Crisis Pregnancy Centers

Crisis Pregnancy Centers (CPC) are kind of the opposite of the old cliché.  Looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck — but it’s NOT a duck.  Gotcha!

Crisis pregnancy centers exist — and they’re spreading like cancer — solely for the purpose of sidetracking and derailing women who are seeking an abortion.  When a desperate woman walks in, thinking she’s finally found an abortion clinic or at least a referral, she gets bombarded with confusing sales pitches, brochures, lectures, pictures.  It might be hours before she finally figures out she’s been had; or before the CPC employee finally blurts out “Oh, you want an abortion?!?  [gasp]  We don’t do that here!”

The title of the linked article asks if crisis pregnancy centers are using “false advertising.”  Well DUUUHHH!!!  If this isn’t false advertising, I don’t know what is.

In Washington — probably other states too — legislation was introduced (and defeated) which would have required crisis pregnancy centers to have prominent signs clearly stating that they do NOT offer abortion as one of their services.  There was a bunch of orchestrated folksy-sounding letters to the local paper, all expressing bewilderment at this incredible government bureaucratic overreach.  “What???  A business has to advertise the products they DON’T sell???”  “What’s next?  Will the local butcher have to have a huge sign saying he doesn’t sell organic vegetables?”

Let’s turn this around, shall we?  A would-be gun buyer walks into a store called “Gitcher Gun Right Here.”  The customer gets a smooth sales pitch that gradually oozes into a lecture about gun violence.  Finally the customer says “OK, cut to the chase.  I came here to buy a —”  “What?!?  If you still want to buy one of those deadly contraptions, you came to the wrong place.”

How would the Right react?  Think they’d still be spewing out their choreographed soundbites about “Oh sure, and let’s make sure every butcher tells his customers that he doesn’t sell tofu or alfalfa sprouts, huh huh huh huh uh uh uh uh.”

A few months ago, Shari Plunkett — founder of First Resort, a chain of crisis pregnancy centers — sent the following e-mail to her fellow fetus-worshipers:

“With the closing of five abortion clinics in the Bay Area in March, our call volume has never been higher.  Women are calling in survival mode, with utter panic in their voices…‘Planned Parenthood has closed’, they tell us, ‘I need an abortion, can you help me?’  This is one of the most amazing opportunities we’ve ever had to serve abortion minded women.”

Sleazebucket.