Who Hijacked Our Country

Sunday, December 02, 2007

George W. Bush: “Terrorists? What Terrorists??”

It’s so weird, almost scary, when a person just snaps. When you see someone’s entire personality do a Big 180, it really stops you cold.

Imagine the double take you'd be doing if the most uptight, sanctimonious person you ever met was standing there with a big fat joint in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other, and yelling out “Heeyyy, if it feels good, DO IT! Yeeeaahhh!!!!”

Or picture some simpleminded loudmouth who drinks beer by the case and only talks about football and getting parts for his truck. Only here he is, sipping white wine and speaking softly about the differences between Emmanuel Kant and Arthur Schopenhauer.

Well folks, the President of the United States has just snapped. Seriously, he has SNAPPED!!!

For over six years, the sign of our times has been FEAR. Paranoia! The Enemy! Terrorists! Spy on your neighbors and report any suspicious activity. Keep an eye on that swarthy person over there. If we don’t fight them over there they’ll follow us over here!

But now — everything you know is wrong. Left is right and up is down. Our Wartime President isn't worried about terrorists any more. Nevermind.

Oh, don’t misunderstand. We’re still planning to attack Iran (and Syria and Venezuela if they don’t watch out) and we’ll still be in Iraq when our great-grandchildren have died of old age. The Patriot Act is bigger and better than ever. Habeas Corpus is still dead. We still need to torture prisoners because, well, you know the drill — there might be a ticking time bomb and yada yada yada. And we still want to know what books you're reading and every website you’ve ever visited and who that e-mail was from.

But: Bush wants to slash counterterrorism funding for police departments, firefighters and rescue departments across the country. He wants the funding reduced by more than half. Heellllooo!?!?!?!?!!! Earth to Dumbya!!

Homeland Security wants to provide $3.2 billion to states and cities for protection against terrorism. Bush wants to reduce that amount to $1.4 billion. Programs for port security and transit security are being eliminated completely. WTF??? Chimpy’s drinking problem must be getting worse.

Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) said “This budget proposal is dead on arrival. This administration runs around the country scaring people and then when it comes to putting their money where their mouth is, they say ’sorry, the bank is closed.’ California’s ports carry over 47 percent of all goods imported into the United States. A terrorist attack at any of California’s ports could shut down our nation’s port system and result in a mind-boggling loss for our nation’s economy.”

Charles Schumer (D-NY) said: “To zero out essential Homeland Security programs which have more to do with protecting Americans and fighting the war on terror than much of the money spent in Iraq shows how warped and out of touch this administration’s priorities are.”

Peter King (R-NY) said Bush’s plan “goes totally in the wrong direction. This would be a very grave mistake, and I will do all I can to stop it.”

And even Bush’s Bitch said he would “urge the administration to reconsider this wrong-headed strategy.”

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Blogger Candace said...

Tom, I don't get this one at ALL. Okay, the other day Bu$h is all, let's have a Middle East peace summit. I could understand that one: he used to be the war prez; that wasn't working, so now he's the peace prez. But this? This isn't spin, this is actual MONEY that's being cut from HS. I don't get it. My brain, apparently, isn't devious enough to figure out WTF they're trying to pull this time. But I suspect, when we DO find out what they're doing, we will all be so fucked that we only THOUGHT we were fucked before.

December 2, 2007 at 11:21 AM  
Blogger Praguetwin said...

These people truly live in an irony-free zone. We spend $2 billion a week in Iraq and they don't want to spend 3.4 a year at home?


December 2, 2007 at 12:30 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Candace: I don't get it either. I'm sure DHS wastes money, just like every government agency. But cutting their funding in half and eliminating some departments entirely? I have no idea whether they're really that clueless or whether they have a long-term plot that's moving along right on schedule.

PragueTwin: Irony-free zone -- good one. $2 billion a week in Iraq and less than that per year at home -- go figure.

December 2, 2007 at 2:08 PM  
Blogger Mile High Pixie said...

What in the world?! I think Candace is right. The War Prez thing didn't work, so now he has to be the Peace Prez. Sadly, he'll never be known for being the Smart Prez. Or the Honest Prez. Or the Prez Who Has a Fucking Clue.

December 2, 2007 at 5:47 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mile High Pixie: I don't know what Bush's motive could possibly be. I think "Peace Prez" is so far away from anybody's image of him, not even Dumbya would be dumb enough to try spinning that image for himself. Who knows. But you're right -- "Honest Prez," "Smart Prez" or "Prez who has a fucking clue" will never be synomymous with George W. Bush.

December 2, 2007 at 7:00 PM  
Blogger Larry said...

When you getting ready to install Martial Law, using Blackwater tropps who will soon "guard the borders," why give funds you could steal for yourselves.

December 2, 2007 at 7:03 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Larry: There you go. Who needs police and fire departments and rescue teams when we have Blackwater.

December 2, 2007 at 7:05 PM  
Blogger Ronald 'More-More' Moshki said...

Uh, that's to be the, uh, 'leaving office money' for the guys in '08.

December 2, 2007 at 7:54 PM  
Blogger Mike V. said...

I knew it was not a good idea to send that case of scotch to the White House for W's last birthday..

December 2, 2007 at 9:36 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ronald: "Leaving office money for '08" -- OK, they can take the money if they'll really leave. I'll pay anything if they'll leave. Oh God, what have I become?

Mike: A case of Scotch? Don't worry, Dumbya's birthday was last July. A case of Scotch (or Everclear for that matter) didn't even make it 'til August 1st. With some of his latest pronouncements, I think he's been putting away a case of Scotch every few days.

December 2, 2007 at 10:39 PM  
Blogger LET'S TALK said...

This guy seems to be trying to cut everything he can to keep from raising taxes on his friends and continuing this war and using every penny he can for that.

As for as America is concerned, it's not on his mind, he only wants to win this war that he's gotten himself into and to do that he must take money from everything else to do so.

December 3, 2007 at 3:03 AM  
Blogger illnoise said...

It sounds to me like Dubya's trying to pass a bill the GOP can vote for and say that they help cut spending.

Just like the "border fence", some congressmen can say they helped fight illegal immigration by voting for the "border fence" but there was never any money appropriated for it, so it will never be built.

December 3, 2007 at 7:27 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

I agree with Candace's suggestion that Bush's Middle East peace summit is mostly about trying to salvage his "legacy". Or maybe he is jealous of Al Gore winning a Nobel prize, and he thinks he can win one too if he can generate some kind of settlement between Israel and the Palestinians. Heh...

Praguetwin brings up a great point as well; after an attack of the magnitude of those of 9/11/01, it would seem like the Democrats have the upper hand on the "homeland security" issue at this point.

Considering that Bush went "cold turkey" from the booze without any treatment, that means he probably never resolved the issues which caused him to drink in the first place. The guy is a "dry drunk" who has to get high on his religion and his daily workouts to numb the symptoms that caused him to drink before, namely having to think too much and attempt to use reasoning skills to make decisions. At least that's what Justin Frank, author of "Bush on the Couch" seems to think... I tend to agree. Great picture of the Souse In Chief, BTW!

As for Lieberman... what a jerk, what shameful behavior. He should enlist in the military right away. Being a Senator and all, he should be able to get the age restrictions lifted for his special case, right? Or maybe there would be some family in Sadr City that would be willing to put him up for a few months. That could be pretty amusing. Anyway, he needs to stop being so bellicose and think about what he is actually saying. Just watch, pretty soon he will be advocating the use of "nukuler" weapons.

December 3, 2007 at 8:35 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Let's Talk: Yup, you've got him dialed. Ease the tax burden on his wealthiest donors and let the rest of us send our tax dollars to private contractors. We're gonna stay in Iraq 'til Hell freezes over, but Bush's cronies won't be footing the bill.

Illnoise: That's probably what they're doing, just getting their names on the books for being "in favor of" border protection and anti-terrorist protection, without actually spending any money on it.

Snave: I always thought the Democrats should have had the upper hand after 9/11. It happened on Bush's watch. If something tragic happened on my watch, I wouldn't go around saying "you need me. I'm the only one who can protect you."

Bush being a dry drunk -- that's what I've read. Capitol Hill Blue had some articles about that (I don't know how reliable they are) and the book "Bush on the Couch." Whether he drinks or not (and he is according to the tabloids), he still has the same behavior patterns that caused him to become an alcoholic in the first place.

December 3, 2007 at 10:55 AM  
Blogger PoliShifter said...

Every time Bush starts talking about fiscal restraint, I laugh so hard my stomach hurts.

I can't believe he can say it with a straight face. That's some good acting.

The gall this guy has to accuse Democrats of spending too much money.

He is such a fucking asshole, period. 13 more months of this bullshit (if he leaves office).

December 3, 2007 at 12:24 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

PoliShifter: Yeah, talk about penny wise and pound foolish. Cutting money for police and fire departments and port security, while we're spending trillions to invade and occupy other countries. I hope we can last out these 13 months.

December 3, 2007 at 1:13 PM  
Blogger Jolly Roger said...

There is no inconsistency here. I repeat, there is NO inconsistency.

We noted the other day that Chimpy has been shorting local responders from day one. We noted in August of 2006 that the moronic monkey has not only dried up money to local responders, he's also taken away personnel and equipment badly needed by them in the event of any kind of a disaster, "tur" related or otherwise.

Would some mouth-breathing Chimpleton care to defend this?

December 3, 2007 at 2:11 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

I'm sure there'll be some rightwing bloggers who try to spin this in Bush's favor.

December 3, 2007 at 3:11 PM  
Blogger Lizzy said...

Do you ever get the feeling that the admin is doing all they can to bring about the end of days?

I know no other possible explanation.

December 3, 2007 at 9:31 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lizzy: Yup, I have that feeling. The fact that Dumbya spends trillions of our tax dollars on some fake "war on tur" doesn't ease the suspicion.

December 3, 2007 at 10:56 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Well, I feel better now. If Der Leader isn't worried about terrorism, then neither am I! Now where's my chips and weed....

December 4, 2007 at 4:56 AM  
Blogger Candace said...

BTW, everyone: Mary Ellen is hosting a live blog event during the NPR debate between Clinton and Obama this afternoon (Tuesday, Dec. 4th) at 2PM. She's at

December 4, 2007 at 6:23 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: I feel better too. I guess this means we can just hop on a plane and go anywhere we want without those annoying searches and delays. And Big Brother will no longer be snooping through our e-mail and phone records. Right???

Candace: Thanks for the info.

December 4, 2007 at 11:51 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

I'm with Lizzy on this one. I have been thinking since he got into office Bush has believed "God" has called on him to hasten Armageddon. I believe Bush views himself as some kind of prophet.

Bush once actually said "God" had called on him to "rid the world of evil". Because evil is a highly subjective term, and because it is often associated with religion, my hair nearly stands on end when I consider the ramifications of his statements, his belief system, his power grab, his temperament, and the way he is so incurious and already has his mind made up about EVERYTHING.

I think Bush is a lunatic. I also think that as the number of days in his term decreases, we will see his statements and possibly his behavior become more desperate, that these things will escalate.

If he leaves office, maybe we can repair our currently lousy relations with Russia. If he leaves office, maybe we can have a greater chance of peace in the Middle East. If he leaves office, maybe we can help the UN become stronger instead of trying to tear it down. If he leaves office, maybe we can get our country's signatures on the Kyoto accord.

IF he leaves office...

The man and his administration stand directly in the way of so much that is good. Of course, like evil, good is a subjective term too, I guess. Sigh....

December 4, 2007 at 3:15 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: Yeah, that's what makes everything so scary. Bush and the neocons want to rid the world of evil, and the Islamofascists want to rid the world of evil. Fundies of every religion probably want to wipe out everything they consider "evil." And they all have different definitions of "evil." All 6+ billion of us probably fall under somebody's definition of "evil." We're all doomed :)

December 4, 2007 at 3:46 PM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

It's crazy but there's a method to his madness. The places that taking Homeland Security funding away from will hurt most are the blue states like California and New York.

December 7, 2007 at 8:30 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mauigirl: Yes, there's a method all right. Blue states and urban areas -- the two things that GW Bush hates with a passion. Bush 41 used to do the same thing. He made a big show of reducing personnel at military bases, and it was always in a Democratic district. Shrewd and sleazy -- a Bush Family Tradition.

December 7, 2007 at 11:43 PM  

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