Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, February 02, 2012

Biblehumpers Don’t Let Biblehumpers go to Starbucks

The Far Right has always hated Starbucks anyway.  Providing good pay and benefits to their employees, purchasing Fair Trade coffee from a bunch of swarthy peasants in third world countries — Starbucks is Wrong For America.

And now that same-sex marriage has been legalized by the Washington legislature, the inbreds are crawling out of the woodwork.  Starbucks — based in Seattle, and a longtime proponent of gay rights — is their newest scapegoat.

Pastor Steven Andrew, president of USA Christian Ministries, is urging all Christians to boycott Starbucks until that godless company sees the light, yells “Uncle!” and starts doing its fair share of gay bashing, as God intended.

Steven Andrew’s “reasoning” — not easy when you think the Earth is 6,000 years old — is that since 80% of Americans identify themselves as Christians, Starbucks’ business will fall by 80% if the company is boycotted by Christians.  oooookay.  Anyone who could be convinced by this dickwad to boycott Starbucks probably doesn’t drink coffee anyway.  Who needs coffee when you have snake venom?!?

Steven Andrew said:

“Starbucks is no longer fashionable. If your church still uses Starbucks, then your pastor is a friend of the world.  God calls those who oppose Him ‘haters of God.’  Starbucks can follow Satan if they want to…This boycott is important because God blesses those who obey Him and judges those who don’t obey Him.”

He refers to Starbucks coffee as “Satan Juice.”

Here’s a link to the USA Christian Ministries website.  You’ll laugh.  You’ll scream.  You’ll kick the computer.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go grab me another Cup o’ Sate.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

...and the left hated Starbucks out here because they allowed people to pack unloaded heat out in the open in their cafe's

Cant Win


February 2, 2012 at 2:08 PM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

Talk about a boycott that's instantly doomed to fail.

February 2, 2012 at 2:18 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

I prefer boycotting churches, myself. to each, their own, I guess.

February 2, 2012 at 2:54 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

fuck these guys. Seriously I have had it... fuck them with rusty chainsaws, sideways even. They are never satisfied and always go further and further. See what they are doing with breast cancer and now we find out, stem cell research since the humpers got an inch. The bastards took a mile and kept smiling. Fuck them. Oh and have I said fuck them yet, if not then fuck them. One of these days I will have to tell you all how I really feel about these idiots but you'll have to wait for me to come out of my shell.

February 2, 2012 at 3:23 PM  
Anonymous Omnipotent Poobah said...

Don't forget, they hate Starbucks because of the Satanic logo too.

February 2, 2012 at 4:42 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

It might make a minor dent in Starbucks' sales, but I don't think it will hurt much. And possibly because so many Americans are tired of the Puritans who are so unhappy they have to drag everyone else down to their level of misery. "If I can't be happy, neither can you!" I would really find this very laughable if it wasn't so damned annoying!

February 2, 2012 at 5:43 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

Also, what Jess said! 8-)

February 2, 2012 at 5:43 PM  
Blogger BadTux said...

That's a parody site. It has to be. No real right-wing site could be so idiotic, so ridiculous, so obviously written by insane people who hold conversations with imaginary friends.


Err, you're saying it's *not* a parody? Sigh. It's so hard to tell nowadays!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

February 2, 2012 at 9:53 PM  
Anonymous Screamin' Mimi said...

Absolutely, what Jess said. Jeez, Jess, too bad you're such a shrinking violet. :)

February 2, 2012 at 9:54 PM  
Blogger BadTux said...

Jess, Screamin', are you male or female? Looking at the guy's picture, I don't think he'd be interested in being fscked by you if you're female. My Gaydar is going "bingbingbingbing" big-time.

But of course he is pushing the conservative gay agenda -- bigger closets. Alrighty, then!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin

February 2, 2012 at 9:58 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

@badTux. They are all beginning to merge into a constant gaydar pinging for me when I see them. Porno Pete Barbera, Tony Perkins, Ladybird Bachmann all have that same look that those of us with finely tuned gaydar pick it up. I'm female but even I wouldn't get that close to him, unless it was for country and someone else held up porn to watch, so I could get through the experience faster.

February 3, 2012 at 8:19 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: I didn't know that. I thought the Left just hated Starbucks because they're a huge franchise.

J: Yup, it was a failure before it started.

JR: That's my kind of boycott too.

Jess: The rusty chainsaw part sounds especially poetic.

OP: And because Starbucks serves coffee instead of snake venom.

Snave: I doubt if this boycott will even make a dent. It could even backfire and cause Starbucks' business to go up.

BT: Nope. As hilarious as that site is, those people are for real.

And now that you mention it, that pastor and Marcus Bachmann would make a lovely couple.

SM: Yes, we need to work on bringing Jess out of her shell.

February 3, 2012 at 12:38 PM  
Blogger andaz luise said...

StarBucks comes in most successful Coffe franchise of America and fastest growing franchise. I absolutely agree with you that boycott is only one option to get a solution.

toronto business opportunities

September 27, 2012 at 4:15 AM  

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