Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Emergency Relief Drive for BP Shareholders

Enough already with these bloody oil-spill unpleasantries. Cleanup costs are running into millions of Pounds Sterling for British Petroleum; perhaps billions even. And this tragedy is utterly devastating for the company's shareholders.

One can only imagine the utter devastation being suffered by these tragedy-stricken shareholders. Please take a moment to view the heartbreaking losses suffered by this poor stockholder — oops, wrong picture.

Oh bloody hell, what did I do with it??? Try this one.

F$#&!#$#!!! Well anyway, here’s a very moving, tragic article about the utter despair and hopelessness of British Petroleum and its stockholders.

Damn it, that’s not it.

OK, I found it. This picture will tear your heart out, but please don’t look away. You can make a contribution to these poor devastated BP stockholders — or you can turn the page.

Please help! They would like their lives back.

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Blogger Dave Dubya said...

Yes, it's true, BP suffers most from his tragedy. Let's see all those Compassionate Conservatives out there come to the rescue of the poor pitiful victims of this terrible act of God.

I know deep in their hearts they would. And that's where it counts.

June 10, 2010 at 8:44 PM  
Blogger Tim said...

grrrrrr Tom yeah I would like to help them with a one way ticket to hell.
Burn them in the oil they unleashed upon the world.
Do you think that was to harsh?

June 10, 2010 at 8:53 PM  
Anonymous Carlos said...

Yeah....and some Brits are saying we're being too hard on the British to boot. Huh? It's not the people - it's the corporation, stupids.

June 11, 2010 at 2:39 AM  
Blogger Demeur said...

But but how do you expect them to afford Harvard for their kids and the Armani suits and the third vacation home? Oh the humanity!

June 11, 2010 at 10:15 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

If the birds didn't want to get covered in oil, they should have alighted somewhere else.

June 11, 2010 at 10:23 AM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Tom, I am not finding the donation page for these poor people. I'd like to help ;)

June 11, 2010 at 10:23 AM  
Blogger TomCat said...

I'm sorry that some elderly Brits are losing their retirement, just as I am that elderly Americans did in the GOP recession.

Fincncial construct run by millionaires that have no personal liability for their corporate actions should not exist.

June 11, 2010 at 12:03 PM  
Blogger T. Paine said...

Just for some balance here, please keep in mind that a vast majority of stock-holders for any major corporation are average middle class Americans with 401K's set up for their retirements.

Everyone that is a stockholder of BP is not some billionaire elitist, say like Warren Buffet or George Soros.

That being said, BP damn well better be forced to pay every dollar owed to clean up this mess and compensate those folks whos livelihoods their accident affected.

June 11, 2010 at 12:58 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Dave: Yup, poor BP, and the agony of their stockholders.

Tim: Nope, not too harsh at all.

Carlos: Maybe some of those Brits have fallen under the spell of the "corporations are people" meme.

Demeur: And their yacht payments are just brutal. And the country club dues...

Jess: Please look harder. This is the most important charity ever :)

Randal: Damn right. Same with the fish too.

TomCat: "Fincncial construct run by millionaires that have no personal liability." Yup, that's the crux of it. Stake-holders have no say in the decisions that affect their lives, and the people who make those decisions aren't stake-holders.

TP: Well, at least we agree that "BP damn well better be forced to pay every dollar owed to clean up this mess and compensate those folks whos livelihoods their accident affected."

I'm not without sympathy for BP shareholders whose retirements are in jeopardy because of BP's actions. My advice for them: "Sell!!!"

It goes to show that those fuzzy new-age terms like "socially responsible investing" actually make financial sense too.

June 11, 2010 at 1:13 PM  
Anonymous Dr. Kiss Injure said...

Hope you're not one of those transhumanist_eco-capitalists like "shamanic" hitman John Perkins.

June 11, 2010 at 2:04 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

DKI: I'm not into labels.

June 11, 2010 at 2:15 PM  

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