Idaho Governor Tries to Lure Businesses from Oregon

As any Good Republican will tell you, when a state raises taxes or starts smothering businesses with too many cumbersome regulations — Businesses Will Leave! That’s why the red states have such healthy economies and the blue states are all withering on the vine.

Oregon’s voters have approved an initiative that will raise taxes on the state’s wealthiest residents. And the Washington legislature has suspended a voter-approved requirement that a two thirds vote is necessary to raise taxes. All they need now is a simple majority.

To Idaho governor C.L. “Butch” Otter, this spells Opportunity.

Butch Otter (I think there’s a lewd joke in there somewhere) sent a letter last week to business owners in Oregon and Washington. It was titled: “Love letter to our neighbors: Idaho is open for your business.”

Here are some exclusive excerpts from that letter:

“Up here in these parts, we don’t go believe in redistributing a man’s hard-earned money to a bunch of lazy pot smoking parasites. If you’re tired of your tax dollars subsidizing them commie schools and a bunch of tree hugging regelations, come on up. We simple folk up here.

“Employers here can do anything they want, when they want, and there ain’t any of them socialist bureaucrats getting’ in there and regelatin’ stuff. Workers up here know they’re damn lucky to have jobs, so you won’t hear them whining about low wages or dangerous working conditions. One complaint and out they go. If these folks want to put food on their families, they’ll shut the fuck up and keep their noses to the grindstone.

“And if you don’t think reading’ and ritin’ and edumucation is worth a tin shit, Idaho is the place for you. Just take a gander at some of these fine fellers. They ain’t much good at that there booklarnin’ — but if you give one of them a job to do, he’ll keep on working’ and working’ and working’ ‘til the job is done. And you won’t hear him whining about water pollution or endangered species or any of that other claptrap that liberals are always carrying on about.

“As you know, the southern states have a popular saying, ‘thank God for Mississippi.’ Well, I want the entire country to be saying:

Thank God for Idaho.”