Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

If Your IQ is Lower Than Your Shoe Size — Sign This Petition

Every time you think there couldn’t possibly be a cheaper, more useless stunt, some mouthbreathing rightwad will come up with one. And then when you think “come on, nobody’s dumb enough to believe this,” thousands of knuckledraggers come slithering out to prove you wrong.

Are you ready for this? Some douchebag has started an online petition to call Congress back from their 5-week summer recess so that Exxon's prostitutes can force a vote on offshore drilling. Riiight, that’s gonna happen.

Never mind that the above-mentioned hookers have just defeated a bill that would require oil companies to drill on some of the 68 million acres that they’re already leasing. They also defeated a bill that would have extended tax credits for renewable energy development; these tax credits will now expire at the end of this year.

Another bill that just got defeated (yes, by the same Republican skanks again) would have made the trading process more open and transparent, so regulators could see if speculators were driving up oil prices. If speculators are doing nothing shady or illegal, then they shouldn’t have had anything to fear from this bill.

And Bush-hugging McCain thinks it’s hilarious to even mention checking your tire pressure and getting regular tune-ups for better gas mileage. Never mind that doing those two simple things will improve your gas mileage and save you money right NOW, not ten years from now.

Nope. If your family tree has no branches, and you find yourself getting lost in a one-room apartment, then YOU think drilling for oil in environmentally-protected areas is the ONLY way to bring down gas prices. And Simple John McPander and his fellow wingtards have just the gimmick for you.

This online petition drive was started by a rightwing Political Action Committee, Cantor For Congress. As in Eric Cantor, who seems most likely to be McSame’s vice presidential nominee. Talk about birds of a feather…

As of this writing, this retarded petition has over sixteen thousand signatures, and it just started two days ago. I didn’t know that many neckdroolers could operate a computer.

Some of those signatures are probably bogus. If you type any nonsensical word into the first and last name fields, and a fake e-mail address, you get a “Thank You For Signing” message. Er, ahem, not that I would have any first-hand knowledge of this, or anything…

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Blogger Randal Graves said...

Rule of law! Rule of law! Rule of law!

Oh, sorry, I'm getting my faux Republican outrages mixed up.

Everyone knows that renewables are for effete, latte-swilling homersexuals. Like Obama.

August 6, 2008 at 5:57 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: Goddamn right. Real men drill for oil in protected areas, and keep drilling and drilling until they've killed a bunch of endangered animals and maybe even found some oil.

August 6, 2008 at 10:00 AM  
Blogger DivaJood said...

You mean, Daffy Duck is NOT a registered voter?

August 6, 2008 at 11:09 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

DivaJood: Daffy Duck is probably smarter than a lot of real voters, judging by who we've got in the White House.

August 6, 2008 at 11:24 AM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Oil went down to $121 and change per barrel this week. That was the lowest closing price since May 5. Media business writers attributed the big price drop to a tropical storm's course and a variety of other things.

Not being a business writer, I have another likely reason for the lower price: political calculation.

Republicans run the gravy train Big Oil and the financial/investement industries have been riding in style since Bush and Cheney's first weeks in the White House. These big-money interests have billion$ of reasons to want to keep that train on the track.

After Sen. Flip-flop McPander did a 180 on offshore drilling, those oh-so-special interests couldn't stuff money into his campaign fast enough. It looks to me as if they've looked at McCain and concluded he really might be Bush 44, if only he can get elected. And, I suspect they've concluded that what with hiring a bunch of Rove disciples and other lowlifes to run his campaign, McCain really is serious about winning.

So, after thinking all was lost, Big Oil and the financials decided to make the gamble and back McCain.

They also decided that instead of gouging the public for every buck they can, while the getting is still good, it makes more sense to ease off for awhile and help get McCain elected. That, and they're probably getting nervous about the falloff in demand.

I can't prove this, but it's certainly plausible.

August 6, 2008 at 11:50 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: I'm afraid you're probably right about why oil prices have fallen. In my naiveté (sp?) I was thinking it was because of reduced driving, market forces and all that.

But the "free market" doesn't explain why gas prices skyrocketed so quickly this past Spring (and in previous energy crises). To some extent the oil industry has to be manipulating this, and they're undoubtedly going to do whatever they possibly can to get Bush44/McPander in the White House.

August 6, 2008 at 1:28 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

It's tempting to sign that petition as Dumbshitticus McNerdlington, but then it might get counted and that might push the petition on to greater heights.

August 6, 2008 at 5:00 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: True, that could backfire. Depends on who sees the final tally of the signatures. If it's a Republican, they'd probably think, "Dumbshitticus McNerdlington, OK, that sounds valid."

August 6, 2008 at 6:44 PM  
Blogger Carlos said...

Jesus. What a fucking dumbass. Online petitions are laughable; this one is pathetic. So is the grammar on the page. I signed the petition as Mr. Fuck You – YouAreAnAss@home.com.

What all these lock-step, zombie, knuckle-dragging, right-wing dumbasses are forgetting is that it was their fearless leaders who caused the fucking high petroleum prices to begin with (Ira-cough-q). Are these guys that fucking stupid and blind? (That was a rhetorical question, by the way).

Dumbasses In Government

August 7, 2008 at 3:34 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: I can't get over how much chutzpah these Republican politicians have, or how many dumbshits there are who actually believe them. Like you say, Bush and his drones have caused most of this. Tax cuts for the wealthiest 1% of the population, huge tax breaks and subsidies for the oil industry and none for renewable energy, tax breaks for companies that outsource their jobs to China and India -- and now all of a sudden Republicans are feeling the pain of middle class and working class families. Riiight.

That's like Marie Antoinette being shocked and devestated to find out that there are poor people living in the streets and fighting over scraps of bread.

August 7, 2008 at 10:32 AM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

McCavein also wanted his trollop cunt (his words) of a wife to participate in the topless biker beauty contest.

Johnny's always a class act, no matter what the situation is. He's a lot like his monkey that way.

August 7, 2008 at 10:51 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

JR: Yeah, I couldn't believe his stunt in Sturgis, SD with those bikers. It figures though.

August 7, 2008 at 11:50 AM  
Blogger American Hill BIlly said...

S.W. Anderson has it right on the money with election time.

The part of the family that lost production are snobs any ways, so I could care less. My point on the last post is that we tax payers are paying for all that unused land monthly to people who have the oil rights.

Another note. My brother worked for the EPA doing oil well site inspections. The day he quit was the day he shut 20 Mom, and Pops down, and then his boss gave Exxon/Mobil a get out jail free card on the same day. Exxon/Mobils leak was more than a leak it was actually in the ground water, and my brother's EPA Boss took their word regarding, they'd Fix it???? WTF WTF??? Not even a written warning, yet 20 other people were shut down?
He turned his resignation in the next day.

He liked the job because so many days of the week he got to fly over, and do aerial "recon". What he didn't like was after that was ticket, and closure day.
Peace and Freedom

August 7, 2008 at 2:17 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

AHB: You're right about what a deal the oil companies are getting with those leases. I read somewhere else how much the big companies are paying per acre for those leases. I thought cattle ranchers were getting a good deal from taxpayers with the millions of acres they're using for practically nothing (courtesy of us taxpayers). I think Big Oil is getting an even better deal. We pay through the nose for their products and then we give them our tax dollars too. What's not to like.

August 7, 2008 at 2:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sure these are all the Republicans who didn't get the invite to Bohemian Grove this summer. They're just pissed off they don't get to prance around naked with the leaders of the corpocracy.

August 7, 2008 at 7:38 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ron: Nope, no invite to Bohemian Grove. They're just waiting around for the Rapture, and in the meantime they want to destroy as much of the environment as they can until that magic moment arrives.

August 7, 2008 at 10:30 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

"If it's a Republican, they'd probably think, 'Dumbshitticus McNerdlington, OK, that sounds valid.'"

And even if it didn't sound valid, no problem. Remember, they make their own reality.

August 7, 2008 at 11:00 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: That's true, they do make their own reality. When they use a word it means exactly what they want it to mean (or whatever that Alice In Wonderland phrase is). Must be nice to live in a bubble.

August 7, 2008 at 11:05 PM  

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