Who Hijacked Our Country

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

The Free Republic of Oklahoma

Who knows what this new nation will be called — West Taliban, Teabagistan, Aynrandland…

All that matters is, the good people of Oklahoma are going to be Free! Next stop — Liberty! Godfearing self-reliant Americans can only take so much before they rise up in rebellion and break free from their communist oppressors. Socialized medicine, a colored boy in the White House — Enough!

Some Oklahoma teatards and legislators are talking about creating a militia to fend off them mandates from that there federal gummint. Al Gerhart of Oklahoma City, head of the Oklahoma Constitutional Alliance, said:

“Is it scary? It sure is. But when do the states stop rolling over for the federal government?”

Uh, let’s see, maybe when these same bastions of self-reliance and bootstraps no longer need jillions of dollars in handouts from that wicked federal government they hate so much. As we all know — this has been posted on countless blogs and online news sites; Google it — the red states contribute a lot less money to (and siphon a lot more money from) the federal government than the blue states.

Along those same lines, those church-going family-values red states have much higher rates of divorce and teen pregnancy than those devil-worshiping blue states. But I digress…

As noted above, Al Gerhart is from Oklahoma City. And his biggest fear is the federal government??? I seem to remember that Oklahoma City actually had a tragic event awhile ago; something a lot more traumatic than a government mandate. Let’s see, what was it again? Uhh, it was about fifteen years ago, come to think of it the anniversary is coming up in a few days. Oh, now what was it? Oh well, it’ll come to me…

Oklahoma legislators who are in favor of this new teabirther militia include state Sen. Randy Brogdon (who’s also a candidate for governor) and state Rep. Charles Key. Birds of a feather.

With so many red states flaming away, you kinda have to feel sorry for Mississippi. For decades, no matter how low a state might rank in a certain category, it couldn’t be any lower than forty-ninth because Mississippi had fiftieth place locked up solid. Hence the popular expression “thank God for Mississippi.”

But Mississippi’s claim to fame might be in jeopardy. Texas is busy rewriting our history textbooks; future students will learn that Jesus walked across the Atlantic, followed closely by George Washington on the Mayflower, and together they drove the swarthy savages from God’s Country and established Freedom.

And the governor of Virginia is trying to pretend slavery never existed. So, what about poor ol' Mississippi? Is Mississippi going to just take this lying down?

Whoa! Not so fast there, Boy!!!

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Blogger Wolfe Tone said...

I think Chez Pazienza summed it up fairly well:

"We've crossed a very serious, very frightening line in this country where sedition, treason and armed revolution aren't held as unthinkable, un-American concepts but instead are offered as some sort of reasonable response to what's really nothing more than a paranoid persecution fantasy."

April 13, 2010 at 2:31 PM  
Blogger jadedj said...

Well now here's the thing. Any of those good 'ol boys there in any of those states, but especially that one there in Virginia, will tell you, that there war was not about slavery, as you said, but about States Rights. And let's see, those there states righters kinda sorta lost that one, as I recall, oh now on about 145 yers. Maybe Oklahoma didn't get the word, you know...shoutin' about states rights and all.

It just boggles the fucking mind.

April 13, 2010 at 3:18 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

This morning I was reading about an active duty marine here in California, setting up tea party FB accounts. You know, questioning the legitimacy of PO and his admin. Where were all these people when commander cuckoo bananas was infringing on everyone's rights, or should I just go kick my own butt for asking the question? We have so called Christian militias being arrested and then we have guardians of the Republic mailing sitting governors to leave office. It is like a bad story and there are more things being added daily. Kookinelli from VA, has some faith based healing woman, that exorcises teh ghey demons out of you, that he will be appearing with. Just very scary the amount of stuff that is tying these nutjobs together. Like the mapping of towns for what is supposedly un American(right wing) philosophies. There is a guy named Engle, forget his first name. He was all into prop h8 here in California on the yes side, he has this group that is calling for Christian martyrs, to try and stop teh gheys and women that want choice. Has even said, that these things will cause a second civil war. It really is getting obscene and IMO, all in the name racism, if you want to know my feeling on it.

April 13, 2010 at 3:56 PM  
Blogger Tim said...

Your so sarcastic....
And damn it I love it...
Great post

April 13, 2010 at 4:38 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

I say we get the old WWII allies back together and totally defeat the Nazis in Oklahoma, after which we can subject them to the de-Nazification regimen we put on their ideological heroes and forefathers.

April 13, 2010 at 4:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mississippi will be fine! Just read that they finally ratified the 13th Amendment several yrs ago, but they never mailed it to the National Archivist so slavery is still legal in that great state! They said they are going to soon though.

April 13, 2010 at 6:20 PM  
Blogger Lew Scannon said...

I'm actually scared, because while our army is scattered around the world, creating a corporocratic empire, who is there to protect us here at home from those people who only believe in democracy when their team wins the election?

April 13, 2010 at 7:07 PM  
Blogger Holte Ender said...

The whole thing is like reading "The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire."

Roman Legions spread all over the Empire containing the restless natives, fighting little wars, one after the other, buildings walls and forts, to keep the bastards from getting at you, meanwhile back in Rome, the spoiled brat Roman citizens start bitching and moaning, political intrigue to left and the right . . . watch this space.

April 13, 2010 at 7:58 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

"Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun." — Mao Tse Tung

Now, exactly how are the tin pot patriots of Oklahoma more devoted to American democracy than to communist rule?

April 14, 2010 at 12:14 AM  
Blogger T. Paine said...

I've got an idea! Why don't we just eliminate the concept of individual states altogether and just makes us all citizens of the United Socialists of America? (That way we could still be the USA, albeit the new and improved one.)

It's not like we pay much attention to the 10th Amendment to the Constitution anyway, nowadays.

For that matter, we should change the "living, breathing Constitution" to be more in line with the world's needs today.

For instance, absolutely abolish an individual's right to keep and bear arms as per the 2nd Amendment.

And the 1st Amendment right to free speech needs to be curtailed when anything treasonous or seditious in the eyes of the federal government is said. Implement an across the board fairness doctrine immediately!

I am absolutely amazed at the lack of knowledge of our history and civics as a people in this once great nation.

Hell, most of congress doesn't read the God damned bills they vote on now anyways, why should I be surprised that the same members haven't seemingly read the bill of rights either.

Jefferson, Madison, Adams et al are surely crying in heaven right now.

April 14, 2010 at 7:12 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Um, the Oklahoma City bombing was perpetrated by the federal government under noted adulterer and socialist Bill Clinton as a way to discredit true American patriots. Duh.

April 14, 2010 at 7:26 AM  
Blogger Joaquin said...

Chuckling, giggling, and poking fun at the protesters (frogs) will surely not make them go away. It's actually pissing them off, and they are now reading the Constitution.

The boiling of water didn’t start with President Obama, but it may begin to end with him.
The slow boiling of the frogs of freedom — has suddenly been noticed by countless millions of freedom-loving frogs. The frogs are jumping out of the pot and are ready to overturn the pots — and the pot handlers.

April 14, 2010 at 7:43 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Wolfe Tone: Good quote. What it comes down to is, when a congressional vote doesn't go the way they wanted, these people start yelling about tyranny and fascism and "taking back" their country.

jadedj: "Oklahoma didn't get the word," LOL. The Pony Expressed hasn't arrived there yet.

Jess: A "second civil war," I hope there isn't one. If there is, the wackoids will lose again, just like they lost the first one.

Tim: Thanks.

JR: Sounds like a plan.

Anonymous: I'm glad to see Mississippi is finally stepping into the 19th century.

Lew: Who knows, our troops might end up being quagmired in Oklahoma, Mississippi, Virginia, Texas...

Holte: The parallels aren't very comforting, are they.

SW: I think they're just devoted to their own rule, whatever that may be at any given moment.

T: There you go, I knew you'd come around :)

As long as the abbreviation is still "USA" -- if millions of Fox viewers had to start chanting different letters, well, calling it "mass confusion" would be an understatement :)

As far as I know, the 2nd Amendment has not been threatened at all under Obama or the Democrats in Congress. In fact, people are now allowed to bring guns into national parks, which is a first, I think (I'm not sure about that).

I wholeheartedly agree about people's lack of knowledge of history, civics, the Constitution; and the fact that bills get passed without even being read. Trouble is, people are acutely aware of this when their own party is out of power. I'm in that category myself. I'm not saying it's right, but I can't deny it.

Our Founding Fathers have been spinning in their graves since at least the early 1950s (McCarthyism) if not before.

Randal: I thought it was the Trilateral Commission.

Joaquin: I was trying to think of a metaphor that combined Frogs of Freedom with the Tree of Liberty, but nothing came to mind.

"The slow boiling of the frogs of freedom — has suddenly been noticed by countless millions of freedom-loving frogs." And those frogs who "suddenly noticed" are the ones I have zero sympathy or empathy for. The ones who were asleep in front of the TV set (probably Fox News) for 8 years, and then suddenly snapped awake in January 2009 -- they can STFU and go back to sleep.

If you're not in that category, then I respect your consistency, since you've said before that you left the Republican Party a long time ago.

April 14, 2010 at 11:14 AM  
Blogger Joaquin said...

Bush, FoxNews! Bush, FoxNews! Racism!

Yeah, Okaaaay...............

But, non-the-less........the frogs are pissed, they aren't STFU, and they're certainly not going back to sleep.
I know one thing, I'm not blinking or hitting the snoooooze button cause I don't want to miss a thing.

April 14, 2010 at 11:48 AM  
Blogger T. Paine said...

Tom, in regards to the 2nd amendment, you cannot deny that many of our brothers and sisters on the left would like to either restrict or outright eliminate the private ownership of firearms.

I have been in to several firearms stores since President Obama took office and have seen on more than one occasion a sign posted by the owners of those stores saying how Obama is their "Salesman of the Year".

It isn't that any new restrictions on guns themselves have been passed per se... yet, but rather that there are restrictions so that ammunition prices have sky-rocketed. Often times I cannot even find ammo for some of the popular calibers.

This is a smart new gun-control tactic, as the weapon is not of much value if you cannot find or afford ammunition for it. A gun tends to become about as useful as a paper weight then.

Further, President Obama has, is, and will continue to appoint judges that typically are not pro second amendment in their dispositions. Such is his right to appoint whomever he chooses, but such anti-gun stances fly in the face of the Constitution... once again.

As for the carrying of firearms in national parks, that is a law that was proposed by a Republican, sir. (Not that I have a whole lot more use for those idiots either, but at least they occasionally get things right.)

April 15, 2010 at 6:45 AM  
Blogger jadedj said...

Tom, I love it when you hit the nail upon the top!

November 16, 2012 at 10:01 AM  

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