Who Hijacked Our Country

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The NRA's Proposed New School Curriculum: Readin' and Writin' and Shootin'

Aww, heck with that there booklarnin' anyway.  Just give 'em a gun and a Bible and they'll be all set.  And if they cain't read, their friendly preacher can read the Bible to 'em.  That way, the Good Reverend can guide them to the important passages — you know, about God hatin' queers and slutty womenfolk — and forgit all that Leftist nonsense about helping the poor.

NRA spokesman Billy Johnson said:

“Just like we teach them reading and writing, necessary skills. We would teach shooting and firearm competency.  It wouldn’t matter if a child’s parents weren’t good at it. We’d find them a mentor. It wouldn’t matter if they didn’t want to learn. We would make it necessary to advance to the next grade.”

Why, that boy gits a 4.0 average in that there fizziks and histeree, but he cain't even fahr a gun???  Hold him back!!!

And here's another advantage to the NRA's gun curriculum:  If you're handy with a gun but you're flunking all them sissy bookworm classes and your teacher is threatening to flunk you — shoot that sumbitch!!!

The NRA's Billy Johnson also, for some odd reason, actually wants to have a bunch of government bureaucrats meddling in people's lives:

“I mean, perhaps we would have government ranges where you could shoot for free or a yearly allotment of free ammunition.  Gun policy, driven by our need for guns would protect equal access to guns, just like we protect equal access to voting, and due process, and free speech.”

[sigh]

 

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4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

HA! The NRA wanting to became a cabinet part of the Government? I guess they have enough clout to rescind the ADA, for those kids who are too blind, deaf, have no appendages or otherwise too disabled to handle and fire and gun!

Actually when I think of all the Abusive PE Coaches I would love to shoot in Gun Glass. Also Gives new meaning to School Rivalries!

Erik

July 23, 2014 at 9:55 PM  
Blogger jadedj said...

Ah come on Tom...this is from an article in The Onion...right? Right?

July 24, 2014 at 4:28 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

or we can give them a bomb and a Koran and call it a day

July 24, 2014 at 7:29 AM  
Blogger Tom Harper said...

Erik: Damn right, there can be no exceptions to the gun requirement. If a student is blind, crippled or has had both arms amputated -- tough shit :)

jadedj: I wish I could say it was from The Onion. Like they say, you can't make this shit up.

Anoymous: A Koran? Oh my God, No! That's the wrong sky wizard!

July 25, 2014 at 10:51 AM  

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