Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, March 24, 2011

America’s Two Most Powerful Special Interest Groups: Postal Workers and Indians

Overpaid teachers and firefighters aren’t the only drain on the U.S. Treasury. Congress is finally getting ready to crack down on another huge burden on taxpayers: those overpaid underworked pampered postal workers.

What do they do anyway, to earn those gigantic paychecks? Most of them live in gated communities with a pool in every backyard and two or three Ferraris in every driveway. And on top of all this luxury, postal workers just got a 3.5% pay raise.

Finally, Darrell Issa, America’s number one private dick (the operative word is dick) is going to do what he does best. He tore into those overpaid bureaucrats with:

“The Postal Service must show Congress and the American people that it can pay its own way, because the numbers do not seem to add up.”

And now on to the other special interest group. You probably don’t know this — especially if you’ve been to an Indian Reservation lately — but American Indians are the most protected pampered special interest group in the country. Hmmm, come to think of it, every time they scream “Waaaahhh, they took our land” — they get another handout. OK, we’re onto your little scam. Enough already!

Finally, Fox News correspondent John Stossel has brought this outrageous scandal to our attention:

“Why is there a Bureau of Indian Affairs? There is no Bureau of Puerto Rican Affairs or Black Affairs or Irish Affairs. And no group in America has been more helped by the government than the American Indians, because we have the treaties, we stole their land. But 200 years later, no group does worse.”

It sounds sort of like Jerry Seinfeld’s “Why do they call it Ovaltine?” monologue. And that’s the thing. With so many simpleminded rightwing dickwads running loose, it’s getting harder and harder to tell whether it’s a Daily Show/SNL skit or the real thing.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

for your info I knew someone who worked for them and he stole from them twice and got his job back both times,then he drank himself to death but while he decided he didn't feel like coming to work because he would rather stay home and drink ,he still got his full pay and he hardly went to work 4 months out of the year and of course he got the best medical care with no copays. Unions get that you know.
But now his wife is happily spending that 300,000 insurance policy they gave her on top of everything else.
Be glad the whole country isn't unionized otherwise how would the government get the money to pay for all that? Oh yeah form the people who would have been fired after the first incident.
But I am sure not all union workers have it that good,only that guy.

March 24, 2011 at 2:11 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

We is that powerful? Hell, you'd never have known it if you'd looked around at where them damn red men lived when I was a kid.

March 24, 2011 at 2:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"What do they do anyway, to earn those gigantic paychecks? " We get gigantic paychecks well I must be missing mine. "Most of them live in gated communities with a pool in every backyard and two or three Ferraris in every driveway." Drive to your nearest post office and tell me if you see "farraris" in the employee parking lot. Oh wait they must be keeping them in their gated community on the driveways for prestige. "And on top of all this luxury, postal workers just got a 3.5% pay raise." We deserve our pay raises why? because we do work hard. How would you like to be out in the cold days when its raining, snowing, or just plain freezing, or when its hot with temperatures reaching 105 plus. We survive the weather just to get the job done! Your posting is a joke!

March 24, 2011 at 3:42 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

I see someone has been doing a little drinking of their own-as in, the Hannity Kool-Aid.

Everybody knows a horror story in almost every category there is. Exceptions do NOT prove rules. I don't blame you for posting as anon, lisa. I'd have done the same thing if I was this stupid.

March 24, 2011 at 6:02 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Anonymous @ 2:11 p.m.: That sounds too much like one of those "my cousin had a coworker whose roommate said" kind of stories.

JR: Yup, you people have had too much pampering. Fox News wouldn't lie :)

Anonymous @ 3:42 p.m.: "Your posting is a joke!" Right you are. The post was intended to be tongue-in-cheek.

Gotcha :)

JR: That first anon. comment was from Rogers Cable, where Lisa always comments from. But I get other troll commenters from that same ISP. Some of them are too coherent to be Lisa. It's probably an unproductive workplace where everyone just sits around and goes trolling instead of working.

March 24, 2011 at 7:22 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

"The Postal Service must show Congress and the American people that it can pay its own way, because the numbers do not seem to add up.”

A big reason the numbers don't add up is because junk mail rates are kept extra-special low to benefit — are you ready for this, Darrell? — BUSINESS.

But never mind about that. I'm sure that in typically perverse Republican fashion, Issa will see to it postal workers and individual postal patrons will pay more and more for the benefit BUSINESS enjoys.

March 24, 2011 at 8:03 PM  
Anonymous Badger said...

I don't pay attention to trolls to much unless I'm hungry. That being said: I enjoyed the post. It as it was meant to, made me think back a few years. I've been around the country a few times. Never have a people been put down and lied to as much as American Indians. I won't go into what I found because my friends here already know what I'm talking about.
Yeah those damn unions, improving safety, working conditions, and security for the working stiff. How dare they! We could all be Walmart workers which is the end game for the stinking Republicans.

March 25, 2011 at 1:29 AM  
Anonymous Jess said...

@ANON 2:11, I have one of those stories too, but mine involves UFOs and probes. It upsets me to talk about so I don't.

Far as them Indians, well Jesus said this is white mans country so I end it on that. I think that is all needs to be said isn't it?

March 25, 2011 at 8:57 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: Excellent point -- all that junk mail is exactly why "the numbers don't add up."

Badger: I hope there's a huge backlash against that Fox asshole. Indians aren't as powerless as they used to be, and John Stossel needs some serious ridiculing and/or boycotting.

Yes, we should all be a nation of Wal-Mart drones, underpaid and thanking God every day that we have a job.

Jess: Oh my God, that happened to you too? There should be a support group for UFO survivors who have had a xzemeleepozorp inserted in their -- oh God those horrible memories are coming back, I have to go now.

March 25, 2011 at 10:11 AM  
Blogger Ralph said...

They envy Jon Stewart his position of influence and have therefore decided to make the news just as ridiculous as a Daily Show report?

March 25, 2011 at 10:41 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Ralph: I think you're right. Rightwing zanies are so far off the deep end, it's hard to tell them apart from the comedians who mimic them.

March 25, 2011 at 4:20 PM  
Anonymous Rick Massey said...

Thanks for reminding me what a moron John Stossel is. After seeing so many of his lying rants about how easy it is to make up things to sue people over, I had pretty much stopped watching him at all. His Indian dribble reminds of me of the old Supreme Court decision that brags about how we "bestowed upon them Chritianity" after we stole their lands, their culture, their children, and their religions. Is there any end to the ignorant arrogant crap?

March 26, 2011 at 5:41 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Rick: I never watch any of those Fox talking heads, but when I saw that article about his anti-Indian rant, I just had to do a post on it.

March 26, 2011 at 7:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know what postal service you work for but pay raises are frozen for us too and I did not get 3.5% raise. Also taxpayers have nothing to do with our pay. Our salaries come from revenue not the government and we don't get funding from the government. Your health insurance is probably cheaper and better than ours too. Even the employee has to pay a portion of our insurance premiums. You need to get your facts straight.

April 12, 2011 at 4:51 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

This entire post was tongue-in-cheek. I was making fun of Darrell Issa for saying the post office costs too much money; and John Stossel for saying American Indians are too pampered and overprotected.

April 12, 2011 at 6:55 PM  

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