Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

America: Threatened By a Book

Decent Godfearing Americans will agree that there are two serious threats to our Christian Nation: 1) Queers; and 2) Pagans who worship animals. And now, oh Mother of God, both of these evils have been combined into one book.

“And Tango Makes Three” is the story of two godless homosexual penguins who are raising a baby penguin. Lord Have Mercy! Jesus is turning in his grave!

To make matters even worse, our comminist library system has this infernal book on its shelves, where our children can see it. And that’s not all — The American Library Association has proclaimed this book as one of the year’s best children’s books. Oh God, we need Your guidance. What Would Jerry Falwell Do?

Fortunately some upright citizens have complained about this blasphemous book. But we need more voices of decency; we need more momentum. We need YOUR support to help keep America free.

If the strict no-tolerance enforcement of God’s Law is the most important thing to you, please contact Hysterical Christians For Decency and show them your support. With your help we can keep these wicked books out of our libraries and away from our children. Amen!



Blogger PoliShifter said...

has Senator Craig spoken out about this book yet? If not, I expect his comment any day now denouncing the child's book that promotes the gay lifestyle.

Now, if the book was about a heterosexual penguin that sometimes visited other male penguins in public bathroom stalls during momments of weakness, well, that might be a book Senator Craig could endorse.

August 29, 2007 at 2:08 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

PoliShifter: Or if the book were about a homosexual penguin who spent his life pretending to be straight and bashing other homosexual penguins, millions of Fundies would rush out to buy the book.

August 29, 2007 at 3:50 PM  
Blogger Candace said...

Yet, the Bible, with all of its murder, incest, rape, and slavery (and that's just the patriarchs!) is okay for children to read. Perfect.

August 29, 2007 at 4:38 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Candace: Ah yes -- murder, rape, incest, slavery. Those are all manly and honorable in the eyes of God. But 2 male penguins raising a baby penguin: Blasphemy!

August 29, 2007 at 5:44 PM  
Blogger Kvatch said...

What Would Jerry Falwell Do?

Oh, I don't know...roll over in his grave?

But seriously... THEY'RE PENGUINS FOR F*CK'S SAKE!!! Get a life and burn something really subversive you addled morons!

August 29, 2007 at 7:28 PM  
Blogger Larry said...

Which book does Craig read while waiting in the smelly stalls of America's toilet fest?

August 29, 2007 at 7:59 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Kvatch: "Get a life," yup, that's something those morons could do.

Larry: Good question. Who knows what Craig reads (or if he even does read).

August 29, 2007 at 8:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How about a regular, heterosexual penguin who regularly visits prostitutes, screws widows and orphans out of their pension funds, and is a card-carrying George Bush supporter -- would it be OK for him to raise a baby????

Just wondering . . .


August 29, 2007 at 9:20 PM  
Blogger Suzie-Q (S-Q) said...

See the video on my blog.. Craig was denying wrongdoing with Congressional Pages back in 1982!
(Hat tip to Jolly Roger for the video!)

August 29, 2007 at 9:21 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Cat: Yes, that's the exact kind of Penguin America needs. We want that penguin to raise lots of little penguins who will grow up to be just like that.

Suzie-Q(S-Q): Since 1982, huh? Thanks, I'll check out the video.

August 29, 2007 at 10:31 PM  
Blogger BaxtersMum said...

ha. I bash my employer often to friends, but at least they have that site blocked with their net nanny.

something about "hate speech."

cool. I guess the Man does have some sense.

Then again, it IS a Dutch company.

August 30, 2007 at 5:48 AM  
Blogger Lizzy said...

Everyone reading your blog post should buy the book. We need to show our solidarity against this madness.

August 30, 2007 at 8:18 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Baxter's Mum: Oh, you mean the Fred Phelps site. Yeah, he's pretty pathetic. I don't know if it's better to have his site blocked, or whether it's even more of a punishment to just let everyone see his site and see what a pitiful loser he is.

Lizzy: Excellent idea. It sounds like a really touching story, especially for anyone who's seen "March of the Penguins."

August 30, 2007 at 11:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Of course penguins are godless...
they don't go to church!


August 30, 2007 at 6:47 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: That's right! What good are those smelly animals anyway? We should just get rid of all of them. Without those godless things waddling all over the ice, we'd have room to build a large church.

August 30, 2007 at 7:12 PM  
Blogger Christina said...

all penguins must be gay, look at how they are dressed.. :)

August 30, 2007 at 10:11 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Christina: Oh my God, now that you mention it...fire and brimstone on all of them.

August 30, 2007 at 11:35 PM  
Blogger LET'S TALK said...

I hate it when someone tries to tell others what is right or wrong for them to do.
This is a Republican or Evangelical way of running things, why they are out doing the exact thing that they are telling others not to do.

August 31, 2007 at 5:55 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Let's Talk: That's true, both parties are too meddlesome. Democrats get carried away with their "nanny state" mentality, but at least that serves a purpose, to an extent. But these Fundies going ballistic over a children's book about penguins -- that's off the charts.

August 31, 2007 at 9:50 AM  
Anonymous Thomas Ware said...

Animals, bow down to gods;
Human>, do not.

August 31, 2007 at 7:11 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Thomas Ware: At least intelligent human beings don't.

August 31, 2007 at 8:54 PM  
Blogger Larry said...

Ever notice how all these moral Republicans, who tumble down the stairs of despair in scandal, are all close allies of Bush.

Wonder what that could mean?

September 1, 2007 at 11:38 AM  
Blogger Mile High Pixie said...

Baahahaahaaa! I love the fact that there's even a book about gay penguins! BAAHAHAAA!! What *would* Jerry Falwell do? I say he'd shag a hooker and tell everyone to send him $3 million or he's gonna die. And Polishifter's comment has me ROTFL.

These people must think "March of the Penguins" is a documentary about a gay pride parade.

September 1, 2007 at 1:16 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Larry: Birds of a feather, I guess.

Mile High Pixie: Yup, that's probably just what Jerry Falwell would do. And I doubt if March of the Penguins was viewed by any members of the "The World Is Only 6,000 Years Old" brigade.

September 1, 2007 at 5:41 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

Good for libraries for having copies of the book on the shelves.

Geez, what a frightening link... ick.

September 4, 2007 at 5:33 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: Yup, that's pretty sad -- people going ballistic over a book about penguins.

September 4, 2007 at 6:07 PM  
Blogger Gracie said...

This definitely falls under the "you can't make this sh*t up" category. These folks are truly insane.

September 18, 2007 at 2:44 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Gracie: You're right; nobody could possibly make this shit up.

September 18, 2007 at 5:25 PM  

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