Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Being Sarah Palin

Hat Tip to Ken Grandlund (here and here).

Why should Mooselini have all the fun? Now, YOU can talk just like her.

No longer do you have to wait for her next interview to be leaked out in dribs and drabs. Whenever you start craving some Sarah-tainment, just click here, sit back and enjoy.

It’s your very own Sarah Palin Quote Generator™.

When she becomes Vice President, just think how she’ll dazzle everybody with her unique way of, well, you know, like about the importance of the economy and educating today’s children for tomorrow’s employers and lowering taxes and developing energy sources and churchgoing values for freedom that John McCain said.

It’s always been Dumbya’s trademark to mangle individual words — especially them big ones with more than one syllable. Sarahpoleon’s unique talent, on the other hand, is to take several keywords and string them together into one long incoherent non sequitur, and then hope and pray that her rambling non-answer actually touched on the question that was asked.

Hope you'll bookmark this site and forward it to your friends. Just imagine if everyone started going around talking about prosperity for all Americans and shooting a moose brings you closer to Jesus so freedom in the Middle East that patriotic Americans will again be proud to work hard.



Blogger Ricardo said...

God told her to shoot the moose and say those things.

October 1, 2008 at 3:39 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ricardo: God is also telling her to poison John McCain, become president and then bring Jesus to all those pagan countries in Africa and Asia.

October 1, 2008 at 3:44 PM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Oh great, yet another time waster for work. You really want us to further destroy the American economy, don't you.

October 1, 2008 at 3:56 PM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

god is also telling her to start a war with Russia so the rapture will come about faster.

But seriously,

Her pastor belives that alaska would be a final place of refuge and they have to be ready for it. Was standing next to him nodding yes. A bit different from the Rev.Wright and Obama drama. She was actually there for this.

October 1, 2008 at 4:55 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

Palin's answers are like freedom to defend our liberty to drill now for God's own plan that maverickal Washington outsiders can change the tax cuts because the economy is fundamentally sound.

October 1, 2008 at 6:37 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Randal: All right, yer busted. Get back to work :)

Ricardo: Ah yes, the Rapture. The world will be a better place after those Bible fanatics have all been whisked up to Heaven.

Lew: There you go, you're getting the hang of it.

October 1, 2008 at 6:45 PM  
Blogger Miss Kitty said...

Tom, I [heart] you. This post made me do a spit-take.

October 1, 2008 at 7:07 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Miss Kitty: Thanks. If Palin gets elected, think of how much fodder she'll provide for jokes.

October 1, 2008 at 7:44 PM  
Blogger Carlos said...

Funny. Clickin through that quote generator was like watchin a segment of the Katie Couric/Palin interviews.

October 2, 2008 at 3:01 AM  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

I forgot all about the debate because of this vote. I need some comic relief.

October 2, 2008 at 7:43 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: That's what's scary about this. Those fake quotes look almost like the statements she's actually made in interviews.

Enemy: Good old comic relief; we'll always have that no matter what happens.

October 2, 2008 at 11:01 AM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

What Palin does when cornered with a serious question has a lot in common with rap. If this one-heartbeat-from-becoming-president gig doesn't work out, she might be able to transition to a rap-music career.

I can see middle-aged Bush's base types cruising to the mall with Sarah-Rap blaring from the car stereo, as she belts it out about seeing Russia from her house, trillions of cubic feet of natural gas, reading whatever's in front of her and telling the world Alaska is really cool. Or cold, maybe.


October 2, 2008 at 12:26 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: Alaskan rappers could be the hottest new trend. First we had Ted Stevens' techno-rap video about the Internet being a series of tubes.

And now Sarah-Rap: "A Task from God, Yo!"

October 2, 2008 at 2:15 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

She is very good at like, uh, talking about things, and stuff like that.

October 2, 2008 at 3:49 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

And by the way...

"It is for no more politics as usual and who were predator lenders to look at that as more opportunity."

True Words of WisDumb for our modern times! Thanks for the link, Tom!

October 2, 2008 at 3:51 PM  
Blogger Maria and Family said...

I enjoy your posts and humor :)


October 2, 2008 at 9:16 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: I was hoping she'd talk like that at tonight's debate. I guess all that sequestering and coaching worked. Dammit! But at least Biden didn't do any gaffes either. The debate probably didn't change anybody's mind, which is OK since Obama has a pretty good lead right now (knock wood).

Maria: Thanks.

October 2, 2008 at 10:56 PM  
Anonymous cathy said...

the fact is, pretty much everything both palin AND biden said and "quoted" from the presidential candidates were lies and exagerations. it's clear to me one is no better than the other. palin was obviously scripted and biden was predictable.

October 3, 2008 at 7:38 AM  
Blogger Irish cousin said...

So glad to hear the real America. You people are the salt. Palin makes the knees knock around Europe. I'm trying to think of scarier women. I can't. She makes Margaret Thatcher look like Elmo. I'd be hard pressed to think of a scarier man without having to go back to the Crusades.
Anyhow, hope you don't mind me sticking my nose in.
No matter what happens between now and the election, no matter how much of a foregone conclusion it is where you live, every one of your votes count with us.

October 3, 2008 at 8:41 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Cathy: I think they both just treaded water. They both did the distortions and fingerpointing that candidates do, but there didn't seem to be any real gaffes. I doubt if the debate had any effect on the race one way or the other.

Irish Cousin: Welcome. I'm sure the world is watching this election campaign, dreading the possibility of those two wackos getting elected. At least Thatcher was knowledgeable and didn't talk like a cheerleader. This could almost turn into another Crusades if McCain and Palin get elected.

October 3, 2008 at 9:39 AM  
Blogger Candace said...

She did manage to mangle "nuclear."

It was "nu-cu-ler."


October 4, 2008 at 6:00 PM  
Blogger American Hill BIlly said...

Yep, she is disgusting. I know your in the area to see the majestic nature, existing here. Palin is a freak, and is full of misguiding ways.

The debates the other night were a joke, and I definitely think Ole' Sara will help bring about her religious idea of Armageddon.

United In Peace And Freedom

October 4, 2008 at 6:17 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Candace: By now it's probably mandatory for Republicans to say "nu-cu-ler." Otherwise they'll be accused of being elitists.

AHB: If Palin gets in the White House, she'll do her best to bring all of us to her Christian Paradise.

October 4, 2008 at 6:49 PM  

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