such visionary speakers, you’ll also have a chance to sponsor a student activist for only $50! As the slogan on their website says: “To Prepare the Leaders of tomorrow, we must start training today.” Amen!
If you want to play a role in keeping America a Fundamentalist Christian nation, as God intended, you MUST attend this important event.
Bring your snakes.
posted by Tom Harper @ 10:29 AM
24 Comments:
You mean Pat Robertson isn't going to be there? I'm disappointed. Who's going to light the "Burn the Non-Believers" bonfire now?
Argh, I just love it when a bunch of twits get together and decide that they speak for the majority. When are they all just going to fade away into obscurity? I know, wishful thinking.....
Ananke: Ah yes, the Burn the Non-Believers Bonfire -- won't be the same without it.
I like your FOAD Thursdays; always a great rant.
uh...
gingrinch was the commencement speaker at my graduation. My mum almost boycotted my graduation.
This was at Georgia Tech. Apparently he has a doctorate in history or something and spent the whole time talking about technology - thankfully. He might have had a riot on his hands - except we didn't get our degrees until AFTER he spoke.
My brother (notre dame alumn) got Tom Brokaw.
Its all so unfair
p.s. bush is doing a 20 minute "address to the nation" on monday night in honor of 9/11 - and he says its "not going to be political"
BaxterWatch: Must be a memorable graduation, listening to Gingrich. I know he's very intelligent and knowledgeable; I just don't agree with most of his ideas. And he sure doesn't practice the "morality" he preaches about -- he was having an affair while his first wife was dying of cancer
I'll have to check out Bush's 9/11 speech, just for curiosity. I'll probably watch some of the CBS 9/11 documentary, the one that the American Family Association was trying to ban because of the profane language. Might even watch part of the one on ABC too, just for entertainment.
Mouthbreathers for Torquemada? That's a good one.
Are they connected to the WFA
(Wingnuts for Attila) or
KFC (Kooks for Cromwell) organizations?
J. Marquis: Yup, MFT, WFA and KFC are all connected. They're all in direct contact with Fred Phelps and Sun Myung Moon.
check this out:
http://www.jesuscampthemovie.com/
should be an interesting movie.
google the title.
Mike: Whew! "Scary Movie" would be a better title. I don't know if you saw Syriana or not, but Jesus Camp seems a lot like the scenes where future suicide bombers were being trained and indoctrinated. Substitute God for Allah and the two cults are practically interchangeable.
I'll go to DC after they change their gun laws. Then and only then would I feel it was a safe place to take the family.
God Bless America, God Save The Republic.
Yea, I saw Syriana and you're right, it is similar.
Good point!
David: Remember that if you attend this Washington Briefing, you won't need a gun. God will be extending His protective shield on all members of the Faithful, and He will keep you safe :)
Mike: I really liked Syriana. It was hard to follow all those twisting subplots, but the movie was really engrossing.
The Elders of Jesusistan are gathering at the appointed hour, in the appointed place, to foster in the land a new beginning-let the teachings of the (new Jesusistan) Jesus go forth now into every American home, and (especially) bedroom, and set this country on the "right" path once and for all!
And those who disagree? Just you wait. We got the stones all polished and ready for them heathens.
Jolly Roger: Yup, they've got their stones all polished and ready to throw. It's time to bring this nation back to God.
sweet jeebus in a thong..I loved this post..mouthbreathers..I almost shat myself!
I didn't watch abc's hatchet job..I caught the CBS documentry instead.
At least Sun Myung Moon brought us delicious Celestial Seasonings Teas. (I kid you not) Can't think of anything the others have produced other than dividing people in the name of Jee-zuz. I seem to remember something in the sermon on the mount about Jesus warning about those who say that they speak on his behalf . . .
Dusty: I watched parts of both the ABC and CBS documentaries, but not much. The ABC one seemed too convoluted and the CBS one was too depressing (which of course it would be).
Frstlymil: I didn't know Sun Myung Moon was connected to Celestial Seasonings. Small world. At least that's one more contribution than any other Bible group has done. Sermont on the Mount -- that seems to have fallen by the waywide. It's so much more fun to bombard sinners with lectures and warnings.
PS: "Waywide" was supposed to be "wayside." (Proofread!)
I'd love to comment on the genius of this ENTIRE post but I'm still too stuck on "mouthbreathers".
Hot Damn! Woodstock for A-holes!!
Nicole: Thanks.
I.M. Dedd: Woodstock for A-holes, perfect description.
Cassandra: A seminar with atheists, scientists and the ACLU? And you chose them over Jesus??? Tisk Tisk.
Cassandra, you are going to hell for sure! Where is the conference you're attending? I might have to check that one out. It might actually be more fun than the carnival midway at the Christian gathering. Stuff like "Whack a Pagan" and the "stoning booth" tend to get old after a while.
Wow, that many nutcases together at once, in one place. Amazing...
holy shit! that's what ill be standing in...holy shit...little ole pagan goddess believers like me will be tossed into the dunking pond or burned at the stake...i hope it's the dunking pond for me..cause with my big hooters i could be down there for a week and still have time for a dr.pepper break..
Better hope for the dunking pond then. Those people seriously need to get lives.
Post a Comment
<< Home