Who Hijacked Our Country

Saturday, May 10, 2014

The Ultra-Cool Hip New Heritage Foundation

When somebody mentions the Heritage Foundation, you probably picture a bunch of simple-minded dunderheads standing around wearing tri-corner hats and holding up misspelled signs and the billionaires who are pulling their strings.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

Somebody at the Heritage Foundation has finally figured out that a bunch of old white bigots preaching to each other is not the path to a larger audience.  So they've come up with an online news site, the Daily Signal, which they hope will reach out to America's women, young people, lower-income and minority groups.  Millions of these people have never had a chance to understand and appreciate the sleek elegance of the Invisible Hand of the Marketplace.

And when these same people who have been brainwashed by the liberal media look inward and examine their own beliefs and values, they'll realize:  They shouldn't vote.  More than that they don't WANT to vote until they're pulling in a 6-figure salary and have bought some property; and the more expensive, the better.  It's simply not right in fact it's immoral for a productive property owner to have his vote canceled out by some swarthy low-income renter who contributes absolutely NOTHING to this great nation.

When the Heritage Foundation succeeds in tapping into the psyches of these previously brainwashed youth, minorities and womenfolk, there will be millions of new converts to the Conservative Cause.

Once again, it's cool to be conservative.  Racism rocks, Man.

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Anonymous Jess said...

Yeah a newsletter is going to make this young minority woman go vote for republicans. Only thing these idiots know about new hips is when the date for their surgery is.

May 11, 2014 at 1:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I remember when Michael Steele tried to Hip up the GOP years ago and got fired for his efforts.


May 11, 2014 at 10:29 PM  
Blogger jim marquis said...


May 12, 2014 at 4:12 PM  
Blogger jim marquis said...

By the way, that was a good line, Jess.

May 12, 2014 at 4:12 PM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Jess: LOL. They've tried and failed 126 times to attract new voters with new slogans, putting lipstick on a pig. But the 127th time is the charm.

Erik: Yup, Michael Steele was one of many examples. These assholes will never learn that they themselves are the turnoff, not their slogans or how they're portrayed by the liberal media.

Jim: My sentiments exactly.

May 12, 2014 at 8:16 PM  

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