Banking Industry Appalled at Bailout for Homeowners

This story isn’t from The Onion or a Saturday Night Live skit. It’s for real. WTF???

Two national banking organizations — the American Bankers Association and the Financial Services Roundtable — are having a tantrum because some of their $700 billion bailout package might actually go to regular people so they can keep their homes.

You can almost picture the stomping foot and the thrust-out lower lip. “It’s My bailout! My money! All Mine! MIIINE!!!!!”

“Pleeease, I need a handout. My Learjet needs some repair work, and there’s a problem with the sauna at one of our vacation homes. Whaddya mean some lowlife working person is whining about his mortgage payments? Get a job! Oh God, please help me.”

Citigroup Inc. has reached an agreement with several Democratic senators that might help some mortgage holders avoid foreclosure and keep their homes. (This legislation hasn’t been passed yet.) Before you start patting Citigroup on the back — this agreement was part of the “strings” attached to their $45 billion handout from Us. From YOU.

Citigroup (like most other banking VIPs) had previously been against that socialist idea of helping homeowners with their mortgage payments. But when they saw the size of their gigantic gargantuan welfare check, and were told they might have to actually do something in return…

And in other Absurd But True stories: Sarah Palin is lashing out at the media. Again. Still. This time it’s because “the media” is giving kid glove treatment to Caroline Kennedy, compared to the harsh scrutiny that Mooselini got. Let’s see, Vice President of the United States for four years, maybe eight years, and a stepping stone to the presidency; versus the last four years of a Senate seat. Yup, same thing.

And now the U.S. Navy’s newest fighting ship: the USS Willie Horton. It’s a kinder gentler aircraft carrier.

cross-posted at Bring It On!