Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Dick Cheney: “I’m Never Ever EVER Gonna Die! MWAAAHAAHAAHAAA”

Will somebody somewhere please drive a stake through his pacemaker. For eight years we’ve had to listen to this asshole’s paranoid psychotic retchings, and he still won’t leave.

The most corrupt, inept, unpopular administration EVER has finally left office, and the accidental president’s chief puppetmaster wants to keep hanging around so he can shit and vomit all over the new administration. Shut The Fuck Up! Go! Retire! Die! Whatever, just fuckin’ LEAVE!

Dickwad told an interviewer that there’s “a high probability” of a terrorist attack in the next few years, and it’ll be all because of that wimpy bleeding heart commie in the White House.

“When we get people who are more concerned about reading the rights to an Al Qaeda terrorist than they are with protecting the United States against people who are absolutely committed to do anything they can to kill Americans, then I worry.”

Tell you what, Buttwipe, why don’t you slink back into your secret cubbyhole and do your worrying there, M’Kay?

He also regurgitated the Right’s favorite talking point of the week — that a certain percentage of terrorists released from Gitmo have gone back to their terrorist ways. In other words we should’ve executed them, or just thrown the key away and let ‘em all rot for eternity. What’s this “due process” you speak of???

Come to think of it, a lot of common criminals go back to robbing and pillaging after they’ve been released from prison. That does it — Trial Schmial! Kill ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out!

WaterboardMan also said: “The United States needs to be not so much loved as it needs to be respected. Sometimes, that requires us to take actions that generate controversy.”

Yes, you could take foreign policy advice from the same douchebag who drove the country into bankruptcy, murdered 4,000 American soldiers and turned America into the most hated country in the world.

And you could take driving lessons from somebody who’s had thirty-seven car accidents and hundreds of traffic tickets.

There’s one thing that Cheney and his braindead supporters haven’t figured out: If Obama ever receives a memo titled “Osama bin Laden Determined To Strike In U.S.” — he’ll probably take the time to Fuckin’ READ IT! (Unlike his retarded predecessor.)

Now Go! Go gently into the night. And don’t let the crypt door hit you in the ass on your way back in.



Blogger Mauigirl said...

I know, doesn't it seem as if we may have to stick a stake through his heart to get rid of him????

Well said.

February 4, 2009 at 7:52 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mauigirl: Thanks. Yup, good riddance to him.

February 4, 2009 at 8:11 PM  
Anonymous Screamin' Mimi said...

What heart? You'd have to stick a stake through his Halliburton stock options or whatever it is that is his REAL driving force.

Please, just leave us alone. Even though you ruined our country, sold us out in every way possible, gave all the money to your friends, trashed our environment for generations to come -- just GO AWAY and let the grown-ups try to clean up your mess. Please.

February 4, 2009 at 9:11 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

TH understandably wrote: "Shut The Fuck Up! Go! Retire! Die! Whatever, just fuckin’ LEAVE!"

No need to be so diplomatic, Tom; tell us what you really think. :)

"Dickwad told an interviewer that there’s 'a high probability' of a terrorist attack in the next few years, and it’ll be all because of that wimpy bleeding heart commie in the White House."

This is very reassuring. It tells me the likelihood of a terrorist attack in the next few years is greatly reduced and that neocon crackpot crusaders like Cheney are worried sick that their "You better be very scared" tactic won't work any more.

February 4, 2009 at 10:09 PM  
Anonymous JollyRoger said...

How do you respect somebody who was so wet-spot scared that he had to go get himself 5 draft deferments? Respect? Nah-I have other priorities.

February 4, 2009 at 10:55 PM  
Blogger DB said...

He is such a douchebag. Talk about a fucking delusion if he honestly thinks they have made us any goddamn safer. Their talking points are all about the end justifying the means. We learn better than this is 3rd grade! (I blogged this too lol)

February 5, 2009 at 12:37 AM  
Anonymous Carlos said...

Good post. He and the political far-right have nothing new or productive to say or do, so they should just shut the fuck up.

If he's that concerned about terror being perpetrated on our citizens, why the fuck didn't he release every last person in prison for personal-use drug possession and leave the real crooks (murderers, child molesters, Madoffs, etc) in? His logic is as skewed as the smirk I'd like to slap off his face.

Fuck Cheney and his political ilk. They've done nothing but fuck us for eight years; it's time they sit down and shut the ever-livin' fuck up.

Sorry...just pisses me off :-)

February 5, 2009 at 2:58 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Does this mean we get to kill the BushCo war criminals without trial? Oh wait, they saved us from certain death. Nevermind.

This fucker was still being talked about on the tube this morning when I got into work.

Can we off the media, too?

February 5, 2009 at 6:19 AM  
Blogger rockync said...

I have absolutely nothing to ad to this discussion except that I agree with all of you and the sooner this evil asswipe crawls back under his rock, the better!

February 5, 2009 at 9:24 AM  
Anonymous Paul Malden said...

I HATE Dick Cheney...I can't put it any other way...I HATE, HATE, HATE him.

February 5, 2009 at 11:55 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SM: Yes, that would work even better. Drive a stake through his Halliburton stock options and you'll have the bloodcurdling scream heard 'round the world.

SW: I think that's exactly what the neocons are worried about. The Fear and Paranoia buttons aren't working any more. The one trick pony's single trick has been taken away.

JR: Ah yes, the good old 5-Deferment Guy. Too bad the rest of us can't get a deferment from having to listen to his bullshit.

DB: But don't you realize, we haven't had another terrorist attack since 9/11, and it's all because of BushCheney's brave decisive action. AKA the rooster taking credit for the sunrise.

Carlos: Good point about who should be in jail and who shouldn't. Spend all your resources going after pot-smokers while the bigtime criminals go free and the real problems go unsolved. That's neocon "logic" for you. It's definitely time for them to leave, and let us dig out from 8 years of shit they've dumped on us.

Randal: That's the trouble with using torture and eliminating due process. The people who were in favor of these tactics could end up being the victims of it. Being hoisted on your own petard, or whatever that saying is.

Rockync: Very well put.

Paul: Yup, that's the main emotion generated by that asshole.

February 5, 2009 at 1:45 PM  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Is he a werewolf or a vampire? Let's pick our monster archetype.

Sorry I've been AWOL. And I've noticed in my recent return that you've become more restrained and detached in your writing--I mean, Tom, don't sugar coat it, just speak your mind and don't hesitate to use harsh language! LMAO!

February 6, 2009 at 9:01 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Enemy: Thank you for your suggestion. OK, no more of these bland posts; no more sugar coating :)

February 6, 2009 at 2:29 PM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

will he just shut up. I saw this ridiculous interview. He's still trying to scare everyone to death and since he looks and acts like a movie villain he does the job well. Hopefully we won't get attacked again but If we do it won't be because we stopped waterboarding people. It's not that simple. but guys like this like to treat us like we're stupid so there you go.

February 9, 2009 at 11:54 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ricardo: Unfortunately a lot of people really are dumb enough to believe Cheney's bullshit. They're a minority, but there are millions of them. Cheney, Rush Limbaugh and all the other rightwing talking heads -- they have millions of fans that hang on every soundbite they spew out.

February 10, 2009 at 11:57 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who is actually listening to this man? If you're out there, show yourselves (assuming your flesh doesn't melt in sunlight). Shouldn't every American (insert any other nation name) notice how poisonous this man's blatherings are??!! I feel like I'm taking crazy pills here (courtesy Zoolander's Mugatu)! He's like some kind of Stephen King novel character - when does he actually turn into a serpent? He seems to have already mastered the penguin thing. I'm sure penguins around the world are extremely distressed by this.

December 1, 2009 at 7:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I hate Dick Cheney! I want to slap him right in the face.

May 20, 2012 at 3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck Dick Cheney. He fucked up more peoples' lives than any other politician.

May 20, 2012 at 3:27 PM  

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