Happy “Teabagged Enough Already” Day

Ah, April 15th, the day millions of teabirthers have been longing for. Time to water the Tree of Liberty with the blood of those socialist tyrants who have ruined America.

As much fun as it is to shout and wave a bunch of inflammatory signs — and the more mis-spelled words, the merrier — let’s re-examine a few sentences from Obama’s SOTU speech a few months ago:

“Let me repeat: we cut taxes. We cut taxes for 95 percent of working families. We cut taxes for small businesses. We cut taxes for first-time homebuyers. We cut taxes for parents trying to care for their children. We cut taxes for 8 million Americans paying for college.”

And the clincher:

“And we haven't raised income taxes by a single dime on a single person. Not a single dime.”

But hey, enjoy the festivities. Don’t let a bunch of boring facts ruin the party.

As much as everybody bashes the IRS — what’s not to bash? — I’m in favor of one action they’re finally taking. Slippery employers who reclassify their workers as “independent contractors” instead of “employees” — Fun’s Over, Asshole.

For years, columnists and pundits — the late Molly Ivins among them — have been ranting against this slippery tactic. Employers who stoop to this lowlife stunt can save themselves a fortune — at everybody else’s expense.

If you’re an independent contractor, you’re your own boss. Nobody tells you what to do or when to do it, what to wear, when you can and can’t go on vacation. You have autonomy and independence, but there's no safety net.

Employees, of course, are under the boss’s thumb. But if they get sick, they MIGHT have health insurance provided by the company. If they get downsized, they’re eligible for unemployment benefits. If they’re injured on the job, they get workers’ compensation.

It was just a matter of time before a bunch of sleazewipe employers decided to have the best of both worlds. And now millions of workers have all the autonomy and independence of an employee, combined with the security and safety net of an independent contractor.

This has been a gold mine for unscrupulous employers.

Go get ‘em IRS.