Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Bobby Jindal Saves The Day

Like millions of other desperate Americans yearning to be rescued by the government, I got swept up by Obama’s speech last night. Snake oil never sounded so appealing. Those well-intentioned-but-fuzzy-headed Democrats would once again tax and spend their way out of trouble. A big smothering nanny state would step in and save us.

But fortunately — before I completely disappeared into a cloud of euphoria — Bobby Jindal stepped up and brought everything into focus. Never before has such a big complicated issue been so clarified and crystallized by a folksy little anecdote.

In case you missed Bobby’s quaint little fireside chat, here’s the story:

During the post-Katrina flooding in New Orleans, hundreds of volunteers were champing at the bit to get out there in their boats and rescue those victims who were stranded on their rooftops. Ah, a happy ending. But Noooo!!! Some fatass bumbling government bureaucrat came barging in and kyboshed the whole operation. Seems none of these boat-owners would be allowed to go on their rescue mission unless they could show proof-of-insurance papers.

Those Goddamn F$#!%&!$# Meddling Bureaucrats!

And suddenly, I realized. I saw the light. Bobby Jindal spelled it out for me, and I finally got it.

These irresponsible free-spending Democrats won’t solve our problems with more government. Government is the PROBLEM, not the solution. The economy has been strangled by all these cumbersome intrusive government regulations. It’s time for the private sector to step in and take the initiative. And in order for this to happen, those bumbling government meddlers have to get the hell out of the way. NOW! All we need is the invisible hand of the marketplace.

Get the government off our backs. Prosperity is just around the corner.

cross-posted at Bring It On!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. Well said!

Unfortunately though, a message not heard, or understood enough.

February 25, 2009 at 3:01 PM  
Anonymous Carlos Scarpero said...

I agree. I liked Jindal's speech and although the delivery wasn't great, the message was spot on.

Of course, the media hates him, but that's not surprising.

February 25, 2009 at 4:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

BWAAAHAHAHAHA! That was funny!

Oh,you're serious? Oh..oh...that's different. Nevermind.

February 25, 2009 at 4:23 PM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

Government IS the problem...when Republicans are in charge.

I thought Jindal sounded like a cross between Barney Fife and the kid from Slumdog Millionaire.

February 25, 2009 at 6:17 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

J: I couldn't believe all the tired rightwing slogans Jindal kept regurgitating. You would've thought it was 1980 and we hadn't yet had 29 years of deficits, undeclared wars and corporate bailouts.

Barney Fife, LOL, and maybe a little bit of Pat Paulsen thrown in too.

February 25, 2009 at 7:44 PM  
Blogger Generik said...

Looks like Carlos there has a hard time spotting sarcasm.

Well, I guess that's to be expected from someone who thought Jindal's ridiculously tone-deaf speech was "spot on."

February 25, 2009 at 7:49 PM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

Tom- that's what Reagan babies do. That's all they can do.

February 25, 2009 at 8:52 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Generik: What's this "sarcasm" you speak of? I've seen the error of my ways and I now support individual liberty and limited government :)

J: Right, I guess that's what Reagan babies are limited to.

February 26, 2009 at 12:02 AM  
Blogger DB said...

What ever happened to the conservative "philosophy" of saying what is right rather than what is popular? Jindal used this opportunity to run for President and said what the base wanted to hear. Oh, and he failed miserably. What a clown.

February 26, 2009 at 12:25 AM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Here's a true post-Katrina story I'd like to confront Jindal with.

When New Orleans people were trapped on rooftops and dying in their attics, a group of Florida swamp buggy owners, about 14-18 of them, as I recall, got together to buy fuel and supplies, and announced their intention to cross the Gulf to assist in the New Orleans rescue effort.

Note that this private, ad hoc group put up their own money and time for this volunteer effort.

However, the group needed Coast Guard clearance to enter the emergency zone. The Bush administration ordered the Coast Guard to deny that clearance.

Why? Incompetence? Indiffence? Some bizarre political angle? Bush's perverse streak?

You tell me, because to this day I still don't understand it.

February 26, 2009 at 12:37 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

There you go again.

Mock Saint Ronnie all you want, but who defeated communism with one hand tied behind his back?

Yeah, that's right, pinkos.

February 26, 2009 at 6:16 AM  
Blogger Mauigirl said...

Good one, Tom. And it is amusing that some of the commenters took you seriously. Guess they don't usually stop by here or they'd know better!

February 26, 2009 at 7:43 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

I thought Jindal did a fantastic job explaining how the post-Katrina fiasco was absolutely not a Bush administration problem but rather a problem of the federal government itself... even a problem generated by the mere CONCEPT of government!

When there is an emergency or disaster of that magnitude requiring immediate attention and MONEY, the government should always wait to act while the anti-tax people ponder whether or not we can afford to respond. And while the decision-makers wring their hands over whether or not taking action will end up raising peoples' taxes, the suffering people are certainly able to fend for themselves, find their own food, find shelter, etc. That's the American can-do spirit, just like Obama talked about, right?

From Jindal's standpoint, if we just let things happen without any interference, those things will take care of themselves. It as a highly proactive approach. It may take things a while to return to normal, but there is the invisible hand and all that stuff. Reagan proved it, Bush I proved it, and Bush II proved it.

Heck, just look at our nation's economy! It has recovered in the past without needing any larded-up Democratic programs, right? Just look at the Great Depression! We didn't have to ask for any government help to get out of that mess, so why do we need such help now?

Now Mr. Jindal can go and enjoy Mardi Gras or whatever, knowing he has set the country straight.

February 26, 2009 at 11:36 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

DB: Good point. According to the talking points, Bill Clinton was "poll-driven" and Bush always did what he felt was "right," even though he knew the liberal media would slander him for doing the right thing. I guess the Right is looking for some new talking points now.

SW: That's an appalling, sick story. I remember reading about incidents like that during and after Katrina. But if you confronted Republicans with it, they'd say either "you're suffering from Bush Derangement Syndrome" and/or "it's time to quit wallowing in the past and move forward and help solve America's problems."

Randal: No no, he had both hands tied behind his back. All he had to do was tilt his head to one side, say "well..." and those commies just collapsed in a heap of blubbering sputtering terror.

Mauigirl: This sometimes happens, people not catching the sarcasm. Both sides have done this; I've been called a wingnut and a redneck by liberals who didn't figure out I was joking.

Snave: That's right! The top priority is making sure our taxes won't go up as a result of helping those needy whiners. The invisible hand of the marketplace will solve everything, if we just give it time. And just think of the pride and satisfaction these needy people will ultimately feel, knowing that they were able to help themselves and pull themselves up by their bootstraps, instead of just lying there waiting for a handout :)

February 26, 2009 at 12:41 PM  
Anonymous Screamin' Mimi said...

No, no, Mr. Harper. The TOP priority is and has always been the Hommasexial Agenda. So this will have to be #2 (pun intended).

Thanks, as always, for your mordant wit -- a bright spot in this world.

February 26, 2009 at 1:18 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SM: Thanks. And yes, we must never lose sight of Public Enemy #1 -- the Homosexual Agenda.

February 26, 2009 at 3:24 PM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

But simply giving more tax breaks to the rich will solve our problems, right? After all, look where it got us. There is nothing more aphalling then going to Madison CT and seeing my well to do "friends" piss and moan that Obama is sending them into the poor house and people like me are the problem. Pardon me, but I don't think so.

We are in a crisis here and these old stereotypes and modes of thought will get us all killed. Cutting taxes for the rich alone will not work.

And Bobby Jindal does a good job of taking care of Bobby Jindal. That's why he imploded the other night. Maybe if he concerned himself with helping the people in his state by using the stimulus money instead of playing politics with it, he'd get somewhere. I hope Louisiana is able to override his refusal because he's not doing it for anything noble.

Isn't it funny that all the governors refusing the stimulus money are mostly in the south with presidential aspirations? It's sick that they let their people twist in the wind for their own delusions.

February 26, 2009 at 5:01 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ricardo: So I guessed right; I thought that was Madison you were talking about at your site. It's too funny when people like that start talking about "hardship" or going to the poor house. It probably means a slight reduction in their caviar budget, or maybe firing one of their gardeners.

If only those middle class and working class people would quit whining and start pulling their own weight, the well-to-do could get on with their jetsetting without having to listen to all that moaning and wailing from the downtrodden :)

You're right, that mindset needs to change, or this country will be in a civil war that will make the French Revolution look tame.

February 26, 2009 at 6:51 PM  
Blogger Generik said...

You know what? I'm nearly at the point where I want a civil war that will make the French revolution look tame.

Eat the rich, and fuck the fucking Republicans!

Uh, with all due respect, of course.

All. Due. Respect.

February 26, 2009 at 8:54 PM  
Blogger Generik said...

Oh, and I just wanted to note that our friend Carlos seems to have deserted the forum here without taking a moment to defend his obtuse comments. Sorry, Carlos, intelligence is required here.

February 26, 2009 at 8:57 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Generik: After 8 years of Dumbya I was ready for a revolution or a Boston Tea Party or something. It seems more hopeful now, but things need to change. 28 years of "trickle down" hasn't done jack shit.

Carlos' website seems to be all about real estate.

February 27, 2009 at 2:17 AM  
Anonymous paul.malden said...

Jindal is a freak. He attended an excorcism. He changed his name to "bobby" because of bobby brady...yeah, THAT bobby brady. You can look it up.

February 27, 2009 at 8:00 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Paul: You mean from the Brady Bunch? That's what came up when I Googled the name. Maybe Eddie Haskell could be his running mate in 2012.

If Jindal and Palin are ever running mates, they could compare their exorcisms.

February 27, 2009 at 11:24 AM  
Blogger Carlos said...

Bobby Jindal is a Republican darling because he's about as close to black as someone can be without actually being black.

He's a dim wit like the rest of 'em. Same old tired rhetoric and talking out the sides of their mouths.

February 27, 2009 at 1:51 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: That's true, southern rednecks can have a token minority governor, and it ain't one of them shiftless colored folk :)

February 27, 2009 at 3:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anybody noticed Jindal said that his state lowered taxes 6 times?

He's only been in office a month....

This is JC Watts, all over again. GOP token and "storefront"

Both Jindal and Steele should realize that they are only where they are because Obama won otherwise nobody would pay attention to them.

If he does run, he going to find out Republicans (for all of their talk of change) hate diversity and he'll be lucky if he makes Palin's running mate


February 28, 2009 at 6:04 PM  
Blogger Miss Kitty said...

Tom, you make fun of the GOP better than anyone I know. :-)

March 2, 2009 at 5:36 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Miss Kitty: Thank you; that's the ultimate compliment.

March 2, 2009 at 11:38 AM  

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