Washington State: How NOT to Run a Liquor Store

I didn’t think this would make the national news.  With the most volatile mudslinging election EVER coming up in a few months, most Americans could give two shits whether Washington residents purchase their booze at the supermarket or at a state-run liquor store.

Then again, Washington’s newly privatized liquor distribution system is a microcosm of the ongoing Corporate/Rightwing drive to privatize everything from education to prisons to mass transit.  In this particular case, it backfired big time.  It was a gold mine for Costco, which spent $22 million to purchase the statewide election results.  It was a knife in the back for almost everyone else, especially the approximately 1,000 civil service employees of the Washington State Liquor Department who are now unemployed.

Liquor privatization was approved by Washington voters last November.  During the months leading up to the election, the ubiquitous soundbite was “get the government out of the liquor business.”  This phrase was parroted endlessly by millions of Washington residents who probably had no idea how robotic and drone-like they sounded.  Conversations, letters to the editor, opinion poll questions — everybody who was in favor of the liquor privatization initiative used that exact same wording, again and again.  Were they thinking or were they programmed?

Privatization and competition are always better than a bunch of faceless bureaucrats regulating everything.  Right?  Lower prices, more choices.  NOT.  As of June 1st — when this new privatization took effect — liquor prices have gone through the roof.  At the now-defunct state liquor stores, the price on the shelf was the price you paid at the cash register.  Under our new improved system, there’s a whole shitload of new taxes, fees and surcharges.  And these new taxes and surcharges are NOT included in the shelf price.  When you bring your bottle(s) to the cash register — SURPRISE!

At our local Safeway, an employee was stationed in the liquor aisle, with the sole purpose of warning shoppers that the price would be about thirty percent higher than the price marked on the shelf.

Let this be a lesson to people everywhere who have been mesmerized by “Privatization is Good.”  “Privatization means more competition, lower prices.”  Etc.  Think, don’t Parrot.

We’ve all heard stories about reformed drug addicts who travel around the country, warning students not to do drugs.  An old wrinkled toothless former meth addict might say:  “Kids, meth ruined my life.  Don’t do what I did.  And by the way, I’ll be twenty-three next week.”

Washington’s gullible voters who approved the liquor privatization initiative could redeem themselves by traveling around the country, warning other voters:  “Don’t be gullible like I was.”  “If a corporation spends $22 million to purchase an election, ask yourself why.”  “If somebody’s only reason for being in favor of an initiative is a mindless recitation of ‘get the government out of the __________________,’ ASK this person if s/he even knows what s/he’s saying.”

Went to Canada, but Came Back

No, the election didn’t have anything to do with it. We spent two days in Victoria, B.C.; made the reservations several months ago.

Anyway, when you’re surrounded by carnage and mayhem, it’s best to focus on the silver linings. But for the grace of God, we could’ve had Ken Buck, Sharron Angle, Christine O’Donnell and Carly Failurina in the Senate.

And Dino Rossi appears to be failing in his third run for elective office. Two runs for governor of Washington — Poof!!! And Patty Murray is favored to win re-election to the Senate, but the results aren’t final yet. Dino Rossi likes to portray himself as an “outsider” because he can’t get elected to anything. Sort of like a homeless person who brags about not being materialistic.

California voters showed that — in some cases at least — there aren’t enough billions of dollars in the world to buy their votes. A few Texas oil tycoons tried to trick California voters into overturning the state’s clean energy law that was signed by Governor Schwarzenegger several years ago (Proposition 23). If Proposition 23 passed, millions of jobs would appear out of the ether, and California would instantly become the most prosperous place in the history of the universe. Fortunately the voters didn’t fall for it. Meg Whitman was in favor of Proposition 23 and she went down in flames with it.

Washington State also had a few sickfuck ballot initiatives that crashed and burned. Privatizing workers’ compensation insurance? Riiight. Wouldn’t you just love to have your workers’ comp claim be processed by a bunch of profit-driven go-getters who can make more money if they find a way to deny your claim. Thank God the voters saw through that bullshit. I’ll take a clock-watching bureaucrat any day; somebody who has nothing to gain by denying people’s claims and/or making the smallest possible payments.

And Costco was pushing for an initiative to privatize Washington’s liquor industry, to make it more like California and Arizona (among other states). Sure, I like being able to walk into any grocery store, supermarket or mini-mart — at any time of day or night — and buy some booze. But Washington’s version works just fine too. You have to buy your booze from a state-run liquor store that closes at 9 p.m. It can be sort of a pain, but I’ve never seen anyone going through the DTs because they didn’t get to the liquor store on time. (You can buy beer and wine almost anywhere, just not booze.) Another oddity about Washington is that almost every restaurant — anything that’s a proper restaurant and not just a café or coffee shop — has a full liquor license. Sort of the opposite of California, where you can buy booze everywhere, but a liquor license is something that restaurants will kill for.

When you go to the liquor store with any sort of regularity, the people who work there aren’t faceless bureaucrats. They’re real people. They’re acquaintances; your neighbors. Like everybody else, they’re supporting families; making rent/mortgage payments. And if that liquor privatization initiative had passed, they all would have lost their jobs — just so a few Costco executives could become even fatter.

So, pretty good election results, no? Well, you know, other than…