Who Hijacked Our Country

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Attention Wal-Mart Employees: Vote Republican Or Else!

Memo from Management to All Employees:

Your home, your family and your livelihood are riding on the election this November. If George W. Bush doesn’t get elected to a third term (through his Significant Other), everything we’ve worked for will be lost.

If Barack Saddam Hussein Osama gets into the White House, he will force you to join one of those communist Labor Unions!

Of course it’s tempting. The Devil is always using Temptation to seduce the innocent and unwary. And what could be more tempting than higher wages, medical benefits for your loved ones, and a pension? But it’s a trap! Be strong!

We pay you rock bottom wages and treat you like shit Because We Care. By paying you shitty wages and not providing any medical benefits, we’re enabling you to keep your job. We're all you've got, Loser! And just what the hell is wrong with the emergency room anyway, you Fuckin’ Whiner? It’s good enough for your co-workers. Get used to it!

If you lowlifes are allowed to form a union, we’ll be forced to pay you a livable wage and provide medical benefits. And weeee doooooon’t waaaaaant tooooo!!!!! Instead, we’ll just have to eliminate millions of jobs, including yours. This will allow us to continue serving your community and to provide a better workplace for our associates.

So remember: if that union-coddling flagburner gets elected — You’re Fired!

Remember, our Associates are Wal-Mart's most valuable asset. We're all family here.

All right, quit staring at this page and get back to work you no-good sack of pus.

Thank you.

The Management



Blogger American Hill BIlly said...

I read that article. It is absolutely shameful. They conditioned these people through religion, and now it is direct threats to the remaining jobs. It is pathetic to realize that OUR once Land of the Free, and Home of the Brave, is now filled with not so Free Sheeple!!

Peace and Freedom

August 2, 2008 at 10:07 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

I absolutely love their commercials that exhort us to live better by shopping there.

"Hey kids, let's go buy some lead put together by children younger than you making in a day what I make in ten minutes! Woo!"

August 2, 2008 at 10:25 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

AHB: That's right, religion and fear of being fired -- those are the two biggest motivational forces. How sad is that.

Randal: Hmmm, lead toys put together by toddlers, and don't forget the cat food made from contaminated wheat gluten. Sounds like the place to shop. I'm there.

August 2, 2008 at 10:32 AM  
Blogger Mile High Pixie said...

Adam Smith, the founder of capitalism, once wrote that guilds (or unions) were not necessary if you treat your employees right. Funny Wal-Mart doesn't seem to understand that very simple concept. When Barbara Ehrenreich worked at Wal-Mart for her book "Nickled and Dimed," she actually had to watch a video that warned employees against joining for forming a union, though the only word missing from the video was the U-Word.

August 2, 2008 at 2:03 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

MHP: Good quote from Adam Smith. So many cutthroat everyone-for-himself capitalists quote him, without knowing that he was more two-sided than that.

I keep meaning to check out that book by Barbara Ehrenreich, where she spent a year or 2 working at all these minimum wage jobs and wrote about the conditions, how she was treated, etc. That book was really hated among rightwingers, probably because it's "class warfare" or whatever their current soundbite is.

August 2, 2008 at 3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


It's a lot bigger then WalMart Unions have seen their membership shrink over the years and in many cases it was their own fault. Too many crooked mob collected leaders, black fridays and corporate PR had given them a bad name. Unions need to concentrate on those states that made it easier not to join a Union and push some real reform on Labor, Safety and Finance Laws.

Have real Labor commissions with Teeth.

Actually WalMart get's most of it's money from extorting vendors for special prices and local governments for tax breaks.


August 2, 2008 at 3:56 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: True, unions are corrupt and power-crazy. But their overall membership has shrunk to a dangerously low level. They do serve a purpose, and I think the option of joining a union would be a great thing for employees at Wal-Mart and other similar places.

I've heard that same thing, that Wal-Mart screws over local vendors all the time, and they extort money and tax breaks from communities where they locate. And of course if a town doesn't want Wal-Mart to build there, Wal-Mart will sue or find some other way to get even.

August 2, 2008 at 7:00 PM  
Blogger American Hill BIlly said...

I worked in the IBEW many moons ago. I started out my career learning from a real pig. He showed me the ropes; open shop ropes. I put up with his crap through high school.

I passed My Master Electrical exam at age 23. I was trying to see the light of day; the best I could, and then a IBEW "Salt" befriended me.

I learned, and the little time I continued in the trade was Union, and the best time, money, and only insurance I ever had.

It went from little corporate snitches earning squat to friends that worked hard, and only wanted to put their time in, and go home. Possibly even invite you over for a Bar b Q.

Peace and Freedom

August 2, 2008 at 7:14 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

AHB: Sounds like joining the union really improved everything for you. Unfortunately the trend seems to be going in the opposite direction now. Well-paid union workers are giving way to those "little corporate snitches" you were talking about. Hopefully we can reverse this.

August 2, 2008 at 8:35 PM  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

I signed that petition. Fucking Wal-Mart, it's a cancer.

August 3, 2008 at 11:30 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Enemy: Yup, a cancer is exactly what Wal-Mart is. And millions of people keep feeding it every time they go shopping there.

August 3, 2008 at 12:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you read "Nickel and Dimed" by Barbara Ehrenreich about the uphill battle of working jobs like WalMart you'll see how they institutionalized among other things the practice of grabbing employees before they've punched in or after they've punched out and squeezing 15 extra minutes of work out of them. The author saw this trick pulled and it was shown in court that the company encouraged the practice in management memos. Is it any surprise that they tell people where their vote should go too ? I am so sick of 20 something and 30 somethings who resent and hate unions because people like Rush and OReilly and Hannity have told them unions are unnecessary and bad for business. If I didn't have one I'd be threatened and blackmailed every year to keep my job. I know people who do my job without a union and they always get screwed. All unions have their warts but unless you own the company join one.

August 5, 2008 at 12:23 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Justice4Claire: At an office where I used to work, the department next door used to pull that exact same shit you're talking about. People weren't allowed to work any overtime but they had certain tasks that HAD to be completed by a certain time, or else. These people were coming in early, staying late, working through their lunch hours -- whatever they had to do to get their quotas filled. And they did it all without getting paid for any overtime. I don't know how their bosses got away with it.

They weren't union, as you probably guessed. I wasn't either; I just lucked out and had more reasonable supervisors and managers.

It's true, a lot of younger people, and people in higher-up positions, think unions aren't necessary any more. As their salaries and benefits start oozing away, they'll realize (too late) that unions served a purpose after all.

August 5, 2008 at 1:21 AM  
Blogger DivaJood said...

Wait. I thought illegal aliens were not allowed to vote?

August 5, 2008 at 4:43 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

DivaJood: Good point. You nailed them.

August 5, 2008 at 6:33 PM  

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