George W. Bush: “Terrorists? What Terrorists??”
It’s so weird, almost scary, when a person just snaps. When you see someone’s entire personality do a Big 180, it really stops you cold.
Imagine the double take you'd be doing if the most uptight, sanctimonious person you ever met was standing there with a big fat joint in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other, and yelling out “Heeyyy, if it feels good, DO IT! Yeeeaahhh!!!!”
Or picture some simpleminded loudmouth who drinks beer by the case and only talks about football and getting parts for his truck. Only here he is, sipping white wine and speaking softly about the differences between Emmanuel Kant and Arthur Schopenhauer.
Well folks, the President of the United States has just snapped. Seriously, he has SNAPPED!!!
For over six years, the sign of our times has been FEAR. Paranoia! The Enemy! Terrorists! Spy on your neighbors and report any suspicious activity. Keep an eye on that swarthy person over there. If we don’t fight them over there they’ll follow us over here!
But now — everything you know is wrong. Left is right and up is down. Our Wartime President isn't worried about terrorists any more. Nevermind.
Oh, don’t misunderstand. We’re still planning to attack Iran (and Syria and Venezuela if they don’t watch out) and we’ll still be in Iraq when our great-grandchildren have died of old age. The Patriot Act is bigger and better than ever. Habeas Corpus is still dead. We still need to torture prisoners because, well, you know the drill — there might be a ticking time bomb and yada yada yada. And we still want to know what books you're reading and every website you’ve ever visited and who that e-mail was from.
But: Bush wants to slash counterterrorism funding for police departments, firefighters and rescue departments across the country. He wants the funding reduced by more than half. Heellllooo!?!?!?!?!!! Earth to Dumbya!!
Homeland Security wants to provide $3.2 billion to states and cities for protection against terrorism. Bush wants to reduce that amount to $1.4 billion. Programs for port security and transit security are being eliminated completely. WTF??? Chimpy’s drinking problem must be getting worse.
Barbara Boxer (D-Calif.) said “This budget proposal is dead on arrival. This administration runs around the country scaring people and then when it comes to putting their money where their mouth is, they say ’sorry, the bank is closed.’ California’s ports carry over 47 percent of all goods imported into the United States. A terrorist attack at any of California’s ports could shut down our nation’s port system and result in a mind-boggling loss for our nation’s economy.”
Charles Schumer (D-NY) said: “To zero out essential Homeland Security programs which have more to do with protecting Americans and fighting the war on terror than much of the money spent in Iraq shows how warped and out of touch this administration’s priorities are.”
Peter King (R-NY) said Bush’s plan “goes totally in the wrong direction. This would be a very grave mistake, and I will do all I can to stop it.”
And even Bush’s Bitch said he would “urge the administration to reconsider this wrong-headed strategy.”
cross-posted at Bring It On!