Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, September 04, 2008

And Jesus Said: “Invade Those Swarthy Motherfuckers”

Three months ago, Sarah Palin was reveling in the glory of our 21st Century Crusade in the Middle East. She was speaking to a group of ministry students at the Wasilla Assembly of God. Iraqmire is “a task from God,” she said.

“Our national leaders are sending them out on a task that is from God. That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that plan is God's plan.”

I haven’t looked for the video of her speech but it’s supposed to be available at the Wasilla Assembly of God website (among other places).

She also told the ministry students that she wanted to “strike a deal” with them. While they spewed hatred and venom preached the love of Jesus throughout Alaska, she would work to implement God’s Will from the governor’s office.

In addition to conquering those slimy Moslems, God’s Will also includes building a pipeline to bring North Slope natural gas to American markets. “God's will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built, so pray for that.”

I can't remember which part of the Bible it was from, but who could forget that stirring passage where Jesus said: “Get those fuckin’ trees and animals out of the way and build that Goddamn pipeline. NOW, Asshole!”

cross-posted at Bring It On!

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Blogger Randal Graves said...

Warmth=Oil pipelines.
Oil pipelines=love=Jesus=Yahweh.

See? Piece o' cake.

September 4, 2008 at 10:53 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: It's all so clear now. Jesus says Drill Baby Drill.

September 4, 2008 at 12:55 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

I believe, if my schooling hasn't failed me, that Jesus was one swarthy motherfucker himself.

September 4, 2008 at 5:53 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lew: Indeed he was. But try telling that to the wingtards. They'll swear up and down that he had blonde hair and blue eyes.

September 4, 2008 at 6:21 PM  
Blogger rockync said...

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

September 4, 2008 at 7:12 PM  
Blogger Mile High Pixie said...

Gawd. I'm so blown away by all the stuff that's coming out about this woman. Who cares about her baby or four kids, what with all the junk about being for "earmarked funds" and then against them all of a sudden, or TrooperGate, or for the love of Gawd, she was mayor of a town of fewer that 10,000 people and then governor of a state with fewer people than the capitol city of my state (Colorado), and how is that "more experience", exactly? And she had the gall to try to even play that game during her speech, to paint herself as "more experienced?" Maybe at being petty, but not at actual governing. I've yet to be impressed.

Oh, and while no one wants to take swipes at her personal life, it's hard not to when a member of the "abstinence only" education party is having to throw a shotgun wedding for her 17-year-old daughter.

September 4, 2008 at 7:25 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

And that He never, ever had sex or took a shit.

September 4, 2008 at 8:28 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Rockync: I've always liked that saying; I forgot that it was Ghandi who said it.

MHP: I personally don't care about her family situation either. But since she's part of that judgmental "family values" crowd, it's inevitable for their own fire and brimstone to be turned back on them. And she sure has a lot of scandals. Troopergate, and librarygate (she tried to force the town librarian to ban certain books, and when the librarian refused, Palin tried to get her fired), among others.

I only watched a few clips of her speech on the news last night. That was just repulsive -- one meaningless soundbite after another, and the crowd just eating it up. But that's OK; she's not gonna make it to the White House by just preaching to the choir.

Snave: The Son of God doing the nasty, or taking a shit -- LOL.

September 4, 2008 at 11:01 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

randal, LOL, that's a wickedly clever comment. I love it.

On a more serious note — because the possibility of the pork princess becoming one heartbeat from the presidency is a clear and present danger — I'm reminded of something Lincoln said.

"With firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right."

Lincoln understood something Palin (Bush too) is obviously ignorant of. Christian faith teaches that God gives us volition, or the individual power to choose between good and bad, and right and wrong. He doesn't push or program us to do His will, but rather provides us the tools to choose right over wrong. From there it's up to us.

It seems to be a characteristic of the ignorant and dogmatic that they fear their own ability to get it right and to support what they want to do with facts and logic. So they resort to insisting everyone should do what they want to do because it's really what God intends.

Lincoln didn't do that. Quite the opposite. With humility, Lincoln alluded to our volition and our human imperfection, both in deciding how to proceed and in understanding God and what God wants — ". . .as God gives us to see the right."

September 4, 2008 at 11:43 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: That sounds like a good interpretation. It's certainly a far cry from the simple dogma that too many mindless followers fall back on.

September 5, 2008 at 1:01 AM  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

I haven't had the stomach yet to hear her convention speech, but I do look forward to her mission from God one. Apparently it has been pulled from the web--free speech my ass. Thanks for that link--I told folks to read it.

What a fucking mess this country is!

September 5, 2008 at 4:02 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Enemy: Yeah, I read that whoever is in charge of the church's website claimed that the site couldn't handle all the traffic it was getting, so that was why they pulled the video. I'm sure.

September 5, 2008 at 9:27 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

Sure, the church probably doesn't want their candidate to get Left Behind in this election, so they will see that she is Saved from any messy situations. When her candidacy was Born, Again I felt disgust. In her mind, when it comes to who Jesus Loves, You aren't the one.

Good grief, I hope the public doesn't get pulled in any further by all this fakey Little House on the Alaskan Prairie fundamentalist religious bullshit.

September 6, 2008 at 9:06 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: That church probably did a smart move, for Palin and their own credibility, to pull that video from their website. Not all ministers are gung ho about the culture wars and fire and brimstone and all that, and that church could get pulled into the thick of it whether they want to or not.

Little House on the Prairie, LOL, I almost forgot about that show. I never watched it, I just remember hearing about it a lot during the '70s.

September 6, 2008 at 9:48 PM  

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