Who Hijacked Our Country

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Cal Thomas’ Amazing TV Set

Rightwing columnist Cal Thomas apparently has a TV set with a mind of its own. He alludes to it in this column.

I’m not up on all the latest electronic gizmos, but it seems Thomas’ television turns itself on and off at will, selects the channel and controls the volume. With every TV I’ve ever seen, you have to manually push a button to turn the TV on, and then push other buttons to select the channel. Where have I been?

Having this kind of TV set might be sort of fun for awhile, but it would get old really fast. With my luck, it would probably turn itself on at 3 a.m., tune in to some crazed televangelist and crank the volume up to 200 decibels.

In Thomas’ column he's talking about the lame quality of most TV programming and says the writers’ strike is a chance for people to turn off the TV and get a life. No argument there. The only must-see program for me is The Shield during its annual 3-month season. This coming season is supposed to be its last, and then I’ll be free.

Other than that I sometimes watch Law & Order SVU, the Daily Show, Seinfeld or Frasier reruns or a movie. But none of them are musts. And most of the time, to paraphrase Springsteen — 600 channels and there's nothing on.

Like most ultraconservatives, Cal Thomas is appalled at the “bad language” and “F-bombs” on most TV shows, and the fact that most news anchors look like porn stars. (Yup, he really said that.)

Here's where he talks about his magic TV set:

“Television was once viewed as a welcome guest in the home. Programmers were to behave as any guest, not soiling the carpet or breaking furniture, controlling their children and demonstrating sensibilities that would not offend their hosts. No more. Today’s television programs behave like uninvited guests who stay too long, eat all the food, drink too much and throw up on the new rug.”

I’m sure glad I have one of those old-fashioned TV sets. I get to select the channel myself, and if I can't find anything I like I can just turn it off. That pooor Cal Thomas. I wouldn’t want one of those infernal devices in my house.

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Blogger Larry said...

He was correct on one thing. Fox News Watch which he is on does suck and deserves to be turned off, as does Cal Thomas.

November 19, 2007 at 5:12 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

Seems to me that a lot of that kind of stuff to which Thomas refers is on the network that runs what is probably his favorite news channel, i.e. FOX.

I usually disagree with most things Cal says, but I actually agree with the last paragraph of his column.

The writer's strike is not going to affect me very much. I tend to only watch "NCIS" on Tuesdays at 8 p.m. when it comes to regular TV series. I catch an episode of "Without a Trace" or "CSI: Miami" once in a while. I watch local news probably 3-4 evenings a week. PBS often has good nature and travel programs, and occasionally some interesting music, but I often forget to watch. I will watch sports. So I guess I maybe watch about 10-12 hours a week?

Anyway, of course Cal had to result to claiming broadcast TV is biased toward Democrats. He wrote a fairly decent column but just couldn't keep from putting in some of the usual myths.

I haven't noticed any news anchors urinating or defecating on my carpet lately, but I will always believe they are all actually naked from the waist down.

November 19, 2007 at 8:56 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Larry: That's true, he "forgot" to mention Fox News.

Snave: Yeah, the writer's strike won't affect me at all. I also keep forgetting to watch PBS. They have lots of good programs, but when I'm in a TV mood I usually just want mind candy.

And of course the TV networks are all liberal and biased in favor of Democrats. I can't believe conservatives are still spouting that shit.

Those "uninvited guests" who stay too long, eat all the food and piss on the carpet are probably Cal Thomas' fellow talking heads from Fox.

November 19, 2007 at 10:49 AM  
Blogger Snave said...


Every time our local paper used to print a Cal Thomas column, it was as if our paperboy was escorting someone to my door who would come in a few evenings a week and take a shit on my dinner plate or living room floor. So many of us local lefties (there actually are a few of us here) were starving for some real political food in the local rag that we started writing letters of complaint to the editor. Within a few weeks, Cal's column no longer came to people's houses a few times a week. My letter referring to him as a "one trick pony" was one of the final ones in the "campaign".

The paper stuck with columns by Broder, occasionally one by Will, and inserted some other more obnoxious ones like Linda Chavez and Mona Charon from time to time... but they also added Molly Ivins to the mix. Now that Molly is gone (bless her soul), we have to look at Rich Lowry's sneering punk face a couple of times each week, and I guess we need to start writing letters of complaint once more. I wrote one about Lowry a few months ago, but only one other person has also written to complain.

About once a year, someone complains about the paper running the "comic" strip Mallard Fillmore. That always generates good arguments and angry letters. I once saved the Mallard strip for a month and listed all the "things I have learned from Mallard" during that month. Of course I was roundly slammed by the local right wing yahoos because I called the strip "right wing religious anti-government anti-schools propaganda presented under the guise of humor", but it was fun seeing how defensive some of the local conservatives would get.

Mallard sucks. So does Rich Lowry. Cal sucks so much he is laughable.

November 19, 2007 at 11:10 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: I don't think I've read Mallard Fillmore. I don't read the comics much; just the political ones like Doonesbury and Opus (formerly Bloom County). I also like For Better or Worse.

Our paper prints Cal Thomas at least once a week. I don't usually agree with him but at least he isn't shrill. The paper used to print Mann Coulter every Friday, and then they replaced her column with Michelle Malkin. Talk about going from the frying pan into the fire -- Coulter actually sounds civil and intelligent compared to Malkin.

I don't know what it is with Rich Lowry; he looks like he's about twelve. I saw his column in yesterday's Seattle paper, where he was saying how well everything is going in Iraq. I felt like e-mailing him and saying "yeah, since you're sitting there all safe and snug behind your computer console, everything is going just great in a war 10,000 miles away." He isn't shrill but he's one of the most annoying columnists I've ever seen.

November 19, 2007 at 11:20 AM  
Blogger PoliShifter said...

Someone should show Cal Thomas the new Fox Attacks Decency video by Robert Greenwald (http://foxattacks.com/decency) and ask him for comment.

How about the bimbos on Fox that pass themselves off as anchors?

November 19, 2007 at 12:05 PM  
Blogger Praguetwin said...

Brian Williams is soooooo sexy. :)

Since I only get it once a week, the daily show is pretty much a must for me. Other than NFL, I can't think of any others.

November 19, 2007 at 1:19 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

PoliShifter: Yeah, it's pretty ironic that the TV programs he's complaining about are probably more prevalent on Fox than any other channel.

Prague Twin: If the Daily Show were only available once a week here, I'd probably make sure to catch it or tape it.

November 19, 2007 at 4:19 PM  
Blogger anna said...

News anchors that look like porn stars? How does Mr. Conservative know what a porn star look like?

Puh-leez. Well, on second thought it probably is the closest he's ever been to a real woman.

November 19, 2007 at 4:46 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Anna: LOL. He probably thinks it's pornographic for any woman to not be dressed in a full length button-down suit. He has more in common with those Muslim extremists than he'd ever admit.

November 19, 2007 at 5:50 PM  
Blogger LET'S TALK said...

I guess those anchors that look like porn stars really gets to him I bet.

November 19, 2007 at 6:14 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Let's Talk: Uh oh, the next thing you know, we'll be hearing that Cal Thomas got arrested in an airport men's room for sitting in a wide stance and doing a one-legged tap dance.

November 19, 2007 at 6:56 PM  
Blogger LET'S TALK said...

Thanks for the laugh on that one Tom!

November 19, 2007 at 7:26 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

Either that or he will get busted for harrassing a female newscaster because he mistook her for a porn star.

November 19, 2007 at 10:02 PM  
Anonymous Andy said...

So glad to see this--I was thinking the same thing when I read this column in the paper. Cal Thomas is a joke.

November 20, 2007 at 12:53 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Yup, he's definitely a joke. He reminds me of the proverbial uptight uncle or grandparent who's always talking about how much better it was "then."

November 20, 2007 at 2:07 PM  

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