Who Hijacked Our Country

Monday, May 02, 2011

Sarah Palin Plunges into California’s Water Wars

There’s a popular saying, “the less you know about a problem, the easier the solution is.”

Enter Sarah Palin. Fights over water have been a huge part of California’s history. Farmers say they don’t get enough water to grow their crops. Others accuse farmers of wasting the water they get. Cities are demanding more water for their growing populations. And some people don’t want endangered species to go extinct “so people in L.A. can wash their cars.”

It’s a volatile issue; always has been. It's pretty tacky to deliberately stir shit up
— figuratively throwing a lit match onto a pile of oily rags — by spewing out a few polarizing soundbites to a selected audience. But if you're a phony has-been who refuses to fade away, the urge must be overpowering.

In ultra-conservative central California, there's been a backlash against the 3-inch-long Delta Smelt, the latest endangered species to get in the way of Big Ag profits. Sarah Palin to the rescue:

Three inches, that’s more than Todd ever A faceless government is taking away their lifeline, water, all because of a 3-inch fish. Where I come from, a 3-inch fish, we call that bait. There is no need to destroy people's lives over bait.”

Sarah you Ignorant Slut.

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Blogger Snave said...

"Where I come from, a governor who intentionally leaves office after serving only half a term is called a quitter. There is no need to destroy America by voting for a quitter.”

May 2, 2011 at 6:47 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Damn this woman is like a case of the herpes isn't she?

May 2, 2011 at 7:21 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


At least if you get a flare up in Herpes you can take medicine for it.

These Farmers much be inhaling too much of their fertilizer if they think Palin can solve their problems


May 3, 2011 at 12:17 AM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

I don't know enough about the endangered 3-inch smelt to comment on that. I am concerned about the number of species going extinct every year, but I expect the farmers have a legitimate concern about getting enough water too.

I did find this quote from a professor at the end of the story notable: "I was hoping Sarah Palin would defer the fee and do the speech for the goodness of the college and for our students."

Obviously, he hoped in vain. No matter how much she cares about drillers, farmers and what have you, Palin cares most of all about Palin. If the prof doesn't get that, he's spending too much time in an ivory tower.

May 3, 2011 at 12:42 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

More proof that we need soylent green.

May 3, 2011 at 6:36 AM  
Anonymous Thomas said...

I'm a touch offended at applying one of the most classic lines in the history of American comedy to such a useless person.

May 3, 2011 at 8:00 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Snave: LOL. If she was honest, that's what she would have said.

Jess: Herpes and Sarah Palin are both forever.

Erik: That's true, doctors are still working on a cure for Sarah Palin Syndrome.

SW: I couldn't believe that professor actually thought Palin would give her lecture for free, out of kindness and concern for local issues. Next, he'll probably send $500 to a P.O. Box so he can learn how to stuff envelopes at home for thousands of dollars a week.

Randal: We need it now more than ever.

Thomas: LOL. Dan Aykroyd and Jane Curtin are turning in their graves (figuratively).

May 3, 2011 at 1:44 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I remember there was a girl in HS who people called "slut",mostly the girls because IMO they were jealous of her.
I heard years later why after tenth grade no one saw her anymore because she was so depressed that her parents moved the family out of state for a new start.
Kids can be so mean.

May 4, 2011 at 6:49 PM  

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