Obama to Republicans: “OK, I Sacrificed the Environment. Do You Like Me Yet?”

Poor Barack Obama just wants the mean kids to be nice to him. If he keeps doing everything they tell him to do, maybe they’ll quit calling him names and stealing his lunch money. Who knows, if he completely renounces everything he believes in, they might even invite him to sit at the popular table.

The latest group to be thrown under the bus: people who like to breathe clean air. Obama has directed the EPA to withdraw a new smog regulation. Sorry, nerds, but the jocks told me if I did this, they won’t snap towels at me in the locker room. At least not today.

In his ongoing quest to be liked, Obama has allowed the temporary Bush tax cuts — that word again is temporary — to continue. And during the debt ceiling battles, when Republicans said “Lose the safety net or America gets it!” — Obama said “OK. I don’t want any trouble.”

And don’t forget the Public Option. (There’s a name out of the past. That’s sooo 2009.) Candidate Obama campaigned fiercely for the Public Option. President Obama took it off the table.

So far, President Obama hasn’t gotten much mileage out of his “When the GOP says ‘Jump!’ I’ll say ‘How High Sir?’” approach. But if he keeps on renouncing everything he used to stand for, and throwing everybody who voted for him under the bus, maybe, just maybe, the Republicans will finally say “Hey, this guy is OK. Let’s stop picking on him.”

As Albert Einstein famously said: If you try something and it doesn’t work, just keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, and eventually you’ll get the result you wanted.