Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, August 27, 2007

“Cut and Run” Gonzales: The Quitter

I usually try not to post on the same subject everyone else is posting about, but this is just too good. It resigned! The Bitch is dead! Electrodes Torquemada Abu Gonzales is no longer Attorney General of the United States. Yiiiipppeeeee!!! Yaaayy!!!

Yes it’s true that Gonzales is only a symptom of the simpleminded powercrazed would-be dictator who appointed him. And God only knows who George Johnny Walker Bush will choose to replace him.

In late 2004, America heaved a massive sigh of relief when John Ashcroft resigned. The worst attorney general in American history was stepping down. We were finally rid of the imbecile who thought the Salem Witch Trials didn’t go far enough. Whoever replaces him can't possibly be as bad, right???

Well, here we are again. We've finally gotten rid of the worst attorney general in our history; he makes Ashcroft look like a liberal. After nearly seven years, we've learned that whenever you think the Bourbon King couldn’t possibly sink any lower, he does. Much much lower.

Who will replace Torquemada? (Rumors are swirling.) Will it be somebody so Godawful that we’ll be yearning for those good old days when that nice compassionate Alberto Gonzales was in charge?

Fortunately we have a Democratic Senate now, whatever that’s worth. If only we could arrange to have fifty spine transplants before the next confirmation hearing. And on that note:

This is your chance to tell the Senate NOT to approve another Bush clone for the attorney general’s office. We need an attorney general who respects the Constitution and the Geneva Convention.

Our Democratic Congress hasn’t done much. The very least they can do is make sure that no future Torquemadas are allowed into the Justice Department.

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Blogger People in the Sun said...

Where's Ted Olson? Talk about a loyal Bushie...

August 27, 2007 at 5:37 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

People In The Sun: Yup, there you go. That would be a perfect choice for Bush; hopefully the Senate would vote him down.

August 27, 2007 at 7:06 PM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

"Skeletor" Chertoff is also being floated as a replacement.

Out of the frying pan...

August 27, 2007 at 8:19 PM  
Blogger Ziem said...

Let's face it, it'll be another pawn for this administration to use, then boil in oil. I just keep thinking.... 16 more months baby! Unless, of course, shrub proclaims himself king....

August 27, 2007 at 10:00 PM  
Blogger LET'S TALK said...

I really want be surprised if it's one of Bush buddies, we all know that he doesn't look very far from his inner circle.
He needs that special someone that will work for him, not America.

August 27, 2007 at 10:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Was John Ashcroft really worse then John Mitchell or Ed Meese?


August 28, 2007 at 12:00 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jolly Roger: Yeah, Chertoff is the most likely name I’ve seen. I don’t know if he's any worse than Gonzales (I really haven’t followed him much), but he's probably smarter and he’d be able to lie more cleverly.

Ziem: Hopefully the Senate won't approve whoever Bush nominates unless he/she swears up and down that they will undo some of Gonzales’ assaults on the Constitution. I’ve seen rumors that Bush might do a recess appointment. In that case, all bets are off. God only knows…

Let’s Talk: Hopefully Bush is running out of those “special someones.” But then again, the Bush Administration is like those mythical monsters where you cut the head off and another head sprouts up.

Erik: God, talk about three winners — John Mitchell, Ed Meese and John Ashcroft. But I think everyone appointed by Nixon and Reagan just looks quaint after 7 years of GW Bush. And Gonzales is definitely worse than any of them.

August 28, 2007 at 12:44 AM  
Blogger Lizzy said...

I heard that LIEberman's name is being floated around!

August 28, 2007 at 8:08 PM  
Blogger Larry said...

I think it will be neocon Orin Hatch.

He is a loyal Bush follower, a Senator and hateful as all the rest.

August 28, 2007 at 8:23 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lizzy: Lieberman -- Gag!! Not only is he one of the biggest assholes out there, but since he's a Democrat (in name only) Bush could say "see, I'm reaching out to the other side."

Larry: Hatch, eh? That would suck too. Some people think Bush might do a recess appointment so that he doesn't need Senate approval. Talk about sleazy.

August 28, 2007 at 11:17 PM  
Anonymous Andy said...

I can't imagine it will end up being someone from Bush's close circle as Gonzo was. The Senate simply wouldn't approve that.

I also doubt Lieberman. He would essentially be giving up his political career for a year and a half stint as AG. Doesn't seem like he would take that option.

August 29, 2007 at 7:16 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Andy: I sure hope it isn't Lieberman. That would be an incredibly shrewd move for Bush (or whoever his current "brain" is). Bush would look like he's being magnanimous and reaching out to the other side, and the Senate would approve him since he's a Democrat. But like you said, Lieberman's career would be finito after his 18 months as attorney general, so I think we're safe.

August 29, 2007 at 12:51 PM  

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