2014: That Was The Year That Was

Eric Cantor (who???).  ISIS.  Ebola.  Rep. Michael Grimm (R—Greasebag) threatening a reporter with “I'll break you in half, like a boy!”  Midterm elections — Republican takeover of the Senate.  Legalized marijuana in Colorado and Washington.  Gay marriage now legal in 35 states.  Militarization of local police departments.  Ferguson.  Michael Brown.  Eric Garner.  “I Can't Breathe!”  “Mayor Bill de Blasio, Don't Insult My Sacrifice!”  North Korea/Sony/“The Interview.”  Obama's executive action on immigration reform.  Ditto the Cuban embargo.

Interesting year.

As Seattle Times columnist Danny Westneat says, 2014 gets a bad rap, much of it undeserved:

“Sorry, 2014. It was all a big misunderstanding.  Never has a year been portrayed as so unremittingly bleak (including, at times, by yours truly). Yet all the while it turns out it was humming along just fine.  Remember how an entire national election was conducted around the ideas that the economy is cratering, Ebola is coming and Obamacare is a job-smothering disaster?  Oops. The economy was in fact skipping along — the U.S. added the most jobs this year since 1999. Ebola never came. And Obamacare not only didn’t go into the much-predicted “death spiral” or kill millions of jobs, it prompted the largest, fastest drop in the number of uninsured in generations.”

And:

“Just about everything that we want to go down did drop in 2014: the deficit, oil imports, gas prices, unemployment, teen pregnancy. What we want to go up mostly did go up: wages, the stock market, green energy, school test scores.”

So there.  And on that note, Happy New Year!

 

Merry Christmas to Wall Street. Love, Taxpayers.

Connection Revealed: Eat Fast Food, Vote Republican

Fast/processed/convenience “food” not only has the health risks we already know about — obesity, heart disease, diabetes, et al.  In addition, too much fast food affects your brain.  And not in a good way.

According to a recent study published in Clinical Pediatrics:  “Our findings provide evidence that eating fast food is linked to another problem: poorer academic outcomes.”

That's sugarcoating-speak for “It makes you dumb.  Upid-stay.”

Think there's a connection between the mass overconsumption of fast food, and the fact that millions of voters keep getting conned into voting against their own interests?  Let's have a look:

1. Tens of millions of Americans have spent years — decades — clogging their brains with boatloads of high fructose corn syrup, pink slime, white flour, and hundreds of “additives” your high school chemistry teacher never heard of.

2. Tens of millions of Americans believe:

A) Clean air, drinkable water and renewable energy sources are just phony excuses for Barack Hussein Osama, the U.N. and the Trilateral Commission to Seize Our Property;

B) The aforementioned villains from the previous sentence are also planning to take away our guns the minute we let our guard down.

C)  The economy is being strangled by too many cumbersome regulations.  As soon as we eliminate these intrusive laws that coddle workers, consumers and the environment, millions of new jobs will be created so fast our heads will be spinning.

D) The Great Crash of 2008 was caused by labor unions, non-profit organizations, too many Wall Street regulations which straitjacketed the banks so they couldn't do their jobs, and millions of greedy homeowners who just couldn't wait to buy a house they couldn't afford so they'd get foreclosed and lose everything they had.

E) There's no such thing as global warming; it's just God hugging us closer.   Etc.

Connect the dots.

Joe Cocker

Kickass rock/blues belter Joe Cocker has died at age 70 — lung cancer.

He had pretty much fallen off my radar for the last few decades, but his first two solo albums (1970, give or take a year) were un-fuckin'-real.  He didn't sound like anybody else.  Yes he was heavily influenced by Ray Charles, but he covered a lot of uncharted territory as well.  And it didn't hurt that he had Jimmy Page and Steve Winwood — among others — backing him up.

I usually don't like cover versions of songs I'm already familiar with, but he sure pumped some life into “With A Little Help From My Friends” and “She Came In Through the Bathroom Window,” compared to the Beatles' bland original versions.  And he did a wicked version of “Unchain My Heart” that even surpasses Ray Charles' version, IMHO.

The only cover song of his I can think of that I disliked was “Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood.”  Sorry, but the Animals' version ruled.  Accept no substitutes.

A few years ago there was a YouTube video of Joe Cocker singing “With A Little Help From My Friends,” captioned with “misheard” lyrics.

Check it out.

R.I.P.

But, the Cuban Emgargo was Working

Colorado Sues Oklahoma: Too Many Inbreds Pouring Over the State Line

Scott Pruitt, Attorney General of Oklahoma, has filed a lawsuit against Colorado because of Colorado's citizens' vote to legalize marijuana.  Scott Pruitt — he's also one of the ringleaders of the GOP's never-ending crusade to derail Obamacare — said:

“What we take issue with is this licensing scheme, this commercialization, that the state has promoted at the expense of Oklahoma and Nebraska...there are illegal products that are being trafficked across state lines. Clearly we've been injured.”

In response, the State of Colorado has filed a counter-suit against Oklahoma, alleging that Oklahoma's constant exporting of dumb rednecks has ruined the cultural/intellectual/political climate of neighboring Colorado.  A spokesperson for the counter-suit, who declined to be identified, said:

“We are the ones who have 'clearly been injured.'  We've been working to provide the best possible education system for our citizens, and then these bone-stupid Okies keep pouring into our state.  They're dumbing down the entire school system; they're stupidifying the entire state!  Colorado has some of the world's most magnificent scenery, wildlife, biological corridors.  We want to save these irreplaceable treasures from the devastating effects of climate change.  It's an uphill battle, standing up against the deep-pocketed fossil fuel industry.  And this battle is even harder when we're surrounded by a bunch of inbred Bible-humpers who think Jesus and the dinosaurs were romping and frolicking 2,000 years ago, and global warming is just God hugging us closer.”

U.S. will Restore Diplomatic Relations with Cuba

For the first time in over fifty years, the United States will restore diplomatic relations with Cuba and open an embassy in Havana. Whoa!  You mean we's gonna be tradin' with them there Comminists?!?  Next stop, 21st century!

President Obama announced:

“We will end an outdated approach that for decades has failed to advance our interests and instead we will begin to normalize relations between our two countries.”  He said the agreement will “begin a new chapter among the nations of the Americas” and move beyond a “rigid policy that is rooted in events that took place before most of us were born.”

Senator Marco Rubio (R—Token) got his panties in a bunch, whimpering that there will be no funding for Obama's new policy, no lifting of the trade embargo and that no ambassador to Cuba will ever be confirmed:

“I’m committed to doing everything I can to unravel as many of these changes as possible.”

FANTASTIC News about Keystone XL Pipeline: No Radioactive Wastes will be Transported across America. Ditto for the Ebola Virus.

I don't mean to be negative about a (slightly) positive news item, but this has been bugging the shit out of me for hours and I'm going to fuckin' RANT!!!

Around mid-afternoon today (meaning yesterday, December 16th), I got this absolutely ecstatic e-mail from the Interior Department exclaiming that President Obama has used his executive authority to stand up to Big Energy interests and protect Bristol Bay, Alaska.  And I became equally ecstatic.  YES!!!  For several years — being on the mailing list of several environmental organizations — I've been kept apprised of the raging battle between protecting Bristol Bay, Alaska and the global rapists mining corporations that are determined to rip open this unique treasure for whatever gold and other minerals they might find.  (Google “Pebble Mine” for more information.)

Robert Redford, among others, has been using his celebrity status to push for the protection of Bristol Bay.  Bristol Bay is not only an incredibly beautiful pristine region; it's also the world's largest salmon spawning ground.  About fifty local tribes are dependent on salmon for their economic survival.  A mining accident of any kind could devastate this pristine environment as well as wreck the livelihoods of thousands of indigenous people.

Needless to say, when I got this exuberant e-mail about President Obama protecting Bristol Bay, I assumed they meant the proposed Pebble Mine was toast.

Ahem, actually, uhh...Not exactly.  But President Obama did promise that there won't be any oil or natural gas drilling in Bristol Bay.  Well that's nice.  Nice to know that something I wasn't even worried about — hey, no worries.  The problem that never existed still doesn't exist.

Whew!!!

Anyway, when I got that bubbling jumping-for-joy e-mail, I googled Obama Bristol Bay just to confirm this fantastic news.  One of the linked articles actually deigned to mention the Pebble Mine, in terms of “oh, Pebble Mine will be a separate decision, probably in a few weeks.”

Oh well, let's stay positive.  Have you heard the great news?!?  The unemployment rate has gone below 12%, the United States is NOT planning to invade Israel, and there will be absolutely no —repeat NO — nuclear reactors inside Yosemite National Park.

“Don't Insult My Sacrifice”

Don't Insult My Sacrifice is the title of an online petition posted by the New York City Patrolmen's Benevolent Association.  “Don't Insult My Sacrifice” is New York's Finest's pouting thrust-out-your-lower-lip stamp-your-feet way of saying to Mayor Bill de Blasio and City Council Speaker Melissa Mark-Viverito “Don't come to my funeral if I get killed in the line of duty.”  The petition accuses the mayor and city council speaker of “consistent refusal to show police officers the support and respect they deserve.”

[rolls eyes]

OK, first of all, I'm not downplaying the risks of a law enforcement career, or the unimaginable heartbreak of family members when a loved one doesn't come home one night.  But this kind of anguish occurs any time anyone gets killed in the line of duty.

And that brings us to a well-documented but little-known fact:  There are millions and millions of everyday working Americans whose jobs are much more dangerous than that of a police officer.

Check this out.  And bookmark it, and forward it to everyone you know.

Nationally, the overall mortality risk (per 100,000 workers) is 3.5 for ALL occupations.

In California (presumably not too different from the rest of the country), the mortality risk for police officers and sheriffs is 4.9 per 100,000.

For a little perspective, the mortality risk for commercial fishermen is 127.3.  Roofers — 34.1.  Construction workers — 26.8.  Landscapers — 15.6.  Taxi drivers and chauffeurs — 19.7.

Anyway, you get the idea.  Yes, police officers — like workers in many other occupations — sometimes get killed in the line of duty.  But this does not in any way justify the hatred directed at anyone who dares to criticize the uncalled-for brutality of a rogue police officer.

If We Get Another Government Shutdown, How Could We Tell?

In order to avoid another government shutdown, the newest federal budget “agreement” includes defunding Wall Street reform, making another 2008-style global meltdown even more likely; defunding the Environmental Protection Agency (if you're a Real Murcan, you'll drink contaminated water and breathe dirty air and you will LIKE it); and rolling back highway safety regulations.  Oh well, at least we'll still have private prisons, the War on Drugs and the Pentagon.

And this “compromise” means we've avoided a government shutdown?!?  I say go ahead and shut it the fuck down.  As we used to say about Ronald Reagan having Alzheimer's — how could we tell?

America's Selfie

States' Rights

Hat Tip to my friend and frequent commenter Erik, who forwarded me this:

Photograph the Clubbing of Baby Seals, Go To Prison

It had to happen.  If factory farms are protected against those whiny treehuggers who might photograph the hazardous unsanitary living conditions, then by the same “reasoning,” the inbred neckdroolers who club baby seals should be entitled to the same protection.

Dion Dakins, executive director of Canada’s largest seal processing plant (don't ask), wants the Canadian government to ban all independent observation of seal clubbing/mutilating.  Because of the worldwide publicity and resultant outcry against the hideous cruelty involved in these seal hunts, the demand for seal “products” has plummeted.  These “products” have been banned in the U.S., the European Union and even Russia (not exactly a hotbed of touchy-feely animal rights sentiment).

Instead of getting a clue and changing their occupation to selling a product that people actually want to buy, the seal clubbers and their government prostitutes would rather just squelch the publicity. 

Republican Hypocrisy on “States' Rights,” “Individual Freedom” and “Limited Government”

This isn't exactly an Earth-shaking revelation, but it's refreshing to see this issue written up at a mainstream news site by a well known author:  Republicans say they believe in small government, except when it comes to marijuana.

A current example of GOP two-facedness is their lawsuit du jour against Obamacare.  They're determined to get the Supreme Court to overturn the Affordable Care Act — which was passed by Congress — while simultaneously ranting about “unelected activist judges legislating from the bench.”  If you're not a Republican, you'll notice a certain irony here.

As Ryan Cooper says in the linked article, “Conservatives don't like ObamaCare and want it destroyed. How this happens is of little importance.”  So what if it takes an activist judge spitting all over the American People's elected representatives?  What's your point?

The other high-profile current example is marijuana legalization in Washington, D.C.  The will of the people (pot was legalized by an initiative that passed by a landslide among Washington, D.C. voters), local government control vs. the Big Bad Federal Government, personal freedom — this pot legalization vote is a flagship of GOP slogans.

And as you've probably guessed, congressional Republicans are determined to use their federal authority to stomp all over the will of Washington DC voters, the local autonomy of the District of Columbia and the GOP's own rhetoric about “individual freedom” vs. “government tyranny!” and “government overreach!”

As the article asks, “Where's the Tea Party?”

Chris Christie Goes Down on Big Ag Lobby — the Blowjob Heard 'Round the World

With all due respect to Ross Perot, that Giant Sucking Sound you're hearing is the sound of Chris Christie trying to blow his way to the White House in 2016.  It ain't gonna happen, but unfortunately we'll all spend the next two years being treated to the disgusting sights and sounds...

Last Friday, Governor Chris Christie vetoed a bill which would have banned the use of gestation crates — i.e. where hundreds of pigs are crammed so tightly into cages, they can't move.  There's the Friday News Dump and then there's the news dump on the Friday after Thanksgiving.  Chris Christie did NOT want to be seen bending over for the factory farm lobby.  This bill to ban gestation crates had been passed by gigantic margins in both houses of the New Jersey legislature, and it's supported by ninety-something percent of New Jersey residents.

But Iowa governor and Big Ag prostitute Terry Branstad wanted Christie to veto the bill.  And Iowa is the first stop on Chris Christie's road to the White House (see snowball's chance in hell).  What to do?  Vote with the people of New Jersey and simultaneously take a stand against animal cruelty, or blow the governor of Iowa?

About the choice Christie made, Jon Stewart said:

“Your choice was either listening to the nearly unanimous voice of the people that elected you or saying ‘(expletive) them,’ and kowtowing to a state 1,000 miles away in exchange for, really, let’s be honest, the slimmest chance for political gain in a caucus you’re not going to win. Sir, you're not winning.”

Hold Your Arms Up in the “Hands Up, Don't Shoot” Pose — Go To Prison

Leading up to yesterday's NFL game, five players for the St. Louis Rams entered the field with their arms held up in the “I surrender!” “Don't Shoot!” position.  I thought it was funny when I saw it on the news last night.  But the St. Louis Police Officers Association was not amused, and is demanding that the NFL discipline those five uppity nigras and put 'em back in their place.  Their statement said:

“The SLPOA is calling for the players involved to be disciplined and for the Rams and the NFL to deliver a very public apology.”

Uh oh — these guys have guns, and as we know, they're not afraid to use them.

The SLPOA's business manager is Jeff Roorda, a former police officer who valiantly fought against the idea of police officers wearing body cameras.  He's also a former state legislator who tried to pass legislation that would keep the names of police officers secret when they've been involved in a shooting.  Get a traffic ticket and your name goes in the paper.  Shoot somebody —ssssshhhhh!!!

Jeff Roorda also threatened a boycott of the NFL by trigger-happy rogue cops and their supporters:

“I’d remind the NFL and their players that it is not the violent thugs burning down buildings that buy their advertiser’s products.  It’s cops and the good people of St. Louis and other NFL towns that do. Somebody needs to throw a flag on this play. If it’s not the NFL and the Rams, then it’ll be cops and their supporters.”

Right.  All three of them.