Who Hijacked Our Country

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Arizona’s Newest Holiday: White People’s Day

Republican state representative Cecil Ash has suggested that Arizona create a holiday to celebrate white people.  It’s about time!  Finally, this neglected unsung ethnic group will get the recognition it deserves.

Let’s hope the rest of the country follows Arizona’s lead.  We should all be celebrating National White People’s Day.  It would be a chance for other ethnic groups to dress like white people and imitate their stiff wooden movements.  And everyone could talk in those measured cadences and that careful enunciation that gives the white dialect its unique sound.

But seriously, there are so many things we take for granted which would simply not exist had it not been for the White Race.  You’ve spent countless hours in sterile shopping malls with one faceless store blending into another, and you’ve probably never stopped to think:  a white person made this possible.

And there are many other contributions from the white race which we take for granted.  For example:  the Dewey Decimal System was invented by a white person.

Same thing with our beloved American cuisine — it was brought to us by white folks.  Sandwiches with mayonnaise on white bread; macaroni and cheese; mashed potatoes; Twinkies, cube steak — what other ethnic group could possibly come up with such delicacies?

And think of the TV programs we all grew up with.  Westerns, sterile comedies with canned laughter — think back to your favorite TV shows and thank a white person.

And most important of all:  Music.  God only knows what we’d all be listening to if it weren’t for the Caucasian race.  White people invented both kinds of music:  country AND western.

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Blogger Jerry Critter said...

White people must have invented sex also because there are so many of us.

February 5, 2012 at 10:48 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

I can't say I'm shocked. The Klanservative Klanbagging Kochsuckers and their (for-real) Nazi allies pretty much own Arizona.

February 6, 2012 at 4:08 AM  
Blogger Randal Graves said...

Comedian: Yo, check this out. Black guys drive a car like this.
Do, do, ch. Do-be-do, do-be-de-do. Yeah, but white guys, see, they drive a car like this. Dee-da-dee, a-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee.

Homer: It's true, it's true! We're so lame!

February 6, 2012 at 7:41 AM  
Blogger okjimm said...

Name it after Newt... Belly Button Lint Day.....

February 6, 2012 at 9:20 AM  
Anonymous Jess said...

I don't even have good snark for this.

February 6, 2012 at 10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

He'll be proud to know that David Duke has be advocating a day like this for decades.


February 6, 2012 at 11:00 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jerry: I think there's too many of everybody.

JR: Nope, not a bit shocking.

Randal: Homer was right.

okjimm: Good name.

Jess: Some things are too wacky to even be satirized.

Erik: I'm sure David Duke and Cecil Ash have a lot in common.

February 6, 2012 at 1:27 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

Some things are too wacky to even be satirized.

yeah like this

February 6, 2012 at 2:54 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

As usual, our resident moron bimbo posts a stupid link to a stupid video, because she doesn't have a brain in her pretty little head. I suppose the fumes from the oven cleaner done did in whatever mind she may onece have had. Either that, or the ass-beatings she gets from straying from the kitchen.

February 6, 2012 at 3:17 PM  
Blogger Mr. Charleston said...

I get the drift, but there's one thing for sure, if it weren't for white people, the music you would be listening to would be drums, only.

February 6, 2012 at 3:33 PM  
Anonymous S.W. Anderson said...

Just something more intended to divide, to set Us against Them.

I wonder if the fevered mind behind this nonsense is more motivated by paranoia or arrogance.

February 7, 2012 at 1:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr C

So called Primitive Cultures have been using string and wind instruments long before Europe grabbed hold of them.

One Musicologist said without the black influence in American Music, we'd probably all be dancing to Gregorian Chants


February 7, 2012 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: I assume Mr. Charleston's comment was tongue-in-cheek.

February 7, 2012 at 12:48 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

JR my oven is self cleaning,how could I possibly cook,squirt babies and clean ovens?

February 8, 2012 at 10:33 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Why shouldn't we, as white people, have our on holiday, People of african decent have the whole month of February. " Black History Month".

July 6, 2012 at 8:34 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Give us white entertainment television just like black entertainment television.whos discriminating here.take a look la raza .latin heritage.this goes both ways and must be fair .freedom for all.not just a few.united we stand divided we fall.

March 11, 2013 at 9:33 PM  

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