Something’s Rotten in Wisconsin

There are some interesting parallels between Prossergate and Watergate. The more things change...Remember when Richard Nixon’s secretary, Rose Mary Woods, accidentally erased eighteen incriminating minutes from one of the Watergate tapes?

It was the weirdest thing. She was sitting at her desk, typing while practicing Yoga, as always. Without realizing it, she got into some sort of bizarre Yoga posture that only a few advanced Yogis in India are capable of doing. She straightened out one leg and reached her foot way waaaayy out there, much further than the length of her leg. Her toe accidentally pushed against the Erase button on the tape recorder that contained one of Nixon’s tapes that he didn’t want released.

She continued typing away blissfully in that same position. Eighteen minutes later she decided to change positions. And that was when she discovered — to her utter horror! — that her toe had been resting on the Erase button for that entire eighteen minutes. “Oh!” she gasped. “What ever have I done??!?!?!?”

Now, fast forward 38 years, and see Rose Mary Woods morph into Waukesha County Clerk Kathy Nickolaus.

As you know, Wisconsin Supreme Court Justice David Prosser — one of Scott Walker’s fellow Kochsuckers — was up for re-election. It was supposed to be a shoe-in, since nobody had even heard of his opponent, JoAnne Kloppenburg. And these state court re-elections are usually routine and uneventful. The public yawns and the incumbent wins.

But because of the huge backlash against Wisconsin’s Republican prostitutes for destroying labor unions — as they were ordered to do by their pimps, the Koch Brothers — the vote was a tie. Kloppenburg was several hundred votes ahead, and a recount would be necessary.

And then — funny story — Waukesha County Clerk Kathy Nickolaus said to herself: “Hey, what’s that big box under the table? I never noticed it before. I’d better have a look. Why, raise my rent! There are 14,000 ballots that haven’t been counted yet. OOPS!”

And by a sheer coincidence, Waukesha County just happens to be the most conservative county in Wisconsin. Most of these uncounted votes are certain to be for David Prosser. We don’t even need a recount. Case closed. Next.

Other coincidences include:

Kathy Nickolaus worked for David Prosser when he was in the Wisconsin State Assembly.

In 2001 Kathy Nickolaus received immunity for testifying about her own role in a campaign scandal.

Kathy Nickolaus has already been audited for removing official election data from the county computer network and installing it on her personal computer.

Sometimes, when a country is notorious for its festering corruption, a UN-sponsored human rights group will monitor the elections in that country. When the upcoming recall elections are held in Wisconsin — and Ohio and Indiana and Florida and Michigan — we need the United Nations to watch very very closely.