Governor John Kasich: Creating Jobs in Ohio
The liberal media has been portraying John Kasich as a braindead errand boy for the Oligarchy, with absolutely no specific plans other than crippling unions and going down on the Koch brothers.
Nothing could be further from the truth. As the teatards keep reminding us, “the government can’t create jobs.” And John Kasich is proving this talking point by creating a private entity — JobsOhio — which will urge businesses to relocate to Ohio. “No unions! Rock bottom wages! None of them commie safety regulations!”
When you hear that giant sucking sound, it’ll be from thousands of companies moving out of those Nanny Blue States and into Freedom-loving Ohio. (Of course it’ll also include the sound of John Kasich’s above-mentioned threesome with the Koch brothers.)
Being the shrewd free-enterpriser that he is, John Kasich will be the chairman of JobsOhio. Liberals will probably whine about “conflict of interest” or “corporate welfare” or whatever…
Kasich has a foolproof plan for financing JobsOhio. He’ll be leasing the state’s liquor stores to JobsOhio, and the booze revenue will finance their operations. This economic plan is foolproof for two reasons:
1. Buyer’s Remorse. People who are in the throes of buyer’s remorse tend to drink more. And Ohio voters are going through a major big time lollapalooza case of buyer’s remorse.
2. John Boehner.
Now is that teamwork or what? If Boehner satisfies his jones exclusively through Ohio’s liquor stores, Ohio will soon have the lowest unemployment rate in the world.