Who Hijacked Our Country

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

And Now YOU TOO can have a Politician in Your Pocket

That’s right folks, the playing field has been leveled.  You don’t have to be a multi-billionaire robber baron to purchase a politician for your own personal use.

Right now, for as little as $51 on eBay, you can purchase your very own 3-inches-tall Mitt Romney.  You can fit your new Mini-Mitt snugly into your pocket, just as if you were a hedge fund manager or a Koch Brother.

And don’t dismiss the Mini-Mitt just because it’s only three inches tall.  Mini-Mitt is so wooden and lifeless, you’d swear it was the real thing.

Or maybe you’d rather purchase a mini- Supreme Court justice.  With this new level playing field, you don’t need to be an HMO executive to have the Supreme Court in your pocket.

Act Now.  Void where prohibited.

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Blogger Mr. Charleston said...

Visions of some sort of nativity scene populated by three inch tall politicians are swimming in my head. The Capital and the White House would be as doll houses. They would be boxed with a picture of an American flag with Jesus holding it and they would be featured prominently at Walmart. You could buy outfits and accessories for your figures. They would be called... blockheads. I'm gonna be rich!

June 12, 2012 at 7:06 PM  
Blogger S.W. Anderson said...

I expected something gold plated or at least brass. And hollow. Very, very hollow. ;)

June 12, 2012 at 7:19 PM  
Blogger Jerry Critter said...

Void where prohibited? The purchase of a politician or a supreme court Justice is a nationwide right.

June 12, 2012 at 8:46 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

Not just nationwide. Thanks to Citizens United, you are perfectly entitled to purchase your own US politician no matter where you come from. Chinese? No problem. Saudi? Let's see the money.

June 12, 2012 at 11:21 PM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Seems to me this would be a good toy for my cats or dogs to bat around and Behold a new internet meme has begun. I find this idea fascinating and may even contribute to my own newsletter to get more ideas. I still say those congresscritters need to start wearing patches like they do in sports, to let us know who is sponsoring them. It's an idea whose time has really come.

June 13, 2012 at 8:06 AM  
Blogger Suzan said...

And, of course, it's prohibited nowhere in this country!

Thanks for the reality bites, Tom.

Love ya,


P.S. Following up on Jess' idea, why not have every blog just go ahead and put sponsor-identifying patches on every politico, "journalist," etc., featured in essays.

(I need a cut.)

June 13, 2012 at 10:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is is me or is the doll more animated then the real thing?


June 13, 2012 at 10:43 AM  
Blogger Snave said...

As long as the figurine of Mitt is made of soft rubber, so you can hold it in your hand and squeeze it, really really hard. (I still have my old GWB squeeze toy around here somewhere!) 8-)

Mitt, should he be elected, will be squeezing everyone like we've never been squeezed before, so we should be able to squeeze back, even if it's just in a sort-of figurative way.

June 13, 2012 at 12:52 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

June 13, 2012 at 1:29 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I'll take the Mitt Doll any day over the Obama Puppet anyday

June 13, 2012 at 1:31 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Mr. C: LOL, I like your nativity scene.

SW: Yup, gold-plated and hollow would be appropriate.

Jerry: That's right, I remember now; it's clearly stated in the First Amendment.

JR: That's right, it's worldwide now. It's fun being the global clearinghouse for prostitute/politicians.

Jess: You're right, Mini-Mitt would make an excellent cat toy.

Suzan: I like your idea. Don't worry, you'll get a cut :)

Erik: It's not just you. The Mini-Mitt is much more animated than the "real" Mitt.

Snave: I didn't know about the GWB squeeze toy. LOL. We definitely need a Romney squeeze toy as well.

June 13, 2012 at 1:58 PM  

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