Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, January 06, 2011

Orange Alert! Grover Norquist is a Muslim Terrorist!

Nah, probably not. But this latest outburst of Extreme Rightwing paranoia is just too twisted for words.

This article sounds more like
“Who’s On First” or that Spy vs. Spy comic from Mad Magazine.

Rightwing activist Frank “Guided By Voices” Gaffney claims that some members of the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) are Muslim secret agents. Gaffney told WorldNet Daily (who else?) that the CPAC:

“…is involved in a stealthy effort to bring Shariah to the United States. This is a ticking time bomb for the conservative community. An influence operation is contributing materially to the defeat of our country.”

Gaffney is directing his witch hunt at two high-ranking members of CPAC. One of them is Suhail Khan. Well, [splutter] [sheesh] with a name like that, of COURSE he’s a Muslim terrorist. How the hell did that falafel-guzzling towel-head ever get into this country in the first place?!?!?

And the other suspect is Grover Norquist. Hmmm…the name doesn’t sound like he’s from one of them Ay-rab countries. But wait — Grover Norquist is the one who’s always talking about shrinking the government down to the size of a bathtub and then drowning it. He’s been claiming he wants a smaller government so that productive Americans can keep their hard-earned money instead of giving it away to a bunch of lazy parasites. But apparently, all along [gasp] Everything is suddenly so clear now. That whole “limited government” “self-reliance” thingy was just a ruse.

Their REAL motive is: a bathtub-size government won’t have the resources to spy on Americans and root out those Muslim subversives who would destroy America from within!

Suhail Khan and Grover Norquist: Yer Busted! Off to Gitmo with the both of you!

Rightwing extremists have been turning on each other for generations. No matter how far to the right you are, there’ll always be somebody else who’s further right than you and thinks you’re nothing but a no-good limp-wristed socialist. But Frank Gaffney’s latest tinfoil-hattery is one for the books.

It’s straight out of Bob Dylan’s “John Birch Society Blues.” I don’t remember the exact lyrics, but to paraphrase the last few sentences:

“Now that I’ve found out everyone else around me is a Communist, there’s nothing left to do but start investigating myself…Oh My God!”

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Blogger MRMacrum said...

John Birchers - wow that brings back some memories. Once the bastion of ultra right wing weirdness - now relegated to just another voice from the claptrap from the Right.

I do love it when the Right or Left begin to eat their own. Nothing points up the whackiness that exists at both edges than that.

I will say though, this conspiracy has some legs. Who better to destroy our way of life than those who pretend to protect it.

Guess I need to order more cases of beef jerky and gatorade.

January 7, 2011 at 4:35 AM  
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January 7, 2011 at 5:02 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

It's almost Zen, if Zen was a radioactive mutant from inner space.

January 7, 2011 at 7:15 AM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

Purity Now!

It's so much fun watching the Republicans kick "questionable" groups out of their ever-shrinking tent.

January 7, 2011 at 11:09 AM  
Blogger Dave Dubya said...

Of course they're terrorists, or sympathizers at least; the most conservative Muslims as well as the most conservative Christians are the real extremists contributing to the world's misery.

January 7, 2011 at 11:29 AM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

The "Sharia" meme is their latest attempt to keep the Bejesus scared out of people, since most of their other ways (Osama, gay couples, minorities) have withered due to their utter and complete incompetence.

If ya can't keep 'em scared, ya can't keep 'em voting for you.

January 7, 2011 at 3:16 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

Dubya, I've been thinking a lot about the Abrahamic religions, but I'm not quite to that stream of consciousness that would allow me to post on the subject. I hope the mental block goes away pretty soon.

January 7, 2011 at 3:18 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Bad days for the CPAC crowd. I just had a post on how there's a split in it over how to mistreat gays and lesbians: a little or a lot.

We're going to hear a lot more wailing, whining and dire warnings from the Gaffneys of the right this year. It's sinking in that the wars are beyond unpopular and that all this talk about bringing down the deficit is liable to take a bite out of defense spending, instead of rooting out worthless crap like health care, education, public safety and infrastructure.

Gaffney types are all about big defense spending and foreign threats. Fearmongering about bogeymen is how they make their very lucrative living.

January 8, 2011 at 12:25 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

MRM: The John Birch Society probably looks moderate compared to today's crop of Far Right nutcases.

"Who better to destroy our way of life than those who pretend to protect it." That's an excellent quote.

AFA: Thanks; I'll check out your site.

Randal: That sounds like my kind of Zen.

J: I don't know if their tent is shrinking or not. Every time they kick somebody out for being too "moderate," another wackjob pops in to take his place.

Dave: Damn right. There's basically no difference between Christian extremists and their Muslim counterparts. They call their gods by a different name, but other than that they're interchangeable.

JR: You're right, Shariah seems to be their latest "scare the inbreds" gimmick.

January 8, 2011 at 1:13 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: I've read about that too, about CPAC being boycotted by a lot of other rightwing groups because they're soft on "the homosexual agenda" or whatever. You're right about Gaffney and his ilk, that all they can do is keep whipping up fear and hysteria over foreign threats.

If it weren't for all the public paranoia, those people might have to work for a living.

January 8, 2011 at 1:22 AM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

Tom- they might be replacing moderate GOP politicians with whackjob GOP politicians but the important thing is they're driving away whole groups of voters.

January 9, 2011 at 8:39 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

J: I hope you're right.

January 9, 2011 at 10:24 AM  
Blogger Brendan said...


January 24, 2011 at 12:10 AM  

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