Environmental Protection Agency: “Fuck The Environment”

George W. Bush has probably inspired more references to George Orwell than his last eight or nine predecessors put together. Let’s hand over billions of acres of public wilderness to the timber companies, and we’ll call it — get a load of this! — the Healthy Forests Initiative. Teeheeheeheehee.

Then we’re gonna undo several decades’ worth of regulations against air pollution. And we’re gonna call it — ROFTLMAO — the Clear Skies Initiative.

Oh, and don’t forget our “Justice Department,” whose sole purpose seems to be shielding the country’s most powerful VIPs when the unwashed masses start to ask embarrassing questions.

One of the basic tenets of the Republican philosophy has always been — supposedly at least — states’ rights and local autonomy. Hardworking self-reliant Americans are sick and tired of having One-Size-Fits-All legislation rammed down their throats by the federal government.

Now, are you ready for this? Seventeen states have passed strict greenhouse gas limits for motor vehicles. These limits are stricter than the federal limit. And now the Party of States’ Rights has squelched — squished, trounced, deleted, Ixnay — all seventeen of these state laws.

And that’s not all. These seventeen states were trampled by a federal agency that calls itself — be sure you're sitting down for this — the “Environmental Protection Agency.” WTF??? Seventeen states took the extra initiative to combat greenhouse gas emissions, and they were thwarted by the “Environmental Protection Agency.”

You can't make this shit up. If somebody tried to write an “Orwellian” novel describing the George J.W. Bush Administration, everybody would say it was too farfetched; too sensational.

The auto industry’s favorite prostitute EPA Administrator Stephen L. Johnson said: “The Bush administration is moving forward with a clear national solution — not a confusing patchwork of state rules. I believe this is a better approach than if individual states were to act alone.”

“A confusing patchwork of state rules.” [pause] Uhh, I have a question. It’s probably a dumb question, but like schoolteachers are always saying, the only dumb question is the one that isn't asked. (And they always meant it, right?) So:

What's the difference between “States’ Rights!” and “a confusing patchwork of state rules”?