Who Hijacked Our Country

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Prison-Industrial Complex Employee of the Quarter: Mark Kirk

Or, if you aren’t a member of the Prison-Industrial Complex, you’d probably nominate Congressman Mark Kirk (R-Illinois) for Shitstain of the Year.

With all of the overwhelming mind-numbing problems we’re facing — global financial meltdown, health insurance meltdown, being quagmired in two wars (or is it three now?) — what does Mark Kirk think our biggest problem is? You guessed it — Prison sentences are too lenient for people who smoke marijuana.

And Mark “Short Eyes” Kirk isn’t just talking the talk. He’s introducing legislation to require a 25-year prison sentence for anyone selling or “distributing” marijuana that has a THC content of 15% or higher. And this includes first time offenders.

If you’ve smoked marijuana before (fess up!), you know that most pot isn’t sold by a wicked drug kingpin who eats children and pets for breakfast. A joint gets passed around at a party. A friend asks you if you have a spare joint or two until tomorrow. That’s Distributing. Twenty-five years!

While you’re wondering how a U.S. Congressman could possibly be such a lowly pus-eating douchebag, here’s something else to ponder: He’s already been re-elected to Congress four times.

To paraphrase the Christian saying “hate the sin, not the sinner” — Don’t hate the douchebag in Congress. Hate the retarded slack-jawed vacant-eyed idiots who voted for him. These people give inbreeding a bad name.

If you’d like to e-mail Mark Kirk and tell him what you think of him, here’s how. Even if he can’t read, he probably has a staff member who can.

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Blogger The Rambling Taoist said...

Though I've never smoked a joint and personally I'm not a fan of this particular weed, the stuff should be legalized. It simply boggles my mind that here we are in the 21 century and Mary Jane still can't get a proper invite to the party!

If Tom Collins gets the red carpet treatment, Mary Jane should at least get to use the front door.

June 20, 2009 at 6:33 AM  
Blogger Ahma Daeus said...


Even if one does not ask or pretends not to see the rope and the flashing red flag draped around the philosophical question standing solemnly at attention in the middle of the room, it remains apparent that the mere presence of a private “for profit” driven prison business in our country undermines the U.S Constitution and subsequently the credibility of the American criminal justice system. In fact, until all private prisons in America have been abolished and outlawed, “the promise” of fairness and justice at every level of this country’s judicial system will remain unattainable. We must restore the principles and the vacant promise of our judicial system. Our government cannot continue to "job-out" its obligation and neglect its duty to the individuals confined in the correctional and rehabilitation facilities throughout this nation, nor can it ignore the will of the people that it was designed to serve and protect. There is urgent need for the good people of this country to emerge from the shadows of indifference, apathy, cynicism, fear, and those other dark places that we migrate to when we are overwhelmed by frustration and the loss of hope.

My hope is that you will support the National Public Service Council To Abolish Private Prisons (NPSCTAPP) with a show of solidarity by signing "The Single Voice Petition"

Please visit our website for further information: http://www.npsctapp.blogspot.com

–Ahma Daeus
"Practicing Humanity Without A License"...

June 20, 2009 at 8:01 AM  
Blogger libhom said...

And, the Goppers are the ones who keep complaining about wasteful gummint spending.

June 20, 2009 at 8:32 AM  
Blogger Demeur said...

Let me guess. He'll get caught in a marajuana bust in the next few months and all will be forgotten.

Most states are looking to let prisoners out early because they can't afford to house them and this guy wants to overcrowd the system.

June 20, 2009 at 8:36 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Bet you a twenty that this joker has a past full of toking.

And I don't know where you get your weed, but of course I get mine from the local drug kingpin. Every city in America has one, each funded by money funneled through Al-Qaeda sleeper cells. Sheesh.

June 20, 2009 at 10:03 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

TRT: Yes, it really is mind-boggling that people are still obsessed with marijuana in the 21st century. We could probably balance the budget overnight by legalizing and taxing marijuana, the way we're already doing with alcohol and tobacco.

Ahma Daeus: I think I signed that one already, but I'll check out the website and sign the petition (if I didn't already). Profit-driven private prisons have no place in a democracy.

Libhom: Government spending is only wasteful when it protects people from unscrupulous corporations. When it comes to spending money on war (including the war on drugs), the sky is the limit.

Demeur: That's probably exactly what will happen. Either he himself or a relative will get busted for pot, and Kirk will pull all sorts of strings to get him out of it. Sort of like Dumbya increasing drug penalties when he was governor of Texas, even though he himself had been bailed out of his own drug busts by his pappy.

Randal: That's right, I forgot -- every time you toke up, you're funding the terrorists.

June 20, 2009 at 11:29 AM  
Blogger Ricardo said...

OK already I fess up. You mean the pot dealers aren't running around cutting peoples limbs off? According to the film Refer Madness, I am to lose control and go on rampages due to this stuff. That's not true?

June 20, 2009 at 3:45 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ricardo: And don't forget, 98% of all heroin addicts started off on marijuana :)

June 20, 2009 at 4:27 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

This is a brilliant idea. It would force strapped-for-cash states releasing prisoners early to let the murderers, rapists and other dangerous criminals out on the street while the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers rot in jail.

June 20, 2009 at 4:53 PM  
Anonymous Bee said...

Let's see - if I had my pick of having the drive the same road with a pot smoker or a drunk, I'd take the pot smoker every time. It's more likely I'll walk away from the accident against the pot smoker t-boning me at 20 mph.

Where the hell do the repubes find all these incredible schmucks?? Is there a store that sells them? A school where they can be professionally trained to be assholes and idiots?? If I ever figure out where it is, I'm grabbing the gas can and the beer bottles...

June 20, 2009 at 7:43 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Lew: Yup, it's brilliant. According to the article, Mississippi actually is using expensive testing equipment to measure confiscated pot for THC content. The poorest state in the country has money for measuring the THC level in pot. Unreal.

Bee: LOL, it really does make you wonder if there's some sort of store or warehouse that sells these retarded rightwing drones. Wherever they're coming from, they need to be nipped at the source.

June 20, 2009 at 8:03 PM  
Anonymous Carlos said...

What an ass wipe. I can't believe this idiot. Surely there must be more important people to imprison - like rapists, child molesters, murderers, crooked public servants.

And alcohol gets a free ride. The other night two young men who'd been broken down on the shoulder here in town got rear-ended by a drunk. One is dead, the other is in critical condition. Of course, the drunk has only minor injuries.

And we can buy nearly 200 proof booze in the store with no limit.


June 21, 2009 at 4:23 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Carlos: In a country full of rightwing assholes, that one tops the list. The double standard between pot and alcohol is totally perverted.

June 21, 2009 at 10:34 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

Yikes, this congressman-person is awful. It seems to want us all to bow to it's bidding. We will not bend over! Thanks for the link to it's e-mail, I'm on that task right now.

June 21, 2009 at 11:01 AM  
Anonymous Screamin' Mimi said...

Where I live in Washington state, the State government has decided to open some more state-run liquor stores and increase the hours and days open on existing stores, hoping to increase revenue by increasing liquor sales.

No, I'm not kidding. Just what we need, more booze available for drivers on our already dangerous roads.

But tell these same people that decriminalizing marijuana and taxing it would be a better option, and they scream "NO! WE CAN'T CONDONE DANGEROUS DRUGS!"

I agree with Bee, above, there must be some factory that manufactures these brainless idiots and wraps them in packages that say "Suitable for Politics."

My cockatoos could figure this out.

June 21, 2009 at 7:04 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: You're right, that thing is definitely an "it" and not he or she. Give it hell at its e-mail address.

Screamin' Mimi: More booze and stricter penalties for pot, yup that sounds like a plan. I know Washington allows medical marijuana; I'm not sure what the rest of their pot laws are. Maybe one of your cockatoos could run for office. They'd have to be an improvement over what we've got now.

June 21, 2009 at 8:56 PM  
Anonymous S.W. anderson said...

Let's see, Jethro peddles a couple of joints to a friend at the park and gets nailed. The investigation leads to a half-dozen large flower pots in his apartment. Jethro is not growing enough marijuana to "ruin" the life of a determined midget, even if he were to sell the midget his entire annual crop yield for three years straight.

But never mind, Rep. Kirk would have taxpayers spend $625,000 to keep Jethro in prison. That's $25,000/year x 25 years, assuming no cost increase over that period, which is ridiculous. Then, multiply the cost by hundreds or maybe thousands of Jethros across the country. The mind boggles.

Kirk obviously thinks Jethro is a menace. The facts indicate Kirk is the real menace. He doesn't need THC to mess up his mind because he's crazy as hell already.

June 21, 2009 at 11:10 PM  
Anonymous kate said...

It's much easier to fill the jail quotas with marajuana users than with rapists, pedophiles, murderers, kidnappers, white collar crooks etc. After all, it's the marajuana users who are destroying this country, not all the other poor, misunderstood criminals.

June 22, 2009 at 11:46 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: These people's priorities are just incomprehensible. We're spending billions of dollars to incarcerate all of these "Jethros" but we don't have enough money to repair the infrastructure or provide national health coverage. And hardcore criminals are being released because prisons are too crowded. Makes no sense at all.

Kate: Potsmokers are much easier to arrest than violent criminals, which is probably why most law enforcement officers think our drug laws are just fine the way they are.

June 22, 2009 at 12:01 PM  

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