The Crusades: Progress Report

Two Steps Forward. The Nation of Jesus is gradually making inroads against those primitive Moslem savages who dare to stand in our way. Our president — the Real President, not that socialist imposter — told us we were on a crusade, and Lieutenant General William Boykin confirms it. He refers to America’s military forces as the Army of God.

Hallelujah!

And Lieutenant-Colonel Gary Hensley has told soldiers in Afghanistan that as followers of Jesus Christ, they have a responsibility “to be witnesses for him. The special forces guys — they hunt men basically. We do the same things as Christians, we hunt people for Jesus. We do, we hunt them down. Get the hound of heaven after them, so we get them into the kingdom. That's what we do, that's our business.”

Bring ‘em home to Jesus!

So what if these backward people hate us? We have bigger weapons than they do, and our god can beat up their god.

And One Step Back: Obama is talking to the enemy! Our Real President sent soldiers over to that Godforsaken part of the world, to show them Ay-rabs who’s boss. And now that Muslim occupant is talking to them.

That’s appeasement! Just wait ‘til Dick Cheney hears about this.