Michael Steele: “Barack Obama Invaded Afghanistan, Invaded Iraq and Created the Patriot Act”

Obama also cut taxes for the wealthiest Americans. He inherited a budget surplus from the previous president, and quickly turned it into the most crippling deficit in American history. And don’t forget, he shat all over the Constitution by eliminating Habeas Corpus; and he thinks the Geneva Convention is “quaint.”

And he spends way too much time hiding at his “ranch” in Crawford, TX, where he rides his mountain bike and clears brush. That is, when he isn’t shitfaced on Jim Beam. When his wife was in her teens, she murdered —

Oh, wait. OOPS.

We’re all waiting now for Michael Steele to do his best Emily Litella imitation: “Nevermind.”

Ready now, straight from the horse’s mouth:

Afghanistan is “a war of Obama’s choosing” and “is not something the United States has actively prosecuted or wanted to engage in…If he's such a student of history, has he not understood that, you know, that's the one thing you don't do is engage in a land war in Afghanistan? All right? Because everyone who's tried, over a thousand years of history, has failed. And there are reasons for that. There are other ways to engage in Afghanistan.”

Steele gave this little “history” lesson at a fundraising event that was “closed to the media.”

Closed to the media??? Heellllooooo?!?!?!?!? Dingdingdingdingdingding!!! Welcome to the Twenty-First Century! There’s no such thing as “closed to the media” any more; and there hasn’t been for a long time now.

PSSST: There’s a brand new invention — a cellular telephone that takes videos. Wow!!!

Where the fuck has he been? Every time Sarah Palin goes to one of those “closed to the media” events and spews out her patented third-grader-at-show-and-tell shiny happy talk, her blubberings are posted on YouTube before she’s even through speaking.

As with so many other recent Republican blunders — if the Democrats can’t make hay out of this in November, they deserve to lose.