Who Hijacked Our Country

Friday, March 30, 2012

Karl Rove: Obama “a Double Agent for Russia”

Karl Rove’s “independent” group, American Crossroads, has released a new video portraying  President Obama is a double agent for Russia, secretly working from within to weaken America’s defenses.

Everyone knew the Far Right would jump all over Obama’s open-mic gaffe, where he was heard telling Dmitry Medvedev that he’d have more flexibility on missile defense after the election.  And with Pavlovian predictability, this is what Rove’s new video is based on.

The video is a James Bond spoof, starring Obama as “President Flexible.”  Medvedev is “Dr. Transmitkov,” combining villains from James Bond and Austin Powers movies.  And Vladimir Putin stars as “Himself.”

A voice says:

“Your mission is simple, Mr Obama:  Win one last election to gain unchecked flexibility, weaken our defenses, and fundamentally transform the world.”

The video also shows images of missiles and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

Obama — and every other Democratic candidate — will have to get used to these slanderous attacks financed by unknown shadowy creatures.  These hit pieces will be getting hotter and heavier and thicker and more vicious between now and November.  In most cases the public won’t even know who designed these attacks or who is paying for them.

But this works both ways.  An unknown opposition researcher has turned up some unflattering information about Karl Rove.  For instance, did you know:

Karl Rove likes to hang around public restrooms and lure little boys to his secret hideaway.  Once he gets them there, he ties them up and ejaculates all over them while they’re being forced to watch graphic child porn videos.  In the next room, kittens and puppies are being tortured, and Rove’s child victims have to listen to all the pitiful wailing and screeching.

The previous paragraph was brought to you by Concerned Christians for a Better America.

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Blogger S.W. Anderson said...

Rove's group is misnamed. It should be American Doublecrossroads.

That open-mike moment is a real scandal. Heaven knows, no U.S. president should ever have any flexibility when dealing with sensitive foreign policy matters. It's a well-established fact that straitjacketed presidents do so much better.

Seriously, a good answer for Rove's load of BS is to remind voters about Nixon's illegal secret war in Laos. Remind voters how Reagan, before he was even president, broke the law and violated the Constitution by not only making a deal with a foreign country (Iran), but with a hostile foreign country. Also, remind people about Bush's lying us into war in Iraq, about Abu Ghraib, waterboarding, secret overseas prisons and illegal abductions of sometimes innocent foreigners from third-party nations. Let's not let all this crap disappear down the memory hole Republicans a-holes like Rove are trying to dig for the electorate.

March 30, 2012 at 7:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Karl Rove,

The Protege of the man who gave us Willie Horton


March 30, 2012 at 10:34 PM  
Blogger J. Marquis said...

Karl Rove is a double agent for Humpty Dumpty.

March 31, 2012 at 12:04 PM  
Blogger Dave Dubya said...

Rove, the neo-fascist, is distracting us from tht fact his grandfather was a Nazi.

March 31, 2012 at 2:06 PM  
Blogger jadedj said...

S.W. Anderson is spot on. Give it right back to the sorry bastards. And the beauty of it is...these things regards the repugs, are true. We need to get over "nice guy" time.

March 31, 2012 at 4:01 PM  
Blogger Snave said...

The Democrats need to work at dispelling myths. There are some old GOP myths that are beginning to crumble, like the ones that the GOP is stronger on national defense and also on the economy than the left. As the left continues its work to dispel those myths, the GOP senses its disadvantage in what they once thought were "safe" areas, so now they will try to create NEW myths, which of course are going to be nearly all lies... designed to distract voters away from how the GOP is now weaker on defense than it was before, and now weak on the economy. They are also alarmed at how women and Latino voters are turning against them; while those haven't necessarily been "safe" demographics for the GOP, women and Latinos are running away from supporting the Republicans.

Desperate times of course call for desperate measures, which means that the lies we hear from the GOP are going to be even more false and vicious than ever. If we think the Swift Boat junk was bad when Kerry ran, we have seen nothing yet. And with people such as Karl Rove leading the way, this is just the beginning. What they cook up this time is probably going to be epic.

SW is right! Obama and the Dems need to fight back and fight back hard.

As we fight the falsehoods, we can remind people when the last terrorist attack occurred on American soil, and ask voters if they feel safer now than they did the last time a Republican was in office. And we can talk about how it has been shown that people do better financially when Democrats are in office... the economic recovery is slow, but we are in one. Do people want to continue supporting those whose policies got us into the economic mess?

It's like driving an automatic transmission... if you want to go backwards you choose "R", but if you want to move forward you choose "D".

March 31, 2012 at 6:21 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Jesus H Keeryst Rove is an idiot. That is all.

March 31, 2012 at 7:36 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

SW: "American Doublecrossroads" is definitely more accurate.

GW Bush had all sorts of flexibility when it came to invading Iraq and generally telling the rest of the world to fuck off. And like you said, Nixon's flexibility in Laos and Reagan's flexibility in Nicaragua.

But I guess flexibility is a good thing when a Republican is in the White House.

Erik: Yup, he sprang from the loins of Lee Willie Horton Atwater.

J: Notice how you've never seen the two of them together.

Dave: He's gonna have to do a lot of distracting.

jadedj: We definitely need to get rid of the "Nice Guy" approach. If Nice Guy Obama loses this election, we're fucked.

Snave: You're right, we need to equal or surpass the Right at getting our message out. We have the advantage, since our message is true and theirs is just corporate talking points.

I like your automatic transmission analogy.

March 31, 2012 at 7:40 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: (Sorry, I guess our comments crossed) -- And that's all that needs to be said.

March 31, 2012 at 7:41 PM  

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