Why Do We Have An Energy Crisis? It’s Those Goddamn F&!%$#%!$ Treehuggers!!
How can we get gasoline back down to 32 cents a gallon? By drilling, drilling and more drilling. We have trillions and quatrabazillions of barrels of oil right under our feet, and it’s just sitting there.
National parks, national forests, wildlife sanctuaries, oceans — guess what’s underneath all those things? OIL! And we need it! NOW! And if it weren’t for those navel-gazing nature-worshipping PETA flag-burners, we’d have it. It’s all THEIR fault that gas is almost $5 a gallon and the economy is imploding.
According to this survey, 74% of likely voters actually believe the above bullshit. WTF??? Has American education really plummeted that far? Is somebody putting Stupid Pills in our drinking water? The term “critical thinking” is now officially an oxymoron.
No, the energy crisis has nothing to do with supplies and prices being manipulated by the international oil cartel. Energy speculators, you say? Bah! You’re just engaging in class warfare. Commie!
Undoubtedly the oil companies were anticipating — correctly! — that if they drove up the price of oil high enough, the American public would
And those survey respondents were likely voters?!?!?!? Aren’t there some sort of minimal requirements for being able to vote? If those people are really that gullible, somebody should direct them to the nearest outhouse and tell them it’s the voting booth. “To find the voting lever, lift up the lid and reach waaaay down…”
There probably isn’t a truth-in-labeling law for American currency, but why don’t we be honest with ourselves. It’s time to scrape off that “e pluribus unum” nonsense and replace it with the true voice of the American public: “DUUUHHH!!!”
cross-posted at Bring It On!