Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Campaign Guidelines for Slippery Two-Faced Fence-Sitting Republicans

Despite all the warning signs — public outrage at town hall meetings, the defeat of a favored Republican congressional candidate in a special election — Republicans are still determined to go forward with privatizing Medicare. Instead of “OK, our constituents have spoken; back to the drawing board,” it’s “oops, we didn’t spin it right. We need better soundbites.”

Republican politicians are looking for a way to campaign for Paul Ryan’s “destroy Medicare in order to save it” plan, but without actually having to come out and say it. Or, some of them might want to slyly distance themselves from the Paul Ryan plan while simultaneously praising Him.

And here is their guidebook.

First, do not EVER say anything negative about Paul Ryan. If you disagree with His plan for gutting Medicare, say so in the nicest possible way, while simultaneously praising Him as the living incarnation of Jesus, George Washington and Ronald Reagan.

Newt Gingrich learned this the hard way. When he disagreed with the Ryan plan, hardcore Republicans interpreted it as an attack on Ryan Himself. And now the GOP leadership has asked Gingrich for a divorce.

And this is why Tim Pawlenty is still in the race. He hasn’t backed the Ryan plan (yet) but he regularly swoons that Paul Ryan is “offering real leadership in Washington.” Mitt Romney, also not taking a stand (or taking 47 different positions), has praised Ryan for “setting the right tone.”

Second — The Conversation. Paul Ryan started the “adult conversation” buzzword, and all GOP candidates need to run with it. It’s OK if you don’t have the balls to come right out and say you want to pull the rug out from under millions of people. Just throw out a bunch of meaningless doubletalk, and periodically scrinch your face into that deadly serious expression while saying “we need to have this conversation.”

And remember — you can be totally vague and noncommittal, as long as you refer to your plan as being “still in the works,” “not identical to Paul Ryan’s plan but we share the same objectives,” “we’re on the same page when it comes to entitlements,” etc.

Anyway, that’s a small preview of the soundbites and longwinded nothing-speak we’ll all be getting bombarded with.


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9 Comments:

Blogger Suzan said...

You gotta remember that the definition of "real leadership" to them is straight down.

Check Cheney's latest epistle, saying he "worships the ground" Ryan walks upon.

Satan has spoken.

May 26, 2011 at 2:28 PM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

They should just go ahead and change their name to the TPP...Talking Points Party.

May 26, 2011 at 6:06 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

They need to tie themselves as tightly as possible to Ryan. Few things please me more, especially after seeing how many people defected from the Rushpubliscums in NY-26. Those voters aren't fickle ones.

May 26, 2011 at 8:02 PM  
Blogger Demeur said...

This will be the anchor that sinks the rethuglicon party. Stick with it boys and the old folks will kick your ass the next election cycle.

May 26, 2011 at 11:02 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

find it amazng how the democrats can give everything to every group. Blacks,Hispanics,Gays,Immigrants,
seniors,the poor,the middle clas(speaking of talking points)
They are so good to everyone. I find it short of a miracle how they spread themselves so thin.
It sounds good in speeches though.

May 27, 2011 at 7:09 AM  
Blogger Jack Jodell said...

The Republicans are all walking lock-step off the cliff on this one. Good riddance!

May 27, 2011 at 10:16 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Suzan: I saw that same story. Maybe Cheney could worship that ground by pushing his face into it.

J: That name would be a lot more accurate.

JR: Damn right, the Ryan plan needs to be a huge albatross around all of the Republican necks.

Demeur: I hope you're right. A nice big anchor to pull them all under.

Jack: I hope you're right. I'd like to be there to help them over the edge.

May 27, 2011 at 12:05 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Like Suzan said. And yes, how could any wing nut even think a disparaging thought about lyin' Paul Ryan after none other than Deadeye Dick Cheney has said he worships the ground Ryan walks on. (Probably has wet dreams after reading Ryan's budget butchery too.)

May 27, 2011 at 2:33 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: Maybe Cheney and Ryan could run off together and live happily ever after. It would be a win win for them and the rest of the world.

May 27, 2011 at 5:15 PM  

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