Who Hijacked Our Country

Thursday, July 26, 2012

London’s Disorganized Olympics: This is Why the American Colonies Defeated the British

                                 by Mitt Romney

Apparently I ruffled a few Limey feathers when I spoke bluntly about that disheveled mess they’re calling an Olympic “organization.”  Well gosh darn it, I don’t care.  I’m running for President and I need to be honest and call things as I see them.

Their private security firms don’t have enough people?  If Bain Capital could purchase those firms, they’d have even fewer employees.  And those same security firms would be much more efficient as a result, because the remaining employees would be working their butts off just to keep their jobs.  These harried employees would be doing the work of three or four people, and they’d do it gladly.  They’d be well aware that if they complained, well — I like to fire people.

British immigration and customs officials threatening to go on strike?  Well let me tell you, this is exactly why the private sector will always do a better more efficient job than a bunch of faceless government bureaucrats.  When I become President of the United States, these are the types of deadwood government paper pushers who will be terminated.  They will be replaced by desperate workers who will happily do the same job for eight dollars an hour, or whatever the minimum wage is.

Ah yes, the minimum wage.  That’s another nanny state boondoggle which I will eliminate on Day One of my presidency; right after I’ve repealed Obamacare.  The minimum wage is responsible for millions of lost jobs.  Those well intentioned but fuzzy-headed liberals who came up with the minimum wage have been hurting the people they were trying to help.

As I spend more time in London, it’s becoming perfectly clear why these pompous twits got defeated by their colonies back in the 1700s.  I mean, look at them — they haven’t changed a bit.  They’re a second tier nation.  Always have been, always will be.

Well, I seem to be ruffling more feathers and stepping on more toes every minute, but heck, I’m running for office and I need to be straightforward.  Besides, my politically incorrect speeches are getting points back in the U.S.  My inbred followers are eating this stuff up, and they don’t care what a bunch of foreigners think.

When I get to Israel and Poland, I think I’ll warm up the audiences with a few jokes.  Why are synagogues round?  What do you call 144 Polacks?

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9 Comments:

Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

It's times like these, I wish I could say I was a Canadian.

July 26, 2012 at 11:53 PM  
Blogger jadedj said...

Deja vu...sounding more and more like W. Mitt Bush.

July 27, 2012 at 5:56 AM  
Anonymous Jess said...

Romneyshambles on Twitter has been a laugh fest since this all happened. While Bush was the guy everyone wanted to have a beer with, Robme is the one everyone wants to pour a beer on.

July 27, 2012 at 10:33 AM  
Blogger S.W. Anderson said...

Jess, LOL. your comment is the best laugh of the day.

On a serious note, I suspect Romney and his handlers believe the people offended and criticizing his serial screw-ups in London are ones who will never vote for him anyway. His wealthy backers and anti-Obama supporters will vote for him because he's not Obama and would be under their thumb if he wanted to get re-elected.

July 28, 2012 at 12:21 AM  
Blogger jim marquis said...

I'm afraid SW is right. The folks on the right in this country seem to enjoy being disliked and mocked by the rest of humanity.

July 28, 2012 at 6:59 AM  
Anonymous Jess said...

@SW well as of today, he is.. well his handlers are saying he wasn't properly briefed for an event of this magnitude(paraphrasing here) I mean how fuckin hard is it to go to England of all places and just be nice. He is all about blaming others for his misfortune, like the rest of the fright wing, they don't want to take responsibility for their own actions just blame it on others and see if that bullshit flies. If he screws up this badly in England can you imagine what he would do when he had to confront a hostile country. The mind boggles that people like our resident republican apologist here, still think this guy is the savior of the GoOpers.

July 28, 2012 at 10:57 AM  
Blogger jim marquis said...

I think there was also a bit of competition involved since he ran the 2002 Olympics. But then David Cameron completely flattened SLC.

July 28, 2012 at 11:50 AM  
Blogger S.W. Anderson said...

Jess, Jim, this seems to have been lost on most people, including the media. If you listen closely to or read what Romney said, you'll notice one of the Olympics problems he hit on was a strike of security workers. A strike — unions bad — get it?

That was a mating call for the U.S. Chamber of Commerce crowd back home. I expect they got it.

July 28, 2012 at 2:15 PM  
Anonymous Jolly Roger said...

SW is right, as surely as Willard's "Anglo-Saxon heritage" remarks were dog whistles for his sheet-wearing base.

July 29, 2012 at 1:35 AM  

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